Happy Saturday everybody! Here’s the last part of our behind the scenes look at Lashes before I hand things back off to Jayden.

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U is for Undewear

by Richard

So, now that we’re at the end of our time, there’s one final form I want to tell you about. As you might expect, people bring a lot of interesting things with them when they come to stay with us. Jewelry, sex toys, costumes, you name it, we’ve seen it. And sometimes, people leave that stuff behind. Sometimes it’s on purpose. A lot of people want to keep their kink life separate from their home life. So they buy a nice set of lingerie, wear it once while they’re here, and just leave it. Other times, they just forget. We try to contact them, but if they don’t pick up or don’t want them back, what can we do? It’s not like we’re going to mail a box of dildos to someone’s apartment out of the blue. Likewise, we can’t exactly donate them. The local thrift store isn’t looking to put out a rack of assless chaps, twelve-inch heels, and cockrings.

We do, however, have state-of-the-art laundry and sterilization facilities on-premises. There’s no other way to do the kinds of shows we do. We looked into disposables, but throwing out a few tons of dildos a year is hardly environmentally friendly.

In the end, we decided to put them through the same process we do with our show outfits and toys. Ultraviolet light, autoclave, the works. Honestly, our vibrators are probably cleaner than the silverware at our restaurants. So, if you see something you like, or you don’t have the right outfit for a night out on the town, you can check something out of The Vault. Typically, you can only take things for a few days at a time, but if The Vault has too many of something, we might give some stuff away as a prize or retirement gift or auction it off for charity.

The biggest Vault event of the year is on Earth Day. A week or two beforehand, they open it up and let everyone dig through. You can take as many things as you want to make an act. We’ve had all kinds of stuff, comedy routines, sex toy battle royales, fashion shows.

Here’s the one that won last year:

The lights came up on the stage. A half dozen mannequins were spot-lit, each one in a different set of lingerie or a costume. In the center is a bench. Our two leads, a man and a woman, walked onto the stage, naked. 

“So,” the woman asked, “Which one do you want tonight?”

She walked over to one of the mannequins and pulled the outfit off. It was a too short tartan pleated skirt, a white blouse, and a matching neckerchief. She quickly changed into them, walking back over to the man and bending over. “Do you want me to be a bad little girl for you to punish?” He pulled a paddle out from behind the bench and swatted her with it, the SMACK of the impact echoing through the theater.

She rubbed her ass a couple times, then went over to the closet mannequin. “Two can play at that game,” she said, slipping the schoolgirl outfit off and sliding into the black leather corset. She walked back over to him and took the paddle, giving him a slap back. That drew a bunch of oohs and laughs from the crowd.

Tossing the paddle aside, she walked over to another mannequin, quickly changing into a set of all-white bridal lingerie. “We have any honeymooners in the audience?” she called. Of course not, we were all at work. But we gave her a couple hoots and hollers anyway to be good sports. She shoved him down on the bench and climbed on top. They went at it pretty hard for about thirty seconds (there was fierce debate among the audience if there was any actual penetration) before they flopped down against each other.

“Don’t worry, it’ll get better with practice.”

She tossed the garter into the audience and strode over to the next mannequin, which was totally naked except for a pair of six-inch stilettos. Slipping into them, she walked back over to the bench, swinging her hips. 

The guy looked up at her and smiled, “I don’t think I’ve ever kissed a woman taller than me before,” he said, standing on his tiptoes as she leaned down. Unlike the sex, this one was definitely real, and it went on for close to five minutes (we trimmed it down to about one in the staged version). None of that awful television face-eating kissing either. You did get to see plenty of tongue, though.

Both of them walked over to the fifth mannequin and reached for the outfit on it at the same time.

“Hands off,” said the guy. “These are boy shorts, and this boy is going to show them off!” He snatched them off before she could say anything and put them on, striding up to the front of the stage for a nice strut and some air humps. It was a good bit. 

After letting him go for a bit, she walked over to the last mannequin and grabbed the collar, and leash off of it, sliding it around his neck and dragging him off stage.

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I’m going to be honest, I hate the way this one came out. “U is for Underwear” and doing something with lingerie and stuff the guests of the resort left behind was one of my first ideas for this A to Z. But no matter how many different ways I tried to write it, I hated the actual story. Maybe I’ll give it another try some day. -Richard