Jayden: Trading Up Chapter 1 (Part 2)

Last week, I shared the first part of Chapter 1 of my Novella: Trading Up. Enjoy the second part here! I look forward to sharing Chapter 2 with you next week!

Chapter 1 (Part 2):

I feel prickles of anticipation on my skin just before I hear the door. He’s here. My soon-to-be-ex. It has to be him. We’ve sent the kids away, so it couldn’t be anyone else. That’s why I was so sure it was him when Brandon walked in.

“Hello?” he calls from the doorway.

I climb out of Nick’s lap and bring the soon-to-be-ex back into the living room. I’ll spare you the details of the conversation. I try really hard not to yell. I get frustrated more than once. And then finally, he says he’ll get his stuff and leave, and this time, I’m not stopping him. I can’t count the number of times he’s said he would get his stuff and leave, and I told him, “no.” But this time, I say, “I think that would be the best thing. I’ve already gathered it up for you.”

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TMI Tuesday 1/11/2021

DEEP THINK

1. First question relates to the photo above–what is it?

Jayden: Uhh, I’m torn between grapefruit and salmon.

Richard: I’m going to say shrimp or salmon. That white fluffy part looks kinda shrimpy.

2. Should we be signalling our existence to alien life? Why?

Jayden: After 2020, we should just lay low and not tempt there to be more shenanigans.

Richard: Obligatory, “I’m a smut writer, not a scientist” disclaimer. Yes, but only because it’s a moot point. We can barely make it to the moon, but we can look for life in other galaxies. We’ve been blasting signals into the cosmos for decades already, and will most likely continue to get “louder” even if we’re not specifically trying to signal. It seems like anyone advanced enough to actually get here from however many light years away won’t have a problem finding us.

3. What is one thing you do not understand about yourself?

Jayden: I don’t understand … I don’t know. I don’t understand how other people see me the way they do.

Richard: How I’ve managed to make it this far mostly intact and successfully.

4. What weird food combinations do you really enjoy?

Jayden: I like a little bit of mayo on meatball sandwiches. (A bit of mayo, meatballs, parmesan cheese, American cheese, and marinara sauce.) Try it. Trust me.

Richard: Chocolate ice cream on apple pie. My grandfather liked it, and supposedly almost got refused by a server once over it. It’s tasty, and it’s a nice way to remember him.

5. What are two of your go-to strategies to help make big decisions?

Jayden: Journaling and therapy. God I love therapy.

Richard: Lists and thinking way too long after I’ve already made my mind up.

Bonus: How replaceable are you?

Jayden: Oh, well, this is a question that pokes at my insecurities. I think I’m easily replaceable. In fact, I’ve been replaced many times over in relationships. I’m grateful to have some partners now who tell me otherwise, but it’s probably my biggest worry.

Richard: My brain says completely, but my fingers don’t want to type it. I guess not at all? If someone else asked me if they were replaceable, I’d say, “no, no one else is as good at being you as you,” (I think that’s a Sesame Street lyric) so I’m going to try to be as kind to myself as I would someone else.

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Audio Collab

Happy Saturday everybody! This week’s collab is a recording of a script Jayden wrote for me. I used to love doing these back in college, but I’d gotten away from it, and it was fun to try again. Let us know how you like it, and if this is something you’d like to hear more of. See you all on Tuesday!

Sorry for being such a tease.

Jayden: Trading Up Chapter 1

I have a tendency to get hooked on a song and have it stuck in my head for days (or sometimes weeks). Recently, I got Maroon 5’s Maps stuck in my head. I listened to it on repeat for a day or two before I really let the words sink in. I imagine many of you know what I’m talking about when I say that I knew all the words, but hadn’t really thought about their meaning. And then it hit me. What the fuck is the narrator doing?

If you’re curious to hear the song before I share my thoughts, here it is:

To summarize the story in the song, the narrator is asking where “you” went and why “you” weren’t there for him when he needed you. And yet, he’s still following the map that leads to “you.” Why follow someone who’s hurt you so much? This passage in particular speaks to me:

I was there for you
In your darkest times
I was there for you
In your darkest nights
But I wonder where were you?
When I was at my worst
Down on my knees
And you said you had my back
So I wonder where were you?

https://www.musixmatch.com/lyrics/Maroon-5/Maps

I had a very similar relationship recently. I have a distinct memory of being down on my knees sobbing while this particular person turned and walked away. I was grateful in that moment to have other partners there to support me, including one who literally picked me up off the floor and held me while I cried.

So, in November, I wrote the novella I’m going to share with you over the next 10-ish weeks. It is my imagining of how that relationship was going to end. I was WAY off base in a lot of ways, but I am happy to say that it’s over now, and I have moved on to much better and healthier relationships. And reality has turned out to be so much better than I could have foretold.


Chapter 1:

Tonight is the night. The night for what, you ask? For the end. Or the beginning. Or both, maybe. There’s a saying, right, that’s something like, “Every moment is the first moment of the rest of your life.”

Well, that’s this moment for me. It’s definitely going to be a turning point. Everything will be different from this point on. Maybe it will be better. Probably it will be better. Definitely it will be better.

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TMI Tuesday

Whew! We made it out of 2020. Thank you to Corrupting Mrs. Jones blog for this week’s TMI Tuesday questions.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2021

1. What was the best part of your holiday season?

Jayden: Spending it with some very good new friends. ❤

Richard: Getting to try goose for the first time!

