The Insecure Writer’s Support Group #IWSG

The Insecure Writer's Support Group

We’re back for a 9th month of The Insecure Writer’s Support Group! We’re excited to be back, and to have at least one challenge we haven’t dropped the ball on. (Actually, we were good with NaNoWriMo, we just went below our original goals.)

If you’d like to chime in and let us know your answers to the questions or drop a link to your post if you’re participating, please do so in the comments! And check out the IWSG website for more answers!

December: In your writing, what stresses you the most? What delights you?

Jayden: I guess it depends on what I’m doing. If I’m writing something for the sake of getting words, then what stresses me out is generally just getting enough words in the time I have. If I’m writing for a specific story, I’m stressed about getting my details correct. I try to keep copious notes, but I have yet to find a way to organize them so that I can keep them all straight. I can’t outline ahead of time (it just doesn’t work for me) so my characters become who they are as I write them. It makes keeping a profile on them difficult.

What delights me is learning who my characters are and what challenges they face. It’s awesome to see them become their own people in front of my eyes as their stories pour out of my fingers. It’s really cool. And I like happy endings, so it’s also great to see those happy endings come to fruition.

Richard: I feel like I just talked about this during the TMI Tuesday roundup. Time management is the biggest thing for stress. Between our million words goal, the blogs, and trying to keep up on my MFA (and trying to balance between writing a half a million words, while making sure at least ten thousand or so a month aren’t total garbage) it’s a lot of word balls to keep in the air. Going back to “regular” work, moving to the new apartment, and all the other stuff in life also means I’m a lot busier. Getting 50 or 100K in a month is a lot easier when you don’t have to commute, can do the dishes on your lunch break, etc.

My biggest delight is when I hit on a character’s voice just right. I can be prone to long, wishy washy dialogue and it’s nice when I hit a sentence that feels good. Doubly so when it happens with both people in a conversation at once.

What are your stresses and delights when writing? Drop them in the comments!

TMI Tuesday: November 30th, 2021

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Simply getting you thinking, and hopefully writing. Welcome to TMI Tuesday blog.

1. With whom would you love to sing a duet?

Jayden: My dad. I’ve done it before and it’s always amazing. Our voices blend very well, and there’s something special about a dad and his daughter. The problem with it is that most duets are romantic. It’s hard to find good non-romantic duets.

Richard: Weird Al. He’s one of the few celebrities that, as far as I know, isn’t secretly a terrible person and I think it’d just be really fun.

We’ll sing… The Saga Begins? Yeah, that sounds good. Drop your favorite Weird Al song in the comments. Also, did you see that sick burn he had on Kid Rock the other day?

2. Have you ever cried over a pet? What kind?

Jayden: I was with my dog when he passed away. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I sobbed.

Richard: I cried over a betta once when it accidentally got frozen. He was okay. I think I cried at least once when I lost my last cat.

3. Do you think your personality needs polishing? Why?

Jayden: Sometimes. I’ve been told recently that I’m micromanaging. I dunno…

Richard: What does that even mean? I’m going with no.

4. What is the worst injury you’ve ever had?

Jayden: It wasn’t really an injury, but my feet are so bad that I couldn’t walk unassisted for almost a year. It was pretty awful.

Richard: I thought I was going to bleed to death after a metal bar I was doing pull ups on broke and whacked me in the head. It was fine, didn’t even need stitches.

5. If you had a clone, what part or your life or tasks would you have it do on your behalf?

Jayden: Work. I would sleep in and write and do other fun things.

Richard: I’d just use them to play pranks on Jayden.

Bonus: Gifting supermarket flowers–good or bad?

Jayden: I think it’s good. They’re usually nice flowers and not stupidly expensive.

Richard: Good. All gifts are good. I don’t know that I’d go so far to say that they’re nice flowers, but (other than stupid smelly ones like lilies) any flowers are better than no flours.

See you all tomorrow for Insecure Writer’s Support Group. NANO IS OVER! We only need about 180 thousand more words, we totally got this!

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!


Whoopsie. Richard asked me today when the last time we posted to the blog was. I said, “Oh, about a week and a half, I think.”

I was wrong.

Very wrong.

Sorry, dear readers. We haven’t forgotten you. In fact, we’ve written some stuff specifically for the blog. We’re getting ready to start a review of Target sheets! We just got five sets of sheets from Target, and there’s a whole story, and pictures and everything. It’s coming. I promise.

