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J is for Judged

Amelia: March 28th, 2026

What the hell was I thinking? I texted Frank this morning and asked him to go out with me tonight. What. The. Fuck. 

I shouldn’t have done that. I should not have done that. But it’s too late now. I’m not going to stand him up. One–because I don’t want to be alone. And two–because I really liked hanging out with Frank. He’s a nice guy. He was so respectful when we went to that bar the other night. And he doesn’t know me. He only knows what I tell him. Which is great. Ideal, really. I could reinvent myself. I could be a totally different person.

I walk into the bar right at 9PM. I couldn’t have timed it better if I tried. I see Frank sitting in a booth alone, and I give him a wave and a smile. He stands as I approach, and there’s a moment when we can’t decide if we’re going to hug or shake hands or… but then he opens his arms, and I step into them. He wraps his arms around me, and I nearly break down in them. He’s so warm and welcoming. I don’t want him to let go. But, of course, we can’t stand here all night, and so he finally pulls back and smiles down at me.

I smile back, and then I slide into the booth on the opposite side to where he is sitting.

The server comes over, and we order. It all feels so comfortable and smooth. I ask Frank how his day was, and he tells me about going for a run and the work he did around his place. Our food comes, and we eat while the karaoke gets started. I put a song in, but there’s a long line, so I know it’ll be a little while until they call me. I’m starting to wonder if they’re ever going to call me when I see the person who had been in front of me in line head up to the microphone. There are butterflies in my stomach as I hear him sing. He’s not bad, and not a bad act to follow, but I still get a little nervous when I sign up for these things. 

“I think I’m next,” I tell Frank.

He smiles. “I can’t believe you’re going to do it.”

“I am,” I say, even though a part of me can’t believe it either. As she gets near the end of her song, I say, “Frank, I need to tell you something.”

He cocks his head to the side as he says, “What’s that?”

“Don’t judge me,” I say, “but today, I spent the day at my fiance’s funeral. That’s why I was at the concert alone. He died on Sunday.”