2. Did you have the opportunity to get down and dirty over the holidays? Please share.

Jayden: Oh yes. Several times, in fact. It was a little unexpected. Maybe it will be a blog post. What do you think, Richard?

Richard: I want to know how you didn’t expect to “get down and dirty” when you had me over for as many nights as you did. Honestly, I think we came in under par.

Jayden: But you weren’t supposed to stay over as many times as you did!

3. You receive a gift from a family member that is exactly what you DID NOT want. Do you:
a. Smile politely and bin it at the first opportunity?
b. Say thank you and re-gift it next year?
c. Do some detective work and return it at the first opportunity?
d. Try and tactfully suggest something more appropriate for next time?

Jayden: Either b or c. If I can return it, I will, but I will be polite and say thank you, of course!

Richard: C. Most stores will take anything without a receipt this time of year, as long as it’s in their system, so it’s really not much detective work.

4. Sex toys as gifts yea or nay? Was there a time when you unexpectedly opened something R-rated in front of your family? Tell us about it.

Jayden: Sure! If it’s for a partner or close friend. I have never opened something R-rated in front of my family though. My friends and partners know better than to give me something like that at the wrong time.

Richard: I feel like a partner must’ve gotten me something to use with/on them at some point, but I honestly can’t remember a specific time. Either way, totally fine with it. My partners have all been good about keeping my gifts in front of family to a soft PG. So far…

5. What is the best present your significant other has given you?

Jayden: Love. Attention. Time. Things are nice (and I love the jewelry and flowers I’ve received), but having quality time means so much.

Richard: Going off what Jayden said: Family. I don’t come from the healthiest family, and the holidays have been pretty rough for me for the last decade or so. Being able to spend the holidays somewhere happy, where everyone doesn’t spend the whole time screaming at each other, walking on eggshells, or trying to escape, is the best gift.

Bonus:  Share your New Year’s resolution(s) or reasons why you do not make them.

Jayden: Well, we shared our writing resolutions on New Year’s Day, so I’ll still with that. I didn’t make any others.

Richard: I do a lot of goal setting throughout the year, but I usually skip out on New Year’s resolutions. With all the holidays and craziness, I’d rather wait for things to settle and start a new goal in February.

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New Year’s Double Post

           Welcome to our first collaborative blog! Back in November, we both needed an idea for something to write, so. Together, we came up with a prompt, and each wrote our own story. We decided for our first post together, we would give you a special DOUBLE story post. Jayden’s is first, and then Richard’s. Let us know if you have a favorite! We’re going to do different things for our collaborative stories. Feel free to comment with suggestions!

Catch Me If You Can!

