We’re continuing answering the questions from our list. Check last week’s if you missed them!
How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?
Richard: For me, it’s mostly a question of trust. I’m fairly unlikely to be submissive on a first encounter. Thus, I think the primary emotion I feel when I’m being subby is some variant of safe, cared for, etc.
Jayden: I am generally submissive in the bedroom, so if I meet someone who can take charge, I’m usually down for it. There does have to be some level of trust for me to get fully into the headspace, and I have noticed with Richard that the longer we’re together, the more we interact, the more I trust him, the deeper and harder I’m willing and able to submit. It’s intoxicating in the best possible way.
Do you switch into a dominant role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that you maintain control over? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you?
Richard: I consider myself a Dom-leaning-switch. Because I have little interest in out-of-scene submission, I maintain control of most things besides basic sexual stuff.
Jayden: I’m a sub-leaning-switch. There are occasional times that I like to play with a sub and it undeniably turns me on. But long term dominance doesn’t do much for me and often feels very heavy. I once had a sub who wanted me to pick his underwear for him. It was so taxing on me that I almost couldn’t do it, and he did everything he could to make it easy for me. For whatever reason, it just weighed on me emotionally. I’m just not interested in being Dominant in that way.
How do you know you are dominant or have the potential to be dominant? How do you feel when you express your dominance?
Richard: I started rooting for the bad guy at a young age, and I think I enjoyed power fantasies proto-sexually before I had a real concept of what sexuality was. Being dominant makes me feel sexy, wanted, and powerful.
Jayden: I had a partner a lonnnng time ago and we played at both sides. It was a great learning experience and I realized that I enjoyed being dominant sometimes. It turns me on a lot in scenes.
Do you switch into a submissive role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that you give up control over? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you?
Richard: I consider myself a Dom-leaning-switch. The biggest thing I refuse to control with my subs is their relationships with other partners. In general, it varies depending on the specific sub, relationship, etc. With most of my subs, I’ve had to do a lot of the planning for long term plans, major vacations, etc. but Jayden is planning most of our trip last week, since she’s been there before.
Jayden: I often switch into a submissive role, especially with Richard. I don’t mind having some level of control in things around the house, but that seems to be mostly divided equally. Richard and I talk a lot, and it’s nice that we’re a partnership, but when it comes to anything sexual, I’m ready and willing to defer to him.