Acceptance by Jayden

Each month, Richard and I are going to journal about a different word, inspired by Marquessa Matthews. This month is Acceptance.


I have struggled with acceptance of who I am my entire life. From my weight (too high) to my height (too short) to my kinks (too extreme) to my sexuality (too broad), I have never been able to accept myself for who I am.

I have worked hard to change that. I am blessed to have a partner (Richard) who believes in me, accepts me (and loves me) for who I am, and supports me to support myself. I don’t know how or why, but I have begun to accept myself for who I am. I have tried for a long time, but it’s clicking now, pieces falling into place. I am accepting myself as I am and changing the things about me that I don’t like (within reason, of course). How about you? Do you accept yourself as you are?

TMI Tuesday: February 7th, 2023

The author of TMI Tuesday has decided to end her reign, but we have decided to continue on, going back to the archives. In fact, this day in 2012 was also a Tuesday. So here we are with an archived set of questions.

1. A friend is coming to have sex. There are 3 twin beds and an air mattress in the room. What do you do? (choose one)
a. Have sex where ever we land first, who needs a bed?
b. Have sex on a single twin mattress
c. Have sex on an air mattress
d. Or? (tell us your solution)

Jayden: (d) Push the twin beds together!

Richard: Yeah. How is this even a question?

2. What is the oddest thing you have in your bedroom that someone would be surprised to find. Why is it there?

Jayden: I don’t know if I have anything truly odd. It’s clothes, books, sex toys (which I guess some people would be surprised by, but no one here), jewelry,…

Richard: Jayden has creepy jewelry box that looks like it would possess you if you took anything from it.

3. What are your favorite sheets?
a. Flannel
b. Cotton
c. T-shirt cotton (jersey)
d. Satin

Jayden: I love flannel, but I sleep too hot. I also love Jersey, but same thing. So… cotton.


4. Do you sleep with sheets tucked in or out? Why?

Jayden: I used to sleep with them tucked in, but Richard hates it and I don’t care, so we sleep with them tucked out.

Richard: I tuck them under my feet sometimes.

5. What is your usual bedtime? Why?
a.  8-10 pm
b. 10-12 midnight
c.  12-24
d. Whenever my eyes won’t stay open any longer.

Jayden: (a) Usually around 9:30 on a work night, but (b) on the weekends.

Richard: Is C literally anytime between noon and midnight?

5. Do you sleep with closet door(s) shut or open? Bedroom door shut or open? Any particular reason why?

Jayden: We don’t have a bedroom door and the closet door hides where the litter box is, so that door has to stay open.

Richard: So the monster hiding in the closet can see us bang.

6. Have you ever broken a bed or other furniture during sex?

Jayden: My old bed was broken, but I don’t know if that happened during sex or not. Probably?

Richard: I feel like I damaged an old chair or something when I was in college.

7. What’s your favorite type of bed for sex?

Jayden: Soft, but not memory foam for sex.

Richard: I want to try a hammock. It probably won’t work well.

8. What do you sleep in?
a. Lingerie
b. Underwear
c. Day clothes
d. T-shirt
e. Nothing

Jayden: (e) Nothing. I hate sleeping in clothes.

Richard: Usually a pair of boxers. I used to sleep naked, but I scratch in my sleep sometimes.


TMI Tuesday along with us: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Determined Dominatrix – Chapter 5

Welcome back to Chapter 5 of my Dominatrix Series! Be sure to go back to Chapter 1 if you need to catch up. It’s a lot of fun! In Chapter 4, it started to get steamy. Just wait for Chapter 5!

Chapter 5:

He is whimpering in the cage beneath me, and I just want to take him out and make him serve me, but I know that’s not what he needs. And honestly, I need some distance from him. My orgasm did help take the edge off of my arousal, but not enough. I need more.

I get out the violet wand and set it up. I ensure that I’m setting it up where he can see it so he gets a preview of what’s coming.