            “I don’t want to leave,” Lisa says quietly.
            Anthony tucks her long hair behind her ear. “I don’t want to take you home.”
            But the unspoken thing between them is that it’s an eventuality that has to happen. It’s unfortunate, but Anthony needs to go home for the holidays, and Lisa works in a job where she sees a lot of people. The responsible thing to do is to have some distance for two weeks before Anthony goes home. It’s a hard thing to do, but it’s necessary to keep Anthony’s family safe.
            Standing in the doorway to the car, Lisa plucks the car keys from Anthony’s pocket and sticks them in her bra. “Well, now you don’t have the keys, so you can’t take me home.” She giggles and takes a step back from him, darting away before he can catch her. She runs through the yard, giggling.
            Anthony smiles and gives her a slight head start before chasing after her, but with his longer legs, he has no trouble catching up to her. He picks her up and throws her over his shoulder.
            She squeals with laughter, and he smacks her ass hard. Her squeal becomes a moan, and Anthony is glad he lives on a side road and isn’t likely to have many people around. He smacks her again, which elicits another delicious moan.
            “If you don’t stop moaning in my ear, I’m going to fuck you right here, right now.”
            “If you don’t stop smacking my ass, I’m not going to stop moaning,” Lisa counters.
            Anthony smacks her again, and she moans in his ear. “Well, then I guess I’m just going to have to fuck you right here,” he says.
            “You wouldn’t.”
            “Why not?”
            “Because what if someone sees?” she hisses at him.
            He shrugs. “Who’s going to see?”
            There are a handful of houses where someone could see if they looked out of the window, and certainly if a car drove down the street, but that was unlikely.
            He puts Lisa down next to the car and pushes her up against it, gripping her by the throat. It probably looks terrible if a passerby sees, but he’s holding her very carefully, making sure not to cut off too much of her air supply. She is like putty in his hands once he does that, and she nearly melts into a puddle on the pavement.
            “That’s my little slut,” Anthony says.
            Her moan is almost a purr.
            Anthony pushes her skirt up around her waist and rips her panties right off her body, throwing them on the ground. He unzips his jeans and pulls his cock out of his boxers.
            “On your knees,” he says, and he winds his hand into her hair, pushing her down so she’s eye level with his cock. He’s semi-hard already, but with her capable hands guiding him to her mouth, he’s rock hard almost instantly.
            She pushes him into her mouth and takes him as deep as she can. She can’t go balls deep because he’s too big, but she takes him down as much as she can.
            He starts to fuck her mouth, pulling her by her hair. She moans around his cock. “You’re a good little cum slut, aren’t you?”
            She mumbles some kind of affirmative response.
            “You want to go home tonight with my cum dripping out of you, don’t you?”
            Another affirmative muffled response.
            “Well that can be arranged,” Anthony says. He pulls her off his cock and turns her around. “Put your hands on the car. We wouldn’t want you to fall over, now would we?”
            “No, Sir,” she whispers.
            She puts her hands on the car as directed. Anthony sweeps her long hair to one side so he can expose her neck. He leans down and pulls the collar of her shirt down a few inches. His lips touch the back of her neck and work down to the skin he just exposed. His teeth sink into her muscle there, and she moans and thrusts her ass back toward him. “Patience, little slut,” he says.
            “Yes, Sir,” she said in a moan.
            He pushes her skirt back up around her waist and slips his cock into her waiting cunt. She’s dripping wet, and he slides in easily, but this isn’t what he has in mind ultimately. He thrusts a few times, and she’s starting to get into it when he pulls out. She wiggles her hips, trying to find his cock, and then pouts that she can’t find it. “Stop it,” he says, smacking her ass.
            She stills in front of him and presses her upper body against the car, pushing her ass out further but not wiggling it at him anymore.
            “Good girl,” he says as he takes a step back and leans over her ass, parting her cheeks. He licks a sloppy line along her crack, tonguing her hole a bit. Then he stands up and slides his cock along the same path.
            She’s tight, and he’s large, but he manages to get a few inches in on the first push. Then he pulls back a little and goes again. He gets in further. A third time and he’s all the way in. He presses in until his balls are resting on her ass.
            He bites her shoulder again on the other side, giving her a matching mark. She moans and pushes back against him with her ass.
            “You little anal slut,” he growls in her ear.
            “Yes, Sir,” she groans.
            “But stop. I’m not going to hurt you in a bad way, but I will unintentionally if you keep that up.
            “Yes, Sir,” she whines, but she stays still.
            It is very tempting to start fucking her fast, but Anthony knows that it would hurt her.
            He wraps one arm around her throat, pulling her to a standing position, his cock still deep inside her ass. Then he pulls his hips back and starts to fuck her. She tries to keep her hands on the car to hold herself up, but she can’t reach from this position, and it doesn’t matter because he’s holding her up. She couldn’t fall if she wanted to.
            His cock slides in and out of her ass, never leaving completely. She wants him to go faster, but she tries to stay as still as possible, giving him the control she knows he has.
            “I’m going to cum,” he grunts in her ear.
            “Please, Sir,” she groans.
            “Do you want your ass filled with cum?”
            “Yes, Sir,” she says, a little breathless.
            “You want to feel my cum dripping out of your ass nice and slowly, don’t you?”
            “Yes, Sir,” she repeats.
            “You’re such a little cum slut,” he growls.
            “Yes, I am. Such a cum slut, Sir.”
            “I bet you would eat the cum out of your own ass if you could.”
            She groans and says, “Yes, god, yes, I would.”
            “You’re such a good girl,” he says. “A good little cum slut.”
            She groans and would collapse if he weren’t holding her up. And when his free hand reaches around her and presses against her clit, she explodes almost instantly. Her moans turn to screams, and he presses his arm harder on her throat to silence her. Her breath turns raspy, but her screams quiet.
            “Someone was a little wound up,” Anthony whispers in her ear.
            “Yes, Sir,” she says, but the words barely come out. He takes his fingers off her clit and loosens his grip on her throat.
            But her ass is so tight as she clenched around him in her orgasm that he’s not far behind. A few more thrusts, and he can feel his balls tighten as he shoots spurt after spurt of cum in her ass.
            When he’s spent, he slides out of her.
            His grip loosens so she can turn around and face him.
            “Thank you, Sir,” she says, and she takes his face in her hands and kisses him on the mouth.
                        He deepens the kiss with his tongue, and she opens to him. She moans against his mouth, and then she breaks the kiss and drops to her knees in front of him. His softening cock is still dripping cum. She licks the tip tentatively and then takes the head in her mouth.
            Anthony looks down at her with wonder in his eyes. She’s never sucked his cock after sex, much less anal. It’s hot as hell that she’s doing it now.
            “Are you sure you want to do this?” Anthony asks.
            “Mm hmm,” Lisa replies, not taking her mouth off Anthony’s cock, but looking up at him through her lashes.
            “Oh god,” he groans as she takes more of him into her mouth, her tongue swirling around his cock. “Oh fucking hell.”
            “Do you want me to stop?” she asks, pulling off of him for a moment. She doesn’t wait for a response to pull him back into her mouth. He isn’t getting hard, but he’s still big enough to be a challenge to get him all the way in.
            “No, god, no, please don’t stop,” Anthony says. He reaches out a hand and leans against the car to keep himself from falling.
            Lisa doesn’t stop. She keeps licking and sucking his semi-hard cock until she has combed every millimeter of it with her tongue. And then she sits back on her heels and says, “Is that clean enough for you, Sir?”
            He has to clear his throat to get the words out, “Yes, my little cum slut. Fucking hell, yes.”
            She smiles up at him, and he wants to drag her back into the house for another round. But instead, he takes a deep breath and tucks his cock away. He opens the car door and pushes her inside before she can realize what’s happening. He slips one hand in her bra and takes the key, slipping it back into his pocket.

Keep Away!

