I have lots of feelings about National Coming Out Day. My personal Facebook page is currently flooded with posts from friends proclaiming who they are: bisexual, pansexual, gay, lesbian, polyamorous, kinky, and on and on. It’s wonderful to see so many friends who are comfortable enough with themselves to share it with the world. One friend remarked, “In case you didn’t know…” I smiled because I know that she is very out about her relationships. Very Out. And I am happy for her that she can be. I know so many people who are afraid to be out to their coworkers, to their family, to their friends. I know so many people who were disowned by their families because of their sexuality or gender.

So on National Coming Out Day, I applaud those who can be open about who they are and those who are supportive of those around them. I feel empathy for those who can’t be out for whatever reason. There are many parts of myself that I have to hide because of my day job. I put up with it because I love what I do, but I sometimes live in fear of being outed: outed as polyamorous, outed as kinky, outed as an erotic fiction writer. So I hide parts of myself being a pen name, but to you – my friends and (hopefully) fans, I can be true to myself: I am polyamorous, bisexual, kinky, and I write erotic fiction.

I leave you with a paraphrase of a well-known quote: Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what battles they are fighting.


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