We’re continuing answering the questions from our list. Check last week’s if you missed them!
Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?
Richard: I love being bound (and then trying to get out of them and being punished for it) and have a fairly strong masochistic streak. I certainly can sub without them, but they are some of my favorite parts.
Jayden: There are so many parts of BDSM that are important as a submissive for me. I am the polar opposite of a brat, and I try very hard to follow the rules and be Good. It is the core of my submission. If I think Master will like it, I’ll do it and be happy about it. Not because I don’t want to tell him no but because I really, really like it when I’m doing something for the express purpose of pleasing Master.
Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your submission? How do you feel about it?
Richard: I don’t expect them, but I don’t really mind them either. Mostly it’s just an excuse to get spanked.
Jayden: I don’t like being punished. As Richard demonstrated the other day, all he has to do is scold me and I cower, even when I didn’t do anything wrong and he was doing it as a joke to show our friend. I still got upset (until he told me I was a Good Girl and gave me scritches). But if I do break the rules, then yeah, I’ll certainly accept a punishment, and I have no doubt I would get one.
Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?
Richard: If I’m not getting spanked, I’m clearly behaving too well.
Jayden: (He’s such a brat!) I get maintenance spankings at least once a week, and I like that, but I don’t want to be spanked as part of a punishment. Mostly because he’d have to spank me really hard for me not to enjoy it.
Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your dominant relationships? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your dominance, peripheral or non-existent (other than the dominance part)?
Richard: I’ve done some bondage with most partners. Jayden mostly gets tied down so I can make her orgasm too many times in a row. We also do a lot of S&M. Jayden is a huge pain slut, and I’m happy to deliver.
Jayden: I don’t do well as a long-term Dom, so as much as I like it, it’s just something I do for a scene here or there.
Do you accept and/or expect discipline or punishments as a part of your Dominance? How do you feel about it?
Richard: As the Dom, keeping up on punishments can take a lot of energy. It’s one thing to do a funishment and give someone a couple dozen slaps for being bad, but actually tracking, enforcing, etc. rules, and taking the time to punish them when broken, is a lot of time and effort. I’d like to do it more, but it requires a fairly motivated and coordinated sub to keep it from turning into work.
Jayden: I’m not great at giving out punishments. I’m often too nice. I did have a sub once who expected all of his punishments to be things like spanking (which he liked). When I threatened to put him in a corner and not talk to him for 20 minutes, he was really upset, and I pointed out that it was meant to be a punishment, not a funishment. He didn’t like that.
Have you found your dominance has changIs spanking or corporal punishment a part of your dominance? Why or why not?
Richard: Jayden gets a maintenance spanking most Sundays. She gets occasional spankings, canings, etc. when she deserves it as well. We generally try to do punishment directly related to whatever rule she broke, partially because it’s more effective, and partially because she enjoys pain too much for it to be much of a deterrent.
Jayden: I like spanking for play, but not so much as a punishment, and that goes for both my submission and my Domination.