            “I can’t just stay here fucking you for the entire quarantine! Neither one of us can work from home if I’m balls deep in you all day,” he said, pulling his keys out of his pocket as he walked towards his car.                       “And you’re not leaving until you fuck me again!” she said, snatching the car keys out of his hand and shoving them in her pocket.
            He glared at her, nostrils doing that flare that told her two things. One, she was in trouble, and two, her panties would need to get changed.
            “Look at those keys, brat,” he said, voice low.
            She glanced between him and the keys for a moment, then took half a step back, looking down at them while trying to shield them with her body.
            “What about them?”
            “Tell me what you see on the ring.” That same voice, she shivered a little, the keys jangling in her grip.
            “Your house key. My house key. Locker key. And car key.”
            “Is the car key a key?”
            “No, it’s one of those fancy electric things, you showed it to me. You just have to get in the car, and it reads it or whatever.”
            “Good. Push the button.”
            She looked up at him for a minute, brattiness and concern for whether she’d have an ass in five minutes struggling on her face.
            “Push the button,” he said again.
            She looked up at him, a mischievous smile starting to curl the corners of her lips, “Make me!”
            He snarled, lunging forward and pinning her to the car. She shoved the keys behind her back, pinning her own hands behind her ass.
            “So help me, if there is a scratch on my car, I’m going to use your hair as a shammy.” He slammed her up against the door, yanking back on her hair at the same time. For a split second, she stared up at him with her mouth open, then his lips were on hers. She moaned as his tongue explored her mouth, only to have the sound drowned out by the growl that rolled up out of his throat.
            Her hand relaxed, nearly dropping the keys, but she caught them with her pinky at the last second. They’d played games like this before, and they never ended well if she dropped what she was supposed to be holding.
            He broke the kiss, putting one arm on her neck and the other on her hip. She shifted the keys over to make sure they were out of reach. He didn’t even go for them, just yanked her back and forth, slamming her against the car hard enough to rock it. And to push the button on the fob. The lights and alarm chirped as the doors unlocked.
            “No,” she moaned, gasping through his choke. “Stay.”
            He reached down, grabbing the door handle and yanking it open.
            “Want to come with me?” he asked her.
            “Yes! I told you this whole quarantine thing was pointless! We both work from ho-glurg,” she gasped as he squeezed her throat again, the other reaching under her ass.
            “I like a little more meat on my subs for fucking, but I do admit you have superior handling,” he said with a little smirk, before tossing her into the car.
            She looked back, eyes wide, mouth panting. “You mean it?”
            “That I like chucking you around, yes,” he said, slamming the door behind him. “Am I taking you home? No. Neither of us would get any work done.”
            “Then what are we-,”
            “Get your pants off, or I’ll cut them off,” he said, unbuckling his own jeans, then reaching over for the glove box. He kept a seat belt cutter in there. He’d shown it to her once when they’d first started playing. He always made sure she was safe.
            With a squeal, she undid her pants, yanking them down and tossing them down on the floor.
            “How do you-”
            “Ass up, face against the window.” He said, climbing over the center console, already hard cock in hand.
            “Yes, Sirrrrrr!” she screamed as he shoved his cock into her before she was really in position. She heard something jangling, craning her head back to try and see what he was doing, but it was no use, she was crushed against the window glass.
            A moment later, she didn’t have to ask. With a rattle and a crack, his belt lashed over her ass, a long red stripe blossoming there. She screamed again, spittle staining the window. He’d make her clean that later too.
            “Shame we don’t have more room,” he said with a grunt, shoving the seatbacks down as much as he could. “No way I can leave a good mark without more windup.”
            He grunted as he hammered her pussy, none of the teasing he usually gave her, just hitting as deep as possible on every stroke, like he was trying to shove her through the door on the opposite side.
            “Fuck… me… Daddy…” she moaned, gasping between thrusts that hit nice and deep.
            “Shut up,” he said, swinging the belt around and threading it between her and the window. She bit down, moaning as loud as she could around the improvised gag.
            “I was going to come over and have a nice dinner. Cuddle you. Tell you I loved you. But you couldn’t have that, you just needed to get used like a fucking cunt, so here you go. I’m going to pound this pussy so you’ll feel it for a week, chuck you out of the car like a cheap hooker, and if you’re lucky, I’ll call you to say goodnight.”
            She wasn’t really processing words at this point, just getting wetter and wetter as he got louder and meaner. She didn’t piss him off like this often. She did love him. But a couple of times a year, it was so worth it.
            She felt her cunt clench down on his cock, belatedly realizing she didn’t have permission to cum. She tried to mumble through the gag, “Mmsadm mdmmd cumm mmmmm?” but it was no use. She screamed out as best as she could, spraying pussy juice all down the length of his cock to splatter his balls.
            “Another mess for when I see you again,” he said. “You’ll spend our first date cleaning this car with your tongue. If you’re lucky, I’ll let you use a toothbrush.”
            He shoved in to the hilt, roaring in her ear as he sprayed her pussy with cum. He leaned there a while, letting the belt drop out of his hand, and her mouth.
            “Do you feel better now, Sir?” she asked. At least as well as she could in the position.
            “I do. Do you still have my keys?”
            “I think I dropped them in the cupholder when you threatened to cut my favorite jeans.”
            He looked down. They were there.
            “Good,” he said, reaching down to open the door, keeping a firm hold on the handle.
            “Seriously? Not even time to pull my pants up.”
            “Nope, just enough to make sure you don’t break that pretty little face,” he said slowly, letting the door swing open more and more.
            She pouted, half stepping, half sliding out of the car, and landing on the grass outside. He slammed the door and hit the starter button, rolling the window down.
            “You clear of the wheels?” he asked.
            “Yes, Sir,” she said, pouting on the ground.
            “I love you. Go clean up. I’ll talk to you later tonight,” he said, then peeled out of the driveway.