I shock my hand to make sure it’s working properly and on the settings I want. A tingle spreads through my hand and arm. I smile as he whimpers louder.

“Mistress, what are you going to do with that?”

I give him a slow blink. “What do you think I’m going to do with it, pet?”

“I-I don’t know,” he stammers. But we both know what I’m going to do with it. It’s fun to shock him in a space where he can’t escape.

I slide my hand through the wide set bars and tap the wand against his arm.

He moans and starts crying, a steady stream of, “Mistress, please, why are you doing this, Mistress? I want to be your good boy!” and other appeals to my good nature to stop shocking him.

But I don’t stop. I keep going, working my way around his writhing body, his arms, his legs, his back. I want to get his dick, but he’s making sure to keep his hips at an angle so I can’t.

“Pet,” I say, stopping the shocks for a moment.

His breath is heaving as he rolls so he can see me through the bars. “Y-yes, Mistress?”

“I want you to start masturbating, pet.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he says, and he positions himself so he can stroke his cock. He has to shift so that his cock is more accessible to me, and I know he knows what’s coming next.

“Spread your legs more, pet. I want to see your balls.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he says, and I can see he’s bracing his legs against the sides of the cage, and he’s whimpering loudly while he strokes his cock.

I slide the wand between the bars again and tap it lightly against his inner thigh. He screams but doesn’t stop masturbating. I tap his other thigh. He screams again.

And then the shot, right against his balls. I can see the tears streaming down his face and hear his screams, but I can also see that he’s stroking his cock faster now.

“I want you to cum, pet. I’ll turn off the violet wand when you cum.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he says, and he squeezes his eyes shut as he strokes even faster, willing himself to cum.

I shock his thighs again and again, shocking his balls every few hits. He keeps crying and screaming and moaning and stroking.

“I’m going to cum, Mistress. Can I cum, please, Mistress?”

I let a few beats pass before I give him my permission. “Yes, pet, cum for your Mistress.”

And he does. It’s almost instantaneous. I wonder if he was so far gone that he would have cum with or without my permission. He probably would have.

Cum coats his chest in long lines as he takes big gulping breaths. I can see that he’s relaxing as the cum coats his chest, and I give him one more longer zap with the violet wand as cum shoots from his balls.

Thanks for reading Chapter 5! Come back next Friday to see what our Mistress has in store for her pet next. Don’t forget TMI Tuesday every Tuesday and our weekly Wednesday posts!

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group #IWSG

The Insecure Writer's Support Group

If you’d like to chime in and let us know your answers to the questions or drop a link to your post if you’re participating, please do so in the comments! And check out the IWSG website for more answers!

February 1st question – If you are an Indie author, do you make your own covers or purchase them? If you publish trad, how much input do you have about what goes on your cover?

Jayden: I’ve designed all of my own covers.

From left to right, in the order I designed them. The first novel I published, Slave, I took off the market. It needs some editing just because I’ve learned a lot in the years since I published it. I also have different feelings about the title, but since the main character is only ever given that name (in a kink context), it would require a total rewrite. But, fun fact, the person on that cover is me.

The sneakers on Runaway are also mine. (In retrospect, at least when it’s small, it’s hard to read the “A choose your own erotic novel by” part.

The last one is also a picture I took. The rest were ones I purchased online.

I have a minimal amount of graphic design knowledge, and since I’m just publishing for fun, I’ve decided that although the covers would be better done by a professional, they’re fine for my <$5 novels. My first pinned post has the purchase links for all available books if you’re interested.

What makes a good book cover for you?

#Bloganuary 31

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

Where is the best place to watch the sunset near you?

Jayden: We live in a valley, so it’s hard to have a good place to watch the sunset near the bottom of the valley, but there are some cool places to watch it up in the mountains. I think Camp is my favorite place, currently.

TMI Tuesday: January 31st, 2023

The author of TMI Tuesday has decided to end her reign, but we have decided to continue on, going back to the archives. In fact, January 24th in 2012 was also a Tuesday. So here we are with an archived set of questions.

