#EroticJournalChallenge First Time…

When was the first time you realized you were ______? OR When was the first time you realized you liked or enjoyed ______?

Richard: Jayden and I thought it would be fun to do the same kink for this one, and we decided to do anal/painal.

Jayden: Here’s my true story of the first time Richard and I had anal sex, which happened to be the time I realized how much I loved it.


We had already had sex today, and I was tired. And I was supposed to be busy doing things, but I can’t focus. All I can think about is being close to Richard, touching him, feeling his body against mine.

I’m sitting in an armchair that is definitely not big enough for two, but here he comes anyway. He leans down and kisses me. I moan softly against his mouth. He’s practically climbing into my lap.

“This is a bad idea,” he says, but my legs are already spread for him. I don’t care. “No,” he says, stopping me, “Get up and go over to the couch.” The couch with the ottoman in front of it made a much better space.

I go over, pulling my dress off and dropping it on the floor. I lay on my back, my legs spread for him, and I’m dripping wet. I’m always dripping wet for him.

“I want your ass,” he growls.

I’m scared. I know that he had wanted my ass, and I had even been trying to prepare for it, but I didn’t love anal as a rule, so the prospect of his big cock in my ass was terrifying. “Take it,” I groan. I want it. As scared as I am, I want it.

“Turn over.”

I get up on my knees in the right position, thrusting my ass into the air. He slips inside my pussy once, twice, three times, and then goes for my ass, but I’m so tight. He pushes his finger inside me.

“Oh my god, you’re so tight.”

All I can do is groan. I am so bad at talking during sex.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

“Yes,” I grunt. My face is buried deep in the pillows on the couch.

He presses his cock into my hole, and it burns as it stretches me out, but he gets it in. Oh god, he’s inside me. It hurts, but it feels incredible. He doesn’t wait. There’s no gentle thrust to get me used to how big he is. He’s using me. And it’s fucking hot. He thrusts in and out, filling me each time. It’s incredible. I’ve never had sex like this before. Before long, it feels good. Amazing, even. I really thought it would just hurt more the longer it went on, but it doesn’t. It feels great.

——————

And now we can’t go more than a week without anal before I get very grouchy and pouty. Apparently, I just needed the right partner.


Tomorrow and Sunday, we’ll post Richard’s written a fictionish account of some fun painal from his experience. Don’t miss it!

What’s Good Wednesday? 7/28/21

We have a new feature!

What’s Good Wednesday?

We thought that we would take an opportunity on Wednesdays to share what’s good in our lives and (hopefully) you’ll share what’s good in your lives! Please comment below and let us know what’s good! Feel free to be vague or specific. We’re just happy to share good things!


We’re home from our writing retreat and it was amazing! Some days were lighter than others, but Jayden wrote 42,796 words and Richard wrote 30,757 words for a total of 73,553 words in a week! It was short of our goal of 50k each, but it was still pretty darn good. Earlier this month, we were a whopping 228k below where we should be for the Million Word Challenge for 2021, but we’ve already cut that down to 169k down! That’s a huge improvement! We’re hoping to finish out the month strong and get that number even lower! If we both reach our 100k for July goal, we’ll cut it down to just about 100k deficit. With only a few days left, well… here’s hoping!

It’s also nice to be home. We get to eat Richard’s cooking and sleep in our own bed again!

Thanks for sharing in our good news! Please share some of your own!

30 Days of Submission and Domination

We’re continuing answering the questions from our list. Check last week’s if you missed them!

Have you been or are you in a dominant/submissive dynamic relationship or is this new to you? Have you been in more than one D/s relationship? How were they the same? How were they different? What is unique about your relationships in your mind?

Richard: I’m currently the Dominant in my relationship with Jayden. I have been dominant, to one degree or another, in most of my long term relationships. They’ve varied pretty significantly in the type of dynamic, and how much it influenced the relationship. For example, my last relationship was DDLG in the bedroom, but almost entirely vanilla outside of it. I think all relationships are unique, so I can’t really point to anything that makes my relationships extra-unique compared to anyone else’s.