            Fucking brats.

Happy New Year! And Some News!!

I know, I know, I’ve been terrible about posting consistently. And even though I don’t always do New Year’s Resolutions, being better about writing and blogging is one that I want to stick to. But it’s one thing to say I want to be better at something this year, it’s another to have a plan for follow through. So I MADE A PLAN!

And my plan includes bringing on a second author as a co-blogger! So, meet Richard: a fellow erotica author who has a very similar writing style. We have started co-writing some pieces, and it’s a lot of fun to write, and it will be even more fun to share.

In addition to making a commitment to writing more consistently, we did two other things to help ensure our success as consistent bloggers.

  1. We made a schedule!
  2. We are taking on the 1,000,000 words in a year challenge together!

Blog Release Schedule

Tuesdays:We will both answer the questions from the TMI Tuesday blog.
Thursdays:Stop by every Thursday for another chapter in Jayden’s current work!
Saturdays:Collaborative Writing – Short stories we write together

1 Million Words!

Our goal is to write a combined total of 1,000,000 words in 2021. So we’re tracking both words we write as individuals and words we write collaboratively. We’ll post around the turn of the month an update with pretty graphs on our progress. We’re both very much looking forward to kicking the other one’s ass at writing half a million words in 2021!

And now, a message from my new co-author: Richard

Hi, everyone. This is Richard, tagging in for a quick intro. Right now, you’ll mostly see me on collab posts with Jayden, but I do have a few pieces that I’ll be polishing up for you to see. No regular schedule for them yet, just a little bonus if you’re good. Jayden’s current piece should run roughly to the end of February, so we’re planning to move up to four posts a week in March. Post number four will either be adding regular solo content from me, or some more nonfiction/traditional blog style posts. I’ll also be helping out on this year’s A to Z in April, so I’ll see you all then.

TMI Tuesday

1. What is the dumbest thing you are reading and writing right now? (uh-huh I know what you’re thinking :p)

Um, writing? I was going to write a really stupid letter, but I think I’m not going to write that now. And other than that, I write a ton of fluff, so that’s maybe stupid, but I don’t think so, and I doubt you do either. As for reading, I’m reading a good novel right now. At least, I hope it’s good. My new boyfriend bought it for me for Christmas, and he likes it, so hopefully I will, too. I’m only a few pages in so far.

2. If you were to start your own country who would sing your national anthem?

Probably me, even though I don’t like singing in public, I’d probably just sing it myself. Plus, no issues with royalties!

3. If you were to be eaten by an animal of your choice (and you will die), what animal will eat you? Why?

A whale. I love them. So like, at least I’d be feeding one.

4. What word makes you smile?

Asparagus. Sorry, it’s an inside joke.

5. What word makes you cringe?

Cupcake. Weird, I know. But it’s a thing. I’ll get over it.

Bonus: Will you board the love train?

Always. Everyone should love lots of people. I’m ALL about love. And in fact, have fallen in love (again) recently. I’m full of love to give and have many people giving me love, so yes, let’s board the love train!

Check out other TMI Tuesday Blogs here!

Comment below if you’re playing along!

The Eve

Most people get excited about October 31st because it’s Halloween. There’s Trick or Treat and Candy galore and costumes and parties…

I get excited because at midnight, I get to start my favorite month of the year. Except this year it’s going to be TOTALLY different. I remember thinking about this night back in March, and how we had to be through this pandemic by then, because how could November come without parties and Thanksgiving dinner and NaNo events and midnight-write-ins and 24-hour marathons and Panera!?

And yet here we are, facing a month of virtual events.

I don’t write well at home. I never have. Too many distractions. If I’m being honest, there may be a lot of evenings spent sitting in the Panera parking lot, crying and missing my friends. But even though 2020 has taken a lot from me and a lot more from many others, it will NOT take NaNoWriMo from me.

So join me in reclaiming November, finding our voices again, and reaching our goals. We write at Midnight.

Vote…vote…for the love of…

Please vote. Please.

I try not be too political here (because I need a mental break for it and I am very political on my personal pages).

But for the love the world, please vote. I won’t even tell you how to vote, because obviously that’s your right to choose. (Though if you have half a brain, you won’t vote for the current power.)

Why should you vote?
Vote for the children.
Vote for the people who don’t look like you (or maybe they do).
Vote for the people who don’t have a voice.
Vote for the people who didn’t make it to the election.

And this is the point where I have to stop writing because I think of the kids separated from their parents, the people who’ve died at the hands of those who were supposed to protect them, the people who’ve had their rights granted and taken away, and face them being taken away again…

Just please go vote.

Only Human

I have a tendency to fall in love with a song and listen to it on repeat until someone wants to murder me. I will often use headphones so no one else has to hear it, except I can’t do that when I’m playing it on the piano and singing.