Super Bowl Sunday Celebration

(or any sports party)

Even if their team is not going to the Super Bowl, millions of people love an excuse to party. So party we will. Tell us what your ideal Super Bowl Celebration (or any sports party) looks like by answering:

1. What’s your favorite _____ that you’ll serve at the party (name one item for each):
a. choice of beer
b. choice of wine
c. choice of distilled spirit
d. choice of mixed drink
e. choice of chip
f. choice of dip
g. choice of take-out food (pizza, burgers, Chinese food, wings, etc)
h. choice of homemade food
i. choice of salty food
j. choice of sweet food

Jayden: none, something sweet, uhh, fuzzy navel, low-salt chips, onion dip, pizza, meatballs, popcorn (with butter), cake

Richard: Pre-Budwiser Rolling Rock, Dante’s, Scotch, Amaretto Sour, home made, salsa con queso, Thai, bread, pretzels, ice cream.

2. What will you wear at the party?

Jayden: Something cute and a little sexy. Maybe a shorter skirt.

Richard: Nothing. I only like no-pants-parties.

3. You will be having your very own half time show at the football party. What is that half-time show? Briefly describe.

Jayden: I’d be singing, probably. Maybe Richard and I would do a duet.

Richard: Muppets.

4. What team do you wish was playing in the Super Bowl?

Jayden: I don’t care.

Richard: Packers.

5. The Philadelphia Eagles and the Kansas City Chiefs are in Super Bowl 2023, who do you want to win?  (ummm…yeah, I had to google that info…LOL)

Jayden: Eagles. It’ll make my mom happy.

Richard: Eagles.

Bonus: Have you ever made a football (or Super Bowl) bet that involved sex? Tell us about your own Super Bowl of Sex.

Jayden: I haven’t, but that sounds like fun. I would do that. (Actually, maybe? I think there was once a football bet of spanking based on which team lost. It was between my ex and one of our partners, so I wasn’t fully involved.)

Richard: No, but I guess it’d make it more interesting.

Bonus Bonus: Will you watch the Super Bowl? Do you even care about the Super Bowl? American football at all? What’s your can’t live without sport?

Jayden: Nope. Nope. Nope. And none. *shrug*

Richard: Maybe? A little. Not particularly. Curling.


TMI Tuesday along with us: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

#Bloganuary 30

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

What would you title the chapters of your autobiography?


  • Chapter 1: Urban Life – A Lesson in Making Friends
  • Chapter 2: Suburban Life – A Lesson in Teenage Drama
  • Chapter 3: College – A Lesson in Real Urban Life
  • Chapter 4: First Marriage – A Lesson in Growing Up
  • Chapter 5: Freedom – A Lesson in Finding Myself
  • Chapter 6: Second Marriage – A Lesson in Balance

#Bloganuary 29

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

What is something you learned recently?

Jayden: I learned that I can stay calm in a medical emergency. Richard sliced his finger open yesterday pretty badly. He handled it very well, his first aid training kicking in no problem, but mine did, too, which surprised me. Five stitches later, he’s doing just fine, but the amount of blood was a little intimidating.

#Bloganuary 28

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

Describe your perfect birthday cake.

Jayden: Something vanilla. Light and fluffy. I love whipped icing. And no blue dyes that will turn my tongue funny colors.

#Bloganuary 27

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

What are the pros and cons of procrastination?

Jayden: Pros: I work well under pressure, so sometimes I can do my best quality work when I procrastinate.

Cons: I spend a lot of time being anxious and frustrated with myself.

Determined Dominatrix – Chapter 4

Welcome back! This is Chapter 4 of my Dominatrix Series. Be sure to go back to Chapter 1 to catch up if you haven’t read the other chapters yet. It’s getting steamy now!

Chapter 4:

He is already moving toward the pillow where he usually lays at the beginning of our sessions to tell me about his week. But since this isn’t our usual session, I pull the leash short. I hear him grunt as the collar pulls at his neck.