Jayden: I’m currently the submissive in my relationship with Richard. I have been in both roles in various relationships. Until recently, I’ve had several submissives of my own, but I’m not Dominant enough to maintain long term relationships. A scene here or there as a Domme is fun, but more than that becomes stressful for me. I have been a submissive in other relationships in the past, but this is the first one where I have felt…I’m not sure what the word is. Truly owned, I guess. I feel secure in the D/s part of our relationship. It’s also the only relationship I’ve been in with a Dominant partner who has had about the same or more experience in D/s than I have.

What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

Richard: The first time I felt particularly subby was with an older guy I worked with at camp as a teen. I had a crush on him, and was afraid to tell him, so I decided the best way to maybe get him to hit on me was to take care of him; bring him dinner if he had a shift that made him miss it, things like that. Ironically, I later found out he was bi, and a sub, so I probably should’ve just hit on him and topped him. Oh well. As someone who winds up being in charge of a lot of things in my day to day life, I think it’s mostly a relief to not have to worry about things.

Jayden:

I think I spent so much of my life outside the bedroom in responsible roles, so being submissive allows me to let that go for a little while. Giving someone else control over…everything is a very freeing experience for me, and reduces my stress greatly. I have been interested in domestic discipline with a previous partner (but he vetoed it without ever trying it). I’m not sure it’s something I would want to pursue, particularly, and as you can see in Richard’s response on the Dom side, he’s not particularly interested in it. So that works out well!

That said, I remember having submissive fantasies before I understood what sexual fantasies were. Fantasies of being kidnapped and tortured. I guess that’s rooted deeper in me than I would have guessed. But there is a lot of sexual thrill in being a submissive for me.

Do you switch into a submissive role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that What do you feel are the roots of your dominance? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

Richard: I don’t think there’s any particular “root” for my Dominance. I think I’ve generally leaned Dom for as long as I’ve been aware of my sexuality, and I’ve always liked being in charge. I’ve flirted with domestic discipline style dynamics in the past, but I’m not currently pursuing it, because I think it’s easy for it to turn unhealthy. I would say it’s mostly a sexual thing for me.

Jayden: This is a little backward, but I like pleasing people. So pleasing a submissive has a little bit of attraction to me. One of my good friends told me he didn’t think that would work to sustain a relationship, and he was right. It’s fine for a scene, but it doesn’t work long term. Like Richard, I have often been in charge of things outside the bedroom, so being a Domme was a natural progression for me. Unlike Richard, I don’t really like being in charge, it just sort of happens to me. That said, I have read/written/experienced some scenes as a Domme that turned me on a lot. But it doesn’t give me the same satisfaction being a submissive does.

We’d love to hear your answers! Feel free to answer some/all in the comments or give us links to your blog if you answered them there!

#EroticJournalChallenge Regrets

What is something in your sexual past that you regret doing/not doing?

Richard: I regret not making a move on a guy I had a crush on when I was a teenager. I found out years later that he was bi and subby. 

Jayden: I regret not asking for what I wanted when I wanted it. There was one person I remember in particular who we both wanted to be respectful of the other one so we didn’t initiate sex, and ultimately, we both wanted it, but didn’t want the other to think that was all we were interested in. We could have been having great sex! 


A related short story by Jayden:

The first time we’d hung out, we’d had amazing sex. The second time we hung out, we hadn’t even hinted at sex. I wanted it, but I didn’t want him to think that it was all I wanted. It wasn’t, honestly. I was enjoying hanging out with him. I mean, I was just 18, and he was in his 30s and had his own house with a built-in theater room and everything. And he treated me well. I had had several serious boyfriends, but this was different, somehow. He was more attentive to my needs in the bedroom than some of my other partners had been. And he was interested in me, really interested.

I didn’t think it would be a relationship, but it was still fun to be together. So now, the third time we were hanging out, I was really hoping it would end with us hooking up.

Like the last time, he ordered pizza, and we brought it back to his house. We ate, sitting side by side on the couch eating pizza. Nothing happened. I yearned for it, but I was too shy to say anything. The night ended, and again, no sex.