I fell in love with a song I heard on the radio in just that way, and I purchased the sheet music, and then bought the “album” (of mp3s). I won’t go into my frustrations about not being able to download the ACTUAL song I wanted even though I paid for it, but I’m listening to the rest of the album now and the song (referenced above) is about to be my next obsession.

I highly recommend you give it a listen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEnRa1_arv4

There are parts of it that resonate to the depths of my soul right now. And I am afraid that that might show through in my characters this November. But you know what, maybe it will be cathartic?

What do you listen to while you write?

Ah crap…

Sorry friends. I think you all know the drill. I’m fine, physically. Dealt with some personal relationship shit. Some things are great, and other things are terrible. Writing was just… not possible. I am hoping to turn that around with NaNoWriMo November 1st. We’ll see how it goes.

I have a plan though! I don’t think I have the mental capacity for a novel, but “short” stories I can manage. (Usually my “short” stories end up at 10-20,000 words.) So I think I’m going to try to write a bunch, maybe with some themes.

The theme I was thinking of going for was MFM, because, well, you read my blog…

I am also toying with the idea of writing a series of tragedies. Or at least, temporary tragedies. Relationships ending. Broken hearts. With maybe a touch of hope at the end. That is SO far removed from what I usually write, but it might be a thing.

Anyway, if you want to drop suggestions in the comments for fun threesome scenes, I’m all ears! I’d have fun getting a little inspiration from you all. That was so fun when I did 1,000,000 years ago (I mean…March?). I’m looking forward to getting back into writing. Who else is doing NaNo?

Whoops

I was doing so well at the beginning of June. I had daily posts for a while, even! And then…yeah. It dropped off again. I have no real excuse. I just…get too distracted. I had hoped that being home, I would get more done, but it has definitely been the opposite. It’s really hard for me to focus when I’m at home. I’m constantly going, “Well, there are dishes to do” or “I could be cleaning this” or my child is talking to me or whatever. I always got my best writing done at a restaurant. Well. That ain’t happening. So…I have to figure out how to force myself to get my writing done at home.

And now that we’re in the second half of the year, I can say unequivocally that I will NOT be writing 1,000,000 words in 2020. I’ll blame the pandemic. But, I have written over 200,000 so far, and published two novels! That’s a lot more productive than any other year, so I’m not complaining. I have also gotten a lot done around my house. A lot of cleaning and organizing, and I reached some other personal goals. So all in all, it hasn’t been a bad year in terms of productivity. (And that’s what I’m going to focus on, because the terrible things going on in the world are fucking terrible, and I’ll deal with that on my non-writery social media.)

So, lots of love to my readers and followers. There isn’t enough love in the world, so when you find it, cherish it and share it. ❤

Relaxed

I have been very inspired lately to write about true experiences that are happening for me right now. This has in part been inspired by the Erotic Journal Challenge Prompt for June – Relaxed. So here’s another true story for you:


My alarm goes off at the usual time, and I groan. I was up late last night, and I don’t want to be awake now. I sit up and take my morning pills and decide I’m going back to sleep. It’s my day off, technically. I nestle back under the covers, rubbing my face on the soft, cool pillowcase, and relax back into sleep.

I come out of sleep again to feel your hand on my back. You’re rubbing my stiff muscles, and I drift in and out of sleep for…a while. I’m not sure how long your fingers knead my back, your nails lightly scraping my skin. I feel so relaxed. I never want to move again.

But you know I’m waking up, and I know I don’t have much longer to enjoy your hands on my body. You whisper in my ear, “What do you think of me putting nipple clamps on you while I flog you?”

A rush of heat floods my senses. It sounds painful. “Yes, please.”

“Roll over,” you say.

I do, bracing myself for what I know is going to be a lot. It’s been over a month since you’ve put clamps on my nipples. I’m not used to them. You start with the right one, and I know it’s the more sensitive one. Always has been. I am whimpering as soon as the metal closes over my sensitive bud. The other one goes on more easily, but the longer you kneel over me, looking down at my clamped nipples, the more it hurts. I have nothing to focus on.

“Up on your knees,” you say, and I do what I think you want. I turn so that my ass is facing you, the chain connecting the clover clamps resting on the bed. “No, up,” you say, and you pull me up so that I’m kneeling. You’re so close to me, and thank goodness, because I’m sure I would fall over if you let me go. The chain dangles between my breasts, my big thighs parted. I look down, and for a moment, maybe I see it. Maybe I see what makes you so attracted to me. My breasts are full and firm; the chain rests on my belly. I see the stretch marks, and for once, they don’t bother me. My thighs are big but powerful, and I know I’m going to be dripping on the bed soon with my arousal. For just that moment, I see me the way you see me.

And then all thought is driven from my mind when you hit my ass with the flogger. I’m still a bit sore from our caning a week ago, and the flogger stings. I gasp and my body rocks, the chain pulling on my nipples. My whimpers are constant as you flog me, switching sides halfway through. My nipples hurt so much, but the distraction of the flogger helps.

You push me forward with a gentle nudge on my shoulder, and when the chain hits the bed, I whimper some more. “Oh god,” I groan, and then your fingers slip between my thighs, sliding along my pussy.

“You’re soaking wet.”

I don’t have words. I just whimper. But I am. I am nearly dripping already.