“I didn’t tell you to go to your pillow, pet.”

“I’m sorry, Mistress. Where would you like me to be?”

“In the cage,” I say, leading him over to the large black cage. The top of it is made of a large cushion of fake leather. Once inside, he can’t see what’s happening on top.

He crawls in backward because once he’s inside, he won’t be able to turn around. He waits on all fours as I unclip his leash.

“Good boy,” I say, and then I close the door and put the lock on.

He immediately starts whimpering, sounding very much like the puppy he likes to pretend to be.

“What’s wrong, pet?” I tease.

“I want to be close to you, Mistress,” he says.

“I know you do, pet,” I say, “and I promise you will be, but first, I want to put you in your place for a bit.”

“I know my place, Mistress. It’s at your feet, serving you, doing anything you want.”

It’s comical how little he seems to understand how our relationship works. If he did everything I wanted, he’d be between my legs all the time. But instead, he’s locked in a cage because right at the moment, I am very wound up from thinking about what this evening was going to entail, and I can’t stand the thought of him being near me and not making me orgasm. I am determined not to break my own rules.

He resumes his whimpering when I don’t reply right away. I climb up on top of the cage and lean down, putting my hand through the bars. He begins to kiss it, lick it, suck on my fingertips, whimpering the whole time.

“Good boy,” I say, pulling my hand back, slick with his saliva. I roll onto my back and slide my fingers down under my thong. I can feel how swollen my clit is already, and I haven’t even done anything.

“Mistress?” he asks.

“Yes, pet?”

“What can I do for you, Mistress?”

“You can stay in your cage like a good boy.”

“Of course, Mistress. I have no choice but to stay in my cage. You locked me in, Mistress.”

“I did,” I say, and I feel my pussy clench in arousal as I say it. I love knowing he’s locked up and can’t do anything about it. I am tempted to make him stay with me. If I keep him locked in the cage, he can’t go to school and move away from me. But that’s silly. I can’t do that. I wouldn’t do that. That would be crossing so many lines.

“Mistress, how long are you going to keep me locked up away from you?”

Until I cum at least once, I think, but I don’t say that out loud. “As long as I want to, bitch.”

“Yes, Mistress,” he says, and he whimpers again. I can hear him moving around, and I know that he’s settling himself on the bottom of the cage, arranging the pillows to make himself comfortable.

I rub at my clit slowly at first but with increasing desperation as my orgasm rises inside me. I try to keep quiet about it, not wanting him to know what I’m doing, but I’m sure he does. I close my eyes and picture my pet looking up at me from between my legs. It’s such an arousing mental picture that I go crashing over the edge into orgasm, my pussy spasming, my fingers rubbing, my whole body tingling. When I’m done, I slide my fingers along my slit, and they’re soaking wet.

I take deep breaths, listening to my pet do the same from the cage beneath me. I know he wants to ask what I’m doing, but he won’t ask again.

“Lick my fingers, pet,” I say, rolling over and slipping my dripping wet fingers through the bars. I’ve never done this with him before. I’ve never cum when he was in the room.

I hear him shifting so he can reach my fingers, and then I hear him moan when he realizes what’s on them. He licks them until they’re clean of my juices, and then he says, “Thank you, Mistress, oh god, thank you.” He starts sucking lightly on my fingertips again, but I know they’re clean now. I can only imagine how good it would feel if I let him lick my clit instead of my fingers, but I’ve already pushed my rules too far. I need to stop.

Thanks for reading Chapter 4! Come back next Friday for Chapter 5, and don’t forget TMI Tuesday every Tuesday and something special every Wednesday!

#Bloganuary 26

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

What language do you wish you could speak?

Jayden: Spanish. I’m tongue tied so it’s literally impossible for me to roll my Rs, so I stayed away from Spanish when I was young. Now I’m struggling to learn.

Richard: Honestly, probably German. A few of my friends speak it, and it’s useful in several of the hobby communities I’m in.

What’s Good Wednesday? 1/25/23

What’s Good Wednesday?