The fourth time we hung out was the same. I was starting to worry that he wasn’t as interested in me as I thought.

The fifth time started out like the others, and I was starting to feel discouraged. We were on the couch, eating our pizza. I set my plate down on the side table and stretched out, leaning against him a little. He put his plate down and made space for me in his lap. I hadn’t meant for him to do that, but I wasn’t complaining. I lay my head in his lap, and he ran one hand through my hair, his other hand caressing my side.

“How are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m good,” I said, smiling up at him. “How are you?”

He smirked down at me, “I have a beautiful woman’s head in my lap. I couldn’t be better.” His fingers wandered down to the hem of my shirt. He slid them inside so his fingers were on my bare skin.

My breath faltered.

“Your skin is so soft,” he breathed.

I moaned softly. “Touch me more?”

It seemed he took that almost passing comment as permission, and his hand slid up my shirt fully, coming up to cup my breast through my bra. “Do you want to go to the bedroom?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” I said.

“What?”

“I’ve wanted you since that first time.”

“You have?”

“Yeah,” I said.

“Me, too,” he replied, “but I didn’t want you to think that was all I was interested in.”

“But then,” I let my voice trail off. I wanted to smack myself in the forehead. We could have been having amazing sex this whole time?! And instead, we had both been dancing around the other’s feelings, trying not to let the other one think we just wanted sex. I felt like such an idiot. He was just trying to be respectful, and I could have just asked for what I wanted this whole time. “Well,” I said, “let’s not waste any more time then. Bedroom?”

He smiled at me and said, “Absolutely.”

What’s Good Wednesday? 7/21/21

We have a new feature!

What’s Good Wednesday?

We thought that we would take an opportunity on Wednesdays to share what’s good in our lives and (hopefully) you’ll share what’s good in your lives! Please comment below and let us know what’s good! Feel free to be vague or specific. We’re just happy to share good things!


This week, we’re excited to share that we’re on a writing retreat! Thank goodness because our writing goals have been…not reached as of late. Richard, however, did a big project for his grad program, so that’s a big weight lifted. Our vacation wrapped up and was a lot of fun. We packed in more activities in the three days we were home, and now we’re away again for our retreat. It’ll be great to see those numbers skyrocket. (We hope.) We each hope to write 50k+ this week, so that would put a huge dent in our deficit. Wish us luck!

We also participated in a “Newlywed Game” (I think they had some non-trademarked title to it). We didn’t do quite as well as we’d hoped, but we did win! We squeaked out the win with a tie breaker! There were many questions that we were very close, but just didn’t quite get the point. It was fun, in any case, and we got a ribbon and a bottle of wine to show for it.

Thanks for sharing in our good news! Please share some of your own!

30 Days of Submission and Domination

We’re continuing answering the questions from our list. Check last week’s if you missed them!

How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?

Richard: For me, it’s mostly a question of trust. I’m fairly unlikely to be submissive on a first encounter. Thus, I think the primary emotion I feel when I’m being subby is some variant of safe, cared for, etc.

Jayden: I am generally submissive in the bedroom, so if I meet someone who can take charge, I’m usually down for it. There does have to be some level of trust for me to get fully into the headspace, and I have noticed with Richard that the longer we’re together, the more we interact, the more I trust him, the deeper and harder I’m willing and able to submit. It’s intoxicating in the best possible way.

Do you switch into a dominant role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that you maintain control over? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you?

Richard: I consider myself a Dom-leaning-switch. Because I have little interest in out-of-scene submission, I maintain control of most things besides basic sexual stuff.

Jayden: I’m a sub-leaning-switch. There are occasional times that I like to play with a sub and it undeniably turns me on. But long term dominance doesn’t do much for me and often feels very heavy. I once had a sub who wanted me to pick his underwear for him. It was so taxing on me that I almost couldn’t do it, and he did everything he could to make it easy for me. For whatever reason, it just weighed on me emotionally. I’m just not interested in being Dominant in that way.

How do you know you are dominant or have the potential to be dominant? How do you feel when you express your dominance?