You flog me again, raining the pain over my ass. Even as I think about how much it hurts, I can feel myself getting more turned on. When you finally stop, I am whimpering even more. Your fingers slide along my folds, and this time you press two fingers inside me, fucking me slowly. I push back against your hand, wanting more. Oh god, wanting so much more.

“Flip over,” you tell me.

I do, spreading my legs for you.

“When you cum, take off the clamps.”

Ah yes, the clamps. They hurt when I flip over, but otherwise, my nipples have lost enough feeling that it isn’t as painful. Which means it’s going to hurt a lot when they come off. That rush of blood back to them is the worst part. Best part? Most intense part.

You slip three fingers inside me now, and I feel so full. Your tongue caresses my clit, and I’m ready to lose my mind. I both want the orgasm and know that it’s going to be painful when I take the clamps off. But I’m so turned on that I know I don’t have long. And then you bring your free hand up and wind your finger around the chain connecting my nipples, and oh my goodness, I can’t believe it. My nipples feel like they’re on fire, and my orgasm is about to roll over me.

My eyes roll back in my head, and I grab the release on the clamps. I take them off at the same time, and the pain floods my senses. It’s insanely intense. My pussy clenches around your fingers, a shudder goes through me, and the pain in my nipples all combines into one very intense orgasm. The next thing I know, you’re on top of me, and I’m lifting my legs to let you in. The depth is incredible, and I love feeling your cock filling me up. You pound into me, my breasts bouncing. My nipples scream with pain as my large breasts bounce. I grip them to hold them still, and it dulls the pain somewhat.

Another orgasm overtakes me, between the pleasure of your cock and the pain in my nipples, my pussy clenches around you. I am moaning again, thrusting back against you as best I can. When the orgasm starts, I let go of my breasts, and they bounce as waves of pleasure overtake me. I grip your arms, solid muscle above me and look up into your face. I love watching as you cum, your face intense, your breathing fast. It’s the sexiest I ever get to see you. You make the telltale sound of your orgasm, a sound I have loved for more than a decade. And I sigh contentedly.

We clean up a bit, and I curl up in your arms, your chest hair tickling my nose. I want to drift off back to sleep, but instead, we talk. We talk about how much we love each other, how happy we are, how far we’ve come in our relationship. And by the time we’re done talking, you’re hard again.

“I’m sorry?” I ask when you point out your erection.

“Why?” you ask. “Are you too hungry for another round?”

“Breakfast can wait,” I say, and you grin down at me.

You press your lips to mine, and I can taste myself on them still. I relax into your embrace. I am the luckiest woman in the world.

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See more erotic journal challenge posts here.

Connections

Social Media is a time suck. I hate it. I hate that I can waste HOURS of time just scrolling through. I even put a time limiter on myself like I would for a child. It’s nuts. I get lost scrolling Facebook on my computer. The worst is when I catch myself scrolling on my phone and computer at the same time.

I often think about leaving. But… I won’t.

The other day, someone I’m friends with posted something political. I didn’t want to post about it publicly because it involves looking for a new job so I sent her a message. Scrolling up (because Facebook saves everything), I realize that we haven’t spoken directly in 12 years. 12 years! We have liked each other’s posts and maybe even commented sometimes, but we haven’t had any direct interactions.

What was cool about it was that she offered me a place to stay post-pandemic if I’m ever in the area and said that she really enjoyed watching my life on social media. I never would have guessed that she would care that I got married and had a family, not because she isn’t a caring person, but because it surprises me that I would matter to someone else at all.

So, it goes to show you (me) two things:

  1. You never know who your posts are impacting, so go ahead and make that post.
  2. Social media isn’t all evil and leaving isn’t necessary. But maybe limiting the time would be good…

Orange #PUSHunt

Let’s play a game! It’s called PUSH and it’s super fun. Go learn more here or google the hashtag!


Orange.

It’s the opposite color to blue, which is my favorite color. It’s been my favorite color since…as long as I can remember. Blue is the color that everyone goes to when they’re asked for a favorite.

Okay, not everyone, obviously, but many people. I have 0 scientific proof, but I think blue has been the most common favorite color every time I’ve ever polled people.

But what does that have to do with anything? Does it matter what our favorite colors are? Does it have some super power that tells you who you’re compatible with? Does having opposite favorite colors mean something bad? I don’t know. I don’t really believe in horoscopes, so why would I believe in something like favorite colors dictating something?

I don’t. Honestly. But it’s funny that in so many ways, we are opposites, including our favorite colors. And maybe that’s okay. It’s nice to have a colorful world, isn’t it?

But now I think of you every time I see the color orange. For the rest of my days, I’ll think of you every time I see it. I hope that the memories will be fond ones, but no matter how this ends (if this ends?) I will still think of you when I see the color orange. Because while the color (and so many other things) has been burned into my mind, your love has been burned into my heart, and there it will stay.

TMI Tuesday

1. What is your phone screensaver at the moment?
It’s just pretty colors. Nothing fancy.

2. What is currently on your playlist? (list top 5)
Fallin’ All In You – Shawn Mendes
Fire Escape – Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness
Smoke the Clears – Andy Grammer
Ripple in the Water – Pat Monahan
Don’t You Worry Child – Swedish House Mafia

3. What are your last three internet searches?
Facebook – looking for someone who followed me
PUSH – Prompts Unity Scavenger Hunt
TMI Tuesday Blog

4. What is your favorite sandwich filling?
Peanut butter and jelly, triple berry, but I’m not picky.

5. What is one staple item all men should own?
A screw driver

Bonus: If you couldn’t be convicted of any one type of crime, what criminal charge would you like to be immune to?