I’ve written a lot of smut. A lot of short stories. And I’ve written most of a novel. It’ll be coming. 2022 goals: publishing! I’m sure there will be more, but that’s important. So don’t forget us! We’ll be coming back shortly. Promise!

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group #IWSG

The Insecure Writer's Support Group

We’re back for an 8th month of The Insecure Writer’s Support Group! It’s hard to believe it’s been 2/3 of a year!

If you’d like to chime in and let us know your answers to the questions or drop a link to your post if you’re participating, please do so in the comments! And check out the IWSG website for more answers!

November 3rd: What’s harder to do, coming up with your book title or writing the blurb?

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TMI Tuesday: November 2nd, 2021

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1. You found bags of money, in an empty storage room. It appears to be around $100,000 cash (usd). Do you:
A. Take the bags home, count the money, roll around in it, and day dream about how you will spend it

B. Get the hell out of the storage room, leaving the money behind.

C. Take a little money to pay some immediate bills, and maybe enough to cover one nagging debt.

D. Call someone whom you trust and ask their advice on what to do.

E. Take the money to the police and explain how and where you found it.

Jayden: D. I am terrible at making decisions!

Richard: B, 100K isn’t obvious inciting incident to a mob thriller money anymore.

2. Have you had your wallet stolen?

Jayden: Lost, yes. Not stolen.

Richard: Maybe? One time all the money was missing from it. On the one hand, the odds of getting pick pocketed and having my wallet put back minus just the cash seem pretty thing. On the other, I have no idea where $100 or so went.

3. Have you ever been a victim of identity theft? What happened?

Jayden: Nope. Thank goodness.

Richard: I’ve had a card hijacked once or twice, but it was always caught before it was an issue.

4. How do you let loose?

Jayden: Music and maybe some alcohol.

Richard: I just rail Jayden really hard.

5. Finish the sentence: People often say to me _____ .

Jayden: “You look happy!”

Richard: “You’re looking very submissive and breedable today.”

Bonus: Do you have a lot to say?

Jayden: Always.

Richard: Usually

TMI Tuesday: October 26th, 2021

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1. What’s for breakfast?

Richard: My favorite thing to make for breakfast is a curry hash. If I don’t have time to make it myself, it’s usually just a granola bar, piece of fruit, etc.

Jayden: “If I don’t have time to make it myself…” meaning whatever I put in his lunchbox. 😉

If I have time, I love to eat a bowl of cereal. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is my favorite. Otherwise, I love omelets and hash browns and bacon.

2. Three words you don’t want to hear during sex.

Richard: Is it in?

Jayden: Is that blood?

3. Stupid shit you shouldn’t do but do anyway. List two.

Richard: Throw things off the loft, and eat too close to bed.

Jayden: Eat when I’m not hungry and spend money when I shouldn’t.

4. One thing you love to hate.

Richard: The Bachelor

Jayden: I like to say I hate exercise, but honestly, it feels good.

5. Today is a great day for _____ .

Richard: Learning how to em dash.

Jayden: The Bachelorette!


Richard here with an update on some of our ongoing goals:

1. National Novel Writing Month

Jayden and I will both be leading our writing group in Nano again this year. Jayden is writing some kind of futuristic Jeff Goldblum dinosaur smut,

Jayden: That is such a misleading tag for what I’m writing. I have no idea what it’ll be, but it sounds like there will be a Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcom clone…or something.

and I’m working on a GSM super hero story. We need to hit 100K+ each in order to have any chance at making…

2. One Million Words

Currently, we’re at around 555K. We’re behind (but not completely out of it) on our goal of ~70K each for October. Not counting whatever else we write this month, we need to average a little over 100K each of the remaining two months (if we can make it to around 70K this month, we drop to about the same for December) to hit our goal. That’d be extremely difficult, but not impossible. SEND PROMPTS!

As you can see, April and July are our best months, and in July we almost hit that 200k mark. So fingers crossed!

3. 524 Sexes

On a better note, we’ve cleared the “one to one” threshold on our goal of 524 sexes! With 69 (nice!) days to go, we only need 67 more sexes. I’m hoping to get one more in tonight, depending on how Jayden and I are feeling, but either way it’s a relief. While having a ridiculous amount of sex is fun, at this quantity it starts to feel kind of chorish/check boxy sometimes. I think we’ll shoot for a nice, reasonable, 400 or so next year.

Eventually Ever After: Part 7

by Jayden

Welcome to my story. One of the real stories about Richard and me. Click here to go back to the beginning of Eventually Ever After.