Richard: I started rooting for the bad guy at a young age, and I think I enjoyed power fantasies proto-sexually before I had a real concept of what sexuality was. Being dominant makes me feel sexy, wanted, and powerful.

Jayden: I had a partner a lonnnng time ago and we played at both sides. It was a great learning experience and I realized that I enjoyed being dominant sometimes. It turns me on a lot in scenes.

Do you switch into a submissive role at any time? If you are in a domestic discipline relationship, are there things that you give up control over? Are you a “switch” in BDSM terms? If not, have you ever thought about it or given thought to why it’s not for you?

Richard: I consider myself a Dom-leaning-switch. The biggest thing I refuse to control with my subs is their relationships with other partners. In general, it varies depending on the specific sub, relationship, etc. With most of my subs, I’ve had to do a lot of the planning for long term plans, major vacations, etc. but Jayden is planning most of our trip last week, since she’s been there before.

Jayden: I often switch into a submissive role, especially with Richard. I don’t mind having some level of control in things around the house, but that seems to be mostly divided equally. Richard and I talk a lot, and it’s nice that we’re a partnership, but when it comes to anything sexual, I’m ready and willing to defer to him.

We’d love to hear your answers! Feel free to answer some/all in the comments or give us links to your blog if you answered them there!

#EroticJournalChallenge Best and Worst

What are your best/worst qualities as a ____?

Jayden: My best and worst qualities as a submissive are:

Best: I truly get off on pleasing my Master. Not only am I willing to forgo my pleasure for his, but I am turned on by doing it. My desire to please him and have him call me his good girl fuels a very active and pleasurable sex life for both of us.

Worst: When I don’t get a chance to be submissive, I get cranky about it. Sometimes he thinks it’s sexy that I’m a needy cock-addicted slut, but sometimes it’s too much. (And that’s totally fair.)

Richard: My best and worst qualities as a partner/Dominant are:

Best: Cooking. I always tease Jayden about how lucky she is to have such a good kitchen-slave-boy. I think I’m pretty good at pushing my sub, without making them uncomfortable.

Worst: When I get down, it’s hard for me to be a Dom at all. And sometimes that spirals. If I can’t be a Dom, then what’s the point of even having me as a partner? Especially if you don’t need a dessert.

Jayden: For the record, Richard is a phenomenal partner, even when he gets down. ❤


A little reminiscing about a recent encounter, by Jayden:

I lay on my back, Richard’s fingers playing with my clit. If I angled my arm juuuust right, I could play with his cock and balls. He wanted to get me off. That was the goal. But I couldn’t help myself. And I wanted the orgasm, of course I did, but the moment my fingers made contact with his soft skin, I stopped caring about my own orgasm. All I wanted was his pleasure.

My body kept reacting to the pleasurable sensations as Richard played with my swollen clit, but my mind was on him. As he we played with each other, his cock got harder and harder until it was straining in my hand. I was waiting for him to stop playing with me so he could get off, but instead he growled in my ear, “You are such a cock-addicted slut, you can’t even let me get you off without playing with me, can you?”

“No, Sir,” I moaned, “I don’t care about me, I just want to get you off.” But he wasn’t deterred, and I felt my orgasm rising. “Oh god, I’m going to cum!”

He held me tight as my whole body tensed and I started screaming and writhing in his arms. I tried to push him off, but he wouldn’t let me go. And as I finally sunk into oblivion, he said, “Is that enough, slut?”

“Yes, Master,” I said.

And then he pushed my legs open and said, “This was supposed to just be for you, but nooo. Now you get to get me off.” His cock slid home into my dripping cunt, as I pulsed around him. He was so fucking perfect.

What’s Good Wednesday? 7/14/21

We have a new feature!

What’s Good Wednesday?

We thought that we would take an opportunity on Wednesdays to share what’s good in our lives and (hopefully) you’ll share what’s good in your lives! Please comment below and let us know what’s good! Feel free to be vague or specific. We’re just happy to share good things!