I would want to be immune to public indecency. Public sex is definitely something that’s alluring to me, but sooo risky. (And yes, there is the factor of consent. But you may notice that there are a lot of rooms in my stories where people can have sex and be watched.)

Check out other TMI Tuesday Blogs here!

Comment below if you’re playing along!

Book Review: Magic Never Lies

At the beginning of April, fellow romance author Erin Leaf released Magic Never Lies. I needed something light and happy at that point in my life, so I jumped into the book and I am SO glad I did. I am, admittedly, terrible about writing reviews, and in the middle of the A to Z Blog Challenge and quarantine and the world burning, I never got around to writing a review. But the fact that the book has stayed with me for two months says a lot about how much I enjoyed it.


The description reads: Blake Gerritt kicked music and fame to the curb years ago and now he’s happy with his anonymous life in an ordinary town in the middle of nowhere. He raised his sister after their parents died and the simmering magic in his blood has faded. He’s cool with that—he’s too old for falling in love anyway. Magic can’t fix his past and he doesn’t need it for his future.

Aaron Wade is young, rich, and miserable, even though millions love his songs. He knows he should be happy, especially since his bigoted jerk of a father is finally dead, but he can’t sleep. He can’t deal. A small town in the middle of rural America is just the cure he needs to get back on track with his life, no outside help needed.

But what happens when love comes out of nowhere? Does a man let himself fall or does he refuse the magic that could change everything?


This is definitely a 5 star book! It was excellent from start to finish. The characters are real and relatable. The magic is alluring without being too much of a focus (though I love some good paranormal romance, this has just a touch). The story held my attention and the characters made me fall in love. If you’re looking for a romance to disappear into, pick this one!

Relaxed, Part 3

Here is Part 3 of my 3-part story! If you missed Part 1, click here.


I climb onto Nick this time, positioning his cock inside me. It feels incredible to have him inside me. I sink down onto him, moaning. Lucas reaches a hand over and runs it along Nick’s chest. I love that we’re all so connected. We have a good rhythm for a bit, but I’m tired. When I nearly collapse on top of him, we know it’s time to switch things up.

I climb off him, getting tangled up in the guys again. “I want to take you from behind,” Nick says.

Lucas lays on his back in front of me, and I lick my lips looking down at his cock. I can’t wait to feel it between my lips. I position myself with my ass in the air, and Nick settles himself behind me, pressing his hard cock against my slit. I’m still so wet from him going down on me. His cock slides into me, and I groan as I take Lucas’ cock into my mouth.

When I first wrap my lips around him, he’s soft and silky in my mouth, but he gets hard quickly. I grip the base of his cock with my fingers as he stiffens. He grunts a little as I take him deeper, rubbing my tongue along his shaft.

Nick fucks me hard, and I’m moaning around Lucas’s cock. It’s so fucking hot. And then Lucas reaches his hand between my legs and rubs my clit. He always knows how to find just the right spot. My whole body shudders. I take his cock out of my mouth because I am panting so hard and gasping for air. But his cock is slick, and I know how he likes to be stroked. I wrap my fingers around him and slide them up over the head of his cock. I use small strokes, and he groans deep in his throat. Nick stills inside me, and I know that he’s waiting. He grinds his hips against me slowly, letting me feel his hard cock, but not fucking me. Lucas keeps playing with my clit. I feel like I’m going to burst.

I take Lucas back into my mouth, feeling the head of his cock rubbing against the roof of my mouth. He’s starting to swell, and I know he’s going to cum soon. I open my eyes and glance at his feet. His toes are curling. I love those telltale signs that he’s close. Nick starts to move again, thrusting slowly at first, letting me feel his full length, his fingers digging into my hips. I love it. I love how he controls the sex between us, how he has this power over my body.

I feel the orgasm building, and I’m sure Nick can feel it too as my pussy clenches around him. He starts to fuck me hard now, thrusting deeply. As he fucks me hard, my whole body rocks, Lucas’ body rocks, and I let the momentum move my mouth on Lucas. As the three of us rock together, I feel my pussy clench around Nick’s cock. Lucas must hear my whimpers and moans, but he doesn’t stop playing with my clit. Nick fucks me harder still, but I can feel that he’s close, and he pulses inside me as he cums. I had hoped I could get Lucas off at the same time, but he’s not far behind. Nick slides out of me and collapses on the bed. I let my body slide flat and focus my attention on Lucas. He’s so close. I stroke him with my hand, and I feel the little tap on my back that I know means he’s close. I press his cock into my mouth, sucking lightly on the head and stroking with my hand.

“Oh god,” he groans as his hot cum fills my mouth. I wait until he’s done, stroking him softly with my fingers, and then I swallow, licking my lips and smiling.

We get cleaned up enough to sleep, our bodies still glistening with a fine sheen of sweat and arousal. Nestling myself into Lucas’ arms, pressing my body against his, and then bringing Nick in against mine. I am surrounded by warm bodies and love, and I have never been more content and relaxed.


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