Before I had come over for the day, we had made a plan. The plan was to have a quickie and then get our work done. But when he touched me, and when he kissed me, I stopped caring about being productive. I just wanted to be with him.

“I’m going to drink the rest of this iced tea, and then we can go in the bedroom,” he said.

I was jittery. So jittery. “That sounds good,” I said. I wasn’t sure what else to say. Despite the fact that I write about sex all the time and we had been roleplaying sexual encounters online for a week, I was embarrassed to talk dirty to him. Super embarrassed to say anything, to call him Sir out loud, even though I had done it once or twice on the phone already, and I did it in text all the time.

But could I do it in person?

I was about to find out.

Waiting for him to finish his drink was torture. Watching him sip at it slowly, talking about completely normal things. I wanted him to hurry up and finish the drink, but I was so nervous. We had talked about so many things, so many options. The thing that stuck out the most to me was that he wanted to fuck my ass. It was the first thing he wanted from me.

And here’s the thing. It had been a really long time since someone had been in my ass. Once upon a time, I had been using plugs to keep my ass nice and ready, but that time had long passed. My husband Nick and I had previously agreed no one else could fuck my ass, which was fine with me because I didn’t really like it anyway. It was hot in theory, but I didn’t love it in practice.

And Nick hadn’t shown any particular interest, so I was sure my ass was going to be very tight. On top of that, I had a feeling that Richard could last a long time. And then what? Would it hurt a lot? Would it just get worse and worse as time went on?

I had spent the previous 24 hours trying to stretch my ass out for him, fingering it, even using a small plug, but I knew that it would all pale in comparison to Richard actually fucking my ass. I’ve always said that size isn’t as important as society would want us to believe, but Richard was a fair amount bigger than Nick. And when it came to anal, that size seemed…substantial. I just sat there, equal parts excited and worried. It was intoxicating.

He finished his drink and put the cup on the table. “Let’s go in the bedroom.”

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TMI Tuesday: October 12th, 2021

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Comment below if you’re playing along!

Hey, hey, hey, hey…Time to get random again on TMI Tuesday. Why? Because it is fun to know random stuff about you; it can reveal a lot about your personality.

1. Tell us about your sluttiest act ever.

Jayden: Oh jeeze. That’s tough. Maybe sex on the bridge overlooking a highway.

Richard: I went to the park and stomped around in the volleyball sand just so I could send a guy feet pics once. I don’t know if that’s actually that slutty, but it’s interesting at least.

2. Have you ever played air-guitar. . .naked?

Jayden: I don’t know if I’ve ever played air-guitar clothed, so, probably not.

Richard: Probably. I’ve played air-guitar lots of times, and been naked lots of times. I assume there’s some overlap there.

3. To what song do you most like to play air-guitar either clothed or naked?

Jayden: I’m more apt to play air drums. Sorry!

Richard: Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey

4. Are you good in bed? Why?

Jayden: I don’t know? Richard would have to tell you. I’ve had a fair number of partners and none of them have complained, so I guess I’m decent.

Richard: I think so. Mostly because I give fabulous snuggles.

5. What FEELS Sexy to you–tactile sensation? (Leave sight and taste out of this)

Jayden: Touching my nipples.

Richard: Almost anything touching my thighs. Mmmmm.

Bonus: Write a six word autobiography.

Jayden: I did too much. I’m tired.

Richard: I used my Swiss Army Knife.

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Coming Out Day!

I wrote this post five years ago to commemorate this day, and I don’t think I can say it any better than I did then. So, here you go. ~Jayden

National Coming Out Day

I have lots of feelings about National Coming Out Day. My personal Facebook page is currently flooded with posts from friends proclaiming who they are: bisexual, pansexual, gay, lesbian, polyamorous, kinky, and on and on. It’s wonderful to see so many friends who are comfortable enough with themselves to share it with the world. One friend remarked, “In case you didn’t know…” I smiled, because I know that she is very out about her relationships. Very Out. And I am happy for her that she can be. I know so many people who are afraid to be out to their coworkers, to their family, to their friends. I know so many people who were disowned from their families because of their sexuality or gender. 

So on National Coming Out Day, I applaud those who can be open about who they are and those who are supportive of those around them. I feel empathy for those who can’t be out for whatever reason. There are many parts of myself that I have to hide because of my day job. I put up with it because I love my job, but I sometimes live in fear of being outed: outed as polyamorous, outed as kinky, outed as an erotic fiction writer. So I hide parts of myself being a pen name, but to you – my friends and (hopefully) fans, I can be true to myself: I am polyamorous, bisexual, kinky, and I write erotic fiction.