For Richard and I, our good news is that we’re enjoying a vacation together! As a new-ish relationship, we haven’t had many opportunities for extended vacations, and this has been our longest and most involved vacation yet. It’s been nice to be kid-free for a whole week (which is the longest that’s been the case, too) and spend some time focused on each other. We are definitely ready for our own bed though! Plus, I’ve gotten to show Richard around some of my favorite places in the world! Here are some pictures of our trip. And remember, let us know what’s good for you!

30 Days of Submission and Domination

Jayden found this list of prompts/questions for 30 Days of Submission. While we like the idea, posting the answers to those questions daily AND all of our other posts is a lot. So we’ve decided to answer a couple of questions a week. However, as we started going through the questions, we realized that some of them just aren’t suited for Richard to answer as a Dom-leaning-switch. So we decided to answer them from both perspectives since Jayden is a sub-leaning-switch.

Does your Submission– either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

Richard: The last time I subbed with Jayden and our ex, I was super bratty. I think I probably generally lean that way as a sub. I love pushing buttons “in real life” and it gives me a fun excuse to do it in play.

Jayden: Richard and I are in a relatively new relationship, so we’re still figuring things out. That said, my first published novel (currently off the market) is titled Slave and is all about a Master/slave relationship. So I do think that that’s where I lean. I’m also open to owner/pet, and I get very turned on when Richard reminds me that he owns me during play. But we’ve both agreed that we’re not into puppy play or pony play. More of a generic ‘pet’.

Describe who you might submit to and how. Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you submissive only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you submissive to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?

Richard: Sexually, I submit only occasionally, and in the bedroom. I don’t think there’s a particular type of partner that makes me more or less likely to submit. Some of my favorite times submitting were switching off with partners who were usually very subby. Generally, I’m only subby with established/serious partners, not first time/casual ones.

Non-sexually, I have very little desire to submit. It’s fun to bring my Dom a snack or something, but I think that’s mostly tongue in cheek, and I do it as a Dom too. In situations where I don’t have a lot of say in what’s going on, I’m more of a “keep your head down and just get shit done” kind of person.

Jayden: I am most likely to submit to someone who shows that I can trust them. I will say that I am generally very subby, so it’s relatively easy for me to play at submission with someone or to have a scene with them. But for true submission, I need that trust and intimacy.

Outside the bedroom, I’m not particularly submissive. I’m not at all submissive in my work-life. But I do take joy in serving Richard as my Master at home. Although we have a pretty 50/50 balance of chores around home, I’ll often go out of my way to do little things for him, but he does the same for me.

Does your dominance– either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your dominance as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?

Richard: My relationship with Jayden, and our D/s dynamic, is still evolving. In general, I think I lean towards Master/slave setups. I’ve certainly had relationships with pets, littles, etc. in the past.

Jayden: I rarely want to be dominant with a partner, but I do like titles like Miss, Mistress, Goddess (though that one has become a submissive term with a lowercase g sometimes).

Describe who you might dominate and how. Are you exclusively dominant in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you dominant only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you dominant to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?

Richard: I think I default to being dominant most of the time. I like to describe myself as a 23/6 Dominant. I definitely enjoy being dominant outside the bedroom, but not all the time about every little thing. I think I actually tend to be more dominant with more casual partners. It’s easier to slap someone around and piss in their coffee if you don’t have to go pick out a couch with them the next day.

Jayden: I am only dominant in the bedroom, and rarely at that. I have had long term submissive partners before and it’s too much for me. I get burned out on it pretty quickly. But I can’t deny (and don’t know why I would) that I’ve enjoyed the occasional scene as a dominant. I’m excited to see what it’s like to co-Dom with Richard.

#EroticJournalChallenge Masturbation

Is masturbation selfish?

Jayden: Not at all. Sometimes mutual masturbation is sexy. Sometimes you just need to get off for stress relief. Sometimes you just need a private moment. Sometimes a little self-play can be a great leadup to an amazing scene.

Richard: Broadly speaking, no. Like Jayden says, there’s a lot of room for masturbation in the context of a scene, foreplay, mutual masturbation, etc. Sometimes, it’s just nice to get yourself off in exactly the way you want, to exactly the kink you want.