We did this long ago, but we decided to bring back and a once-a-month chance to share what’s going well in our lives, and welcome you to share what’s good in your lives! Please comment below and let us know what’s good! Feel free to be vague or specific. We’re just happy to share good things!

It’s the end of January, thank goodness! This has been a very stressful month that was looming over us before and during. We’re so glad to be almost done with it and onto the next thing! We’ve been able to spend some much-needed time catching up on cleaning and organizing, and enjoying down time together.

We’ve done some fun things this month like:

  • Visit a knife store
  • Go to the drive-in movies
  • Have a reading date
  • Have of great sex

I’m sure there’s more, but it’s a start to reflect back on! What’s gone well for you this month?

TMI Tuesday: January 24th, 2023

The author of TMI Tuesday has decided to end her reign, but we have decided to continue on, going back to the archives. In fact, January 24th in 2012 was also a Tuesday. So here we are with an archived set of questions.

Would you rather…?

I [the original TMI Tuesday author] am a Graham Norton fan. He has a newish show called “Would You Rather” that airs on BBC America (you know the Top Gear-Gordon Ramsay channel…ugh!!). I grabbed these fun questions from WYR.

1. Would you rather wear the same pair of unwashed socks for 2 years or wear the same pair of unwashed underwear for 1 year? Explain.

Jayden: Socks. At least they’re further away from my nose. I’m a sloppy slut most of the time, so my underwear would be awful.

Richard: Socks. At least I can change my sock liner.

2. Would you rather eat a baby or be eaten by a giant baby? Explain.

Jayden: I’d rather not get eaten, thank you very much. Plus, I mean, veal is good…

Richard: Veal is ok, but I’m more of a lamb guy.

3. Would you rather steal money from your Grandfather in the past or steal money from a Grandchild in the future? Why?

Jayden: My grandfather had a lot of money, so I would steal from him. (He was generous with it, so it was never even a consideration, but he wouldn’t miss it.)

Richard: My grandfather on my dad’s side had hundreds of dollars stashed around the house. The junk company found it when they cleaned out. I’ll just take some of that, he obviously didn’t miss it.

4. Would you rather be trapped in a cave full of vampire bats or put a large jar full of bees (opened) in your pants?

Jayden: Bats! Bats aren’t as bad as their reputation.


5. Would you rather be a person with a head that is noticeably big for your body or have a head that is disproportionately small compared to the rest of your body?

Jayden: Small head. It’s always easier to find things to put on smaller body parts than larger ones.

Richard: I would like a large lower head. Sorry, not sorry, Jayden’s holes.

Bonus (not from WYR): Would you rather have sex with your significant other in a sex club with all eyes and a spotlight on you OR would you rather get gang-banged & groped in darkness by a bunch of strangers.

Jayden: Oh jeeze. Both?

Richard: The first one. I don’t mind putting on a show. I don’t think I’d like getting gangbanged. Groped is good though.


TMI Tuesday along with us: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

#Bloganuary 23

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

What’s a lie you tell yourself?

Jayden: That I’m going to have more time someday. I don’t know how to do down time, so I always fill it with things. But at least now I fill it with things (and people) I love instead of fill it to run away from something.

#Bloganuary 22

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

What was your dream job as a child?

Jayden: For a brief time, I wanted to be a marine biologist. But mostly, I wanted to be a teacher. There was, of course, also the times I wanted to be a famous musician, or better yet, wanted my dad to be a famous musician so I would get the money but not have to do the work. 😉 (Plus it was my dad’s dream, so I wanted it for him.)

Richard: Also marine biologist (same as everyone). I was briefly obsessed with specifically being a paperback writer due to the Beatles song.

#Bloganuary 21

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

Who is your favorite author and why?

Jayden: Mary Higgins Clark. She is the queen of mystery! I was introduced to her when my grandmother passed away and my mom handed me Stillwatch from my grandmother’s closet. It was a book from her TBR (to be read) pile. I fell in love with this powerful female author who was everything I wanted to be. To this day, she’s the only author I collect novels for, and I have a good portion of them. She is phenomenal.