I leave you with a paraphrase of a well known quote: Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what battles they are fighting.

30 Days of Submission and Domination

We’re continuing answering the questions from our list. Check last time’s if you missed them!

Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?

Richard: I don’t think so. Since I default to being a Dom, it’s not really a problem.

Jayden: I’m not sure that I’ve been without a dominant partner, since I understood that I was submissive. There have definitely been lulls over the years where my partner wasn’t feeling particularly dominant, and then I did a lot of fantasizing about submission. I give myself tasks to do (which of course is not nearly as much fun), but I definitely missed it when it wasn’t there.

Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?

Richard: I don’t like overly dependent subs. There’s a line between playing needy, pathetic, little, etc. and legit being unable to function, and it’s not sexy when it gets crossed.

Jayden: Within myself, I can’t think of anything. Sometimes I get a little embarrassed thinking about the degrading stuff I do that I love. But then the embarrassment turns me on, so… In others, as Richard said, there’s a line there. Bedroom submission is great, but when someone is dependent on me for literally everything, it’s a big turn off.

Can you feel dominant without a submissive partner? If so, how does your dominance express itself? If not, how do you handle your dominance or dominance feelings?

Richard: I’ve often compared the feeling I get from a good scene to when everything clicks in writing, or when I do well in a difficult game, solve a difficult problem, etc. I don’t know if it’s just all happy chemicals, if it’s all similar from a planning/control perspective, or what. When I don’t have a “real” sub I tend to spend a lot more time on chat sites and the like.

Jayden: I can’t. I lean so far submissive naturally that it takes the right partner to bring out the Domme in me.

Is there anything about dominance (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own dominant feelings?

Richard: Just the general use of dominance for cover for assholish or abusive behavior. There were definitely times when I felt guilty about being a Dom when I was much younger, like sixteen or seventeen, but I think that’s the only time.

Jayden: Exactly what Richard said. There are so many abusive “doms” who either use it as a cover or just don’t understand the difference. I remember when a friend was looking for a Dom, she had a hell of a time with it.

We’d love to hear your answers! Feel free to answer some/all in the comments or give us links to your blog if you answered them there!

Eventually Ever After: Part 6

by Jayden

Welcome to my story. One of the real stories about Richard and me. Click here to go back to the beginning of Eventually Ever After.

It could have been our only day. At the time, I didn’t want it to be our only day together, but it could have been. It could have been the worst decision I’ve ever made or the best decision of my life. I feel like there’s no in-between.

I got in the car first thing in the morning, and I knew that I had about 15 minutes to decide. I could change my mind now, and nothing would happen. But I knew for myself that if I drove in that direction, my course was set. But then again, if I hadn’t been sure about it, I wouldn’t have made the plan or gotten in the car. But I did.

I just had to hope that I wasn’t going to regret it.

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The Insecure Writer’s Support Group #IWSG

The Insecure Writer's Support Group

We’re back for a 7th month of The Insecure Writer’s Support Group, and we’re right on time!

If you’d like to chime in and let us know your answers to the questions or drop a link to your post if you’re participating, please do so in the comments! And check out the IWSG website for more answers!

October 6 question – In your writing, where do you draw the line, with either topics or language?

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TMI Tuesday: October 5th, 2021

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Comment below if you’re playing along!

Potpourri of Questions

1. I’m so jealous, I wish I was _____ .

Jayden: Independently wealthy.

Richard: able to take a nap in the shower.

2. When would you seek help from a sex therapist?

Jayden: If the sex weren’t good and everything else was. Or if the sex doesn’t stay good. (I don’t see that happening, but you never know.)

Richard: Sure, we already go to a couple’s therapist.

3. How do you break up with a friend?

Jayden: The same way you break up with a partner, I suppose. I guess I haven’t really had to do a lot of that. I just let things fade. If I don’t pursue the friendship and neither do they, then I guess that’s the answer…

Richard: I don’t think I ever have. I’ve stopped being friends with people, but I don’t remember ever having a specific conversation about it.

4. Give us a tip to turn a bad day around.

Jayden: I like to listen to some upbeat music. That can often put me in a better headspace.

Richard: Go for a walk.

Bonus: Do you feel drowned by social media?

Jayden: Yes. There’s so much of it. It’s impossible to keep up with everything, and I hate to miss what’s going on in my friends’ lives, but I can’t possibly read everyone’s posts.

Richard: Not really. The only one I really use is FB, and I have few enough friends that I can get through most of their posts in like 10 minutes a day.