There’s also the bigger moral/ethical question of if it’s possible to be selfish with your own pleasure at all. If I want to jack off four times a day, and that means I’m not in the mood to fuck Jayden that night, I don’t know that I would consider that selfish. It’s not a positive trait in a partner , but implying that anyone is selfish for choosing to be sexual with themselves instead of a partner strikes me as anti-choice at best, and rapey at worst.


Masturbation fiction(ish) by Jayden:

“Play with yourself.”

It was all Master said before he got in the shower. The “don’t cum” was implied.

I lay on the bed, naked, legs spread, wondering what the hell I was going to do with myself for fifteen minutes. I was also hoping his shower wouldn’t be a long one. Sometimes that happened.

When was the last time I had masturbated? I couldn’t remember. We played so often that I rarely had the urge.

I ran the tips of my fingers from my shoulders down my sides, over my hips, and then across my thighs, meeting at my pussy. I felt my arousal already. The slight stubble across my mound since I’d shaved that morning tingled the tips of my fingers. I slid my fingers down along my slit, feeling the wetness. I gently pressed one, then another finger inside myself. It was warm and soft, and I had to be careful not to scratch myself with my long nails.

My other hand traveled back up my body, stopping at my breasts. My nipples weren’t hard yet, but one slight touch and the left one perked up. I gently squeezed it, and the mild pain coursed through my body, making me even more aroused. I pinched the other one to the same effect.

I couldn’t help but rub at my swollen clit with my right hand, and I knew that if I didn’t stop soon, I would orgasm. I trailed my juices up my body and cupped a breast in each hand. They were heavy and big. I loved them. Definitely one of my best assets. I rolled my nipples between my finger and thumb, rotating my hips, imagining Master between my legs, thrusting his big cock into me.

Closing my eyes, I strained to hear if he had turned the water in the shower off, but he hadn’t.

My right hand slid back down to my pussy, playing along my folds before focusing on my clit again. I pinched my left nipple with my other hand.

This was too much. I was going to cum. I trailed my right hand back up again, more juices covering my mound. I could smell it. I smelled like sex. It just turned me on more.

I gripped both breasts hard, leaving nail marks. The pain felt good. I pinched both nipples, pulling at them, making myself gasp in pain.

And then I heard the water turn off.

I kept hurting myself, my pussy clenching, my hips thrusting at the air.

“What a slut you are,” Master said as he rounded the corner into the bedroom. “I can smell you from here.”

I couldn’t help but grin. Masturbating was fun, but I was sure whatever he had in mind would be even more fun.

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group #IWSG

The Insecure Writer's Support Group

We’re back for a third month of The Insecure Writer’s Support Group! Getting into the groove!

If you’d like to chime in and let us know your answers to the questions or drop a link to your post if you’re participating, please do so in the comments! And check out the IWSG website for more answers!


June 2 – For how long do you shelve your first draft, before reading it and re-drafting? Is this dependent on your writing experience and the number of stories/books under your belt?

Continue reading

Happy Mother’s Day!

So first, a mea culpa: We didn’t get Chapter 10 of Vacation up this week. Sorry! We even wrote more than half of it, but just…didn’t make it. I’m going to blame shared custody of my daughter and divorce things. It was a very productive and good weekend, but it was hectic and busy. I’ve been very much enjoying my quieter lifestyle of late.

Anyway, we’ll be back next week with Chapter 10 of Vacation. Promise!!

– Jayden


Happy Mother’s Day!

We want to wish a Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers out there. Whether you’re a biological mom, adopted mom, bonus mom, step mom, furbaby mom, dad who had to be both mom and dad, or any other configuration, we want to wish you a pleasant day! We know how tough parenting is! (And also, lots of love to those who are struggling with their relationships with their moms and to those who’ve lost their moms. Hang in there!)

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group #IWSG

The Insecure Writer's Support Group

We’re back for a second month of The Insecure Writer’s Support Group! We’re mostly even on time for this one!

If you’d like to chime in and let us know your answers to the questions or drop a link to your post if you’re participating, please do so in the comments! And check out the IWSG website for more answers!