Richard: I’m really bad at these questions. It turns into a philosophical, “but what does favorite mean?” thing. I think we’ve had this come up before and I’ve thrown out Naomi Novik, KA Applegate, and maybe Kim Harrison once? Let’s go with Michael Stackpole today. While I (like every other millennial) has a “remember when you found Animorphs?” story (Borders? or a bookstore that would soon become one, Oxford Valley Mall, 1997, book #7 The Stranger) I think Stackpole is probably the most important author for my overall development as a reader/writer.

It’s a twisty, nerdy road. I don’t really remember a time before I was a Star Wars fan as a kid. My dad brought a demo disk for TIE Fighter home (probably circa 1994, based on the release date) and I was already really into it. That would also be the year that the Battletech cartoon came out. I maintain that it is a far better show than it’s generally given credit for. As a 5 year old, the fact that it had giant robots and something resembling a coherent plot made it the best thing ever. (These will converge eventually, I swear.)

The next year, 1995 (again, guesstimating based on the release date), my dad proudly came back to the car (where I was probably reading something considerably less cool than Animorphs or a Michael Stackpole book) with a copy of Mechwarrior 2. He (correctly) realized that anything with the Battletech logo on it would obviously be awesome. I think he also played the demo and probably saw that it won every freaking video game award that year. Or one of his German gamer friends told him to play it. That was how we got a bunch of game recs back in the day.

Fast forward to probably 1997, when my dad got a copy of The Krytos Trap from the library. I liked it (but, again, I’d have liked just bout anything Star Wars at that point.) Around the same time, we also got a copy of a strategy guide for Mechwarrior 2. As I recall, it was not a terribly useful strategy guide (aiming and driving at the same time is hard for an 8 year old!) But this was back in the good old days when strategy guides would have all kinds of cool behind the scenes stuff. So the first 50 pages or so were less about the game, and more about the history of Battletech, including book recommendations. Stackpole’s Warrior trilogy came highly recommended (with good reason, it’s probably the best thing he wrote in the setting.)

So off we went to the library, to use those old school loud keyboards with the plastic couch protectors on them. While they didn’t have the Warrior books they did have the Rogue Squadron (fuck you Disney!) series. I’m pretty sure those were the first “adult” books I read. That’s mostly true, I think I tried to read War of The Worlds in like 3rd grade. It didn’t go very well.

I found a ton of my other favorite authors via the Star Wars EU and Battletech series. Looking back, it’s kind of weird to see how all the pieces fell together (Star Wars>Battletech Cartoon>Mechwarrior>Strategy Guide>Rogue Squadron>Battletech Books…) None of them are that odd. I was a nerdy boy in the 90s, of course I liked Star Wars. But it was an interesting and meandering road. A few of those authors are still publishing today, and the ones that aren’t are always a gem when they pop up at a used bookstore. I am glad that I fell down the Battletech side of the rabbit hole instead of the 40K one. (Otherwise, this post would probably be about Dan Abnett. Who is fine, I guess.)

Anyway, I’d say Stackpole has a strong claim to the “best military sci-fi media tie-in” author title. How impressive this is is up to you. I remember finding his website back when I was in high school, and a lot of his advice for writers is really good. Don’t edit until you’re done a draft. Start with interesting characters and let them drive the story. I think balance is really his biggest strength as an author. Finding the ratio between political intrigue (giving your new wife a china set of all the planets you’re going to conquer as a wedding gift? YES!) personal drama, humor (again, FUCK YOU DISNEY!) and mech/starfighter battles isn’t easy. He gets his explosions wrong sometimes, but we forgiven him.

#Bloganuary 20

Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!

What irritates you about the home you live in??

Jayden: We have a loft apartment, so there is no bedroom door and the walls don’t go all the way up, so there’s no privacy.

Richard: There’s no utility sink.