May 5 – Have any of your readers ever responded to your writing in a way that you didn’t expect? If so, did it surprise you?

Continue reading

Sexual Assault and BDSM

Hello dear readers!

Richard and I are going to bring you something TOTALLY DIFFERENT this Sunday. If you scroll back through our blog posts, almost all of our posts fall into one of two categories: BDSM Smut (or leading that direction) and answering questions like TMI Tuesday posts. This one is going to fall into neither of those categories.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month.

Let me share with you some stats:

  • Approximately 1 in 5 (21.3% or an estimated 25.5 million) women in the U.S. reported completed or attempted rape at some point in their lifetime, including completed forced penetration, attempted forced penetration, or alcohol/drug facilitated completed penetration. About 2.6% of U.S. men (an estimated 2.8 million) experienced completed or attempted rape victimization in their lifetime.
  • About 1 in 14 men (7.1% or nearly 7.9 million) in the U.S. was made to penetrate someone else (attempted or completed) at some point in their lifetime.
  • Approximately 1 in 6 women (16.1% or an estimated 19.2 million women) and approximately 1 in 10 men (9.6% or an estimated 10.6 million men) experienced sexual coercion (e.g., being worn down by someone who repeatedly asked for sex, sexual pressure due to someone using their influence or authority) at some point in their lifetime.
  • Source: https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics

It’s always shocking to me how many people experience sexual assault. I did when I was ~13 and I didn’t tell anyone until years and years later because… I don’t know. I thought I was alone, I didn’t know that anyone would care, I figured it was my fault for letting things go too far in the first place. I’ve long since dealt with how that experience shaped me and made me feel, but it’s something that’s important to me that young people need to know that they aren’t alone and that there are safe places to go and people to tell. (And for the record, I am 100% sure my parents would have believed me and supported me had I told them.)

So besides the obvious fact that it’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month, why are we bringing this up? 

Ironically, one of my absolute favorite kinks is CNC (consensual non-consent). Richard can (and has) slammed me up against a wall as soon as I walked in the door, woken me to have sex with me (by which I mean, I woke up with him touching me or grabbing me), put me in ridiculously high heels and chased me around the apartment, and countless other scenes. Even writing out the list gets me all hot and bothered. But all of those were AFTER we had a lengthy conversation about limits, desires, and safe words. He was especially wary of waking me with sex since I wasn’t awake to give consent before he started.

We wanted to take this opportunity to remind everyone that kink/BDSM and rape are NOT the same thing. Even when we’re writing and sharing CNC stories that may or may not get you all hot and bothered. I suspect next month one or both of us will debut a CNC story we’ve been working on for a while, with appropriate content warnings. 

So here are a few reminders:

  • Believe victims of sexual assault
  • BDSM requires sane consent
  • Always respect safe words
  • Put content warnings on your erotica

Resources:

We hope that you enjoy our totally consensual BDSM stories and that you can enjoy a bit of escape from reality with them. I’m back tomorrow with V is for Vacation (not to be confused with our actual Vacation story we started back in February!)

– Jayden (and Richard)

Happy Sunday!

Well, it’s the first Sunday in April which means NO A to Z Post! Did you think we would break our posting streak though? OF COURSE NOT! We’ve posted every day in March, and every day in April (so far), so we wanted to bring you a special treat today.

A to Z Challenge

The A to Z Challenge is off to a great start! If you aren’t participating and you want to, there’s still time to sign up on the website and join in the fun. If you’re here because of the A to Z Challenge, please leave a comment and let us know! Richard and I have made a bet for this A to Z Challenge, so remember to like and comment on our posts. The most comments and likes wins! A $50 book store shopping spree is at stake, so please like my posts (says Jayden!). I’m winning right now, but…Richard hasn’t posted yet. He’ll be taking over starting tomorrow through the end of the week, so show him some love, too!

If you stumbled on our little blog and have no idea what we’re talking about, start here.

Some fun news!

We went on a podcast! We decided that we wanted to get an outside perspective on the start of our relationship, so we called in to The Viall Files and got to talk to Nick! It was a fun experience to be on a podcast and to get some relationship advice, and we thought we would share it with you. Also, if you need relationship advice, Nick’s great. As it turns out, Richard said basically all the same things that Nick did, but it was still good to get an outside perspective.

Take a listen to the Podcast if you want and let us know what you think. We’re the first ones on!

Also, crazy idea, we’re going to start a new column every week in May called “Dear Jayden and Richard,” where we answer your questions about (mostly) non-traditional relationships. Ask us your questions in the comments or email us at jrvincente@gmail.com.

We’ll see you tomorrow with D is for Dungeon Mistress!

Richard is taking back over for the A to Z Challenge. He’ll also be writing about Lashes BDSM Casino Resort, but it might not be quite the same as my version. He’ll be posting one continuous story starting tomorrow, but if you didn’t read A, B, and C, you won’t be behind (though I recommend going back and reading them anyway!). It’s sure to be a good time!

31 Questions: Day 31

Marquessa Matthews challenged herself and other bloggers to answer 31 questions during the month of March. You should check out hers and comment below with a link if you’re playing along!


31 Questions
March 2021

March 31 – What are you most grateful for, right now, in this moment?

Jayden: Safety. I feel safe and loved and happy, and that’s a feeling I haven’t felt for a while.

Richard: I just had a wonderful piece of home made bread as a snack. I’m very grateful for it. It’s really not a big deal, and I’m sure it won’t be my number one in five minutes, but sometimes it’s nice to just appreciate the little things in the moment.

AND you!

Without you, our readers, what would our blog be besides talking to ourselves? We appreciate your views, likes, and comments. We love reading and responding to your messages. We’re super excited to take on the A to Z Blog Challenge, “meet” new bloggers, and most importantly, develop our blogging community even further. Feel free to drop us a line in the comments here or via email at jrvincente@gmail.com. We’d love to have your feedback!

– Jayden and Richard

31 Questions: Day 30

Marquessa Matthews challenged herself and other bloggers to answer 31 questions during the month of March. You should check out hers and comment below with a link if you’re playing along!


31 Questions
March 2021

March 30 – What’s your most urgent priority for the rest of the year?

Jayden: Happiness. Finding a new balance for myself. There have been a lot of major changes in my life recently, and balance is going to be an important part of the rest of my year.

Richard:  Getting into grad school. I need it for work, and I’m going for an MFA in Creative Writing, so I’m excited to improve my craft.

UPDATE: I got in! Still going to leave this up, since doing well in school is still going to be a major priority for me.

31 Questions: Day 29

Marquessa Matthews challenged herself and other bloggers to answer 31 questions during the month of March. You should check out hers and comment below with a link if you’re playing along!


31 Questions
March 2021

March 29 – What’s the most out-of-character choice you’ve ever made?

Jayden: Leaving my marriage of over a decade. Everyone who isn’t super close to me was very shocked. A few people who are close to me were shocked. But, in the end, it was a well thought out decision that was the best thing for myself, and I needed to make myself a priority. That right there was the thing that made it out-of-character. I always put everyone else before myself–their needs, their wants before my own. And for the first time in my life, I realized that I wasn’t happy and that I deserved to be happy.

Richard:  Ever? I don’t know, that’s a lot of decisions. In the last year or so? The way Jayden’s and my relationship began was very unusual for me, and I usually wait more than three months before I move a new partner in.

31 Questions: Day 28

Marquessa Matthews challenged herself and other bloggers to answer 31 questions during the month of March. You should check out hers and comment below with a link if you’re playing along!


31 Questions
March 2021

March 28 – Do you have a morning ritual?

Jayden: I do! I mean, ritual in the sense of I do the same thing every morning anyway. It’s mostly a taking meds, shower, brushing teeth, type of routine. I don’t know that it goes beyond that.

Richard:  Not really. I try to get up and going pretty quickly. With Covid and work from home, I usually just hop out of bed and wash up, then sign in for work. I do like to wait an hour or so from getting up before I have breakfast.