Welcome to another TMI Tuesday blog.

1. In a D/s relationship (dominance and submission) , what do you enjoy most?

I am a switch, so this is a very difficult question. I really like it all. I’m bi, poly, and a switch. But I can say that when things get tough and I crave something, it’s being submissive. Nothing centers me like serving someone else.

2. What do you want people to know most about D/s relationships?

I want people to know that no two D/s relationships look the same and THAT’S OKAY! As long as everyone involved are consenting adults, you can make your relationship look however you want to. Don’t get bogged down in what it “should” be, or what someone else is doing. Do what feels right to you and your partner(s).

3. For you, does D/s need to have a sadist and masochist component?

Maybe a little. But I love to write about Doms who are more caring than harsh. Impact play is fun, for sure. I’m not sure I could do without it in my primary relationship at this point. But it doesn’t exist in all of my other relationships.

4. For you, does BDSM have to involve sex?

It is sexual for me, but it doesn’t have to be for everyone. Many of the BDSM things I enjoy are very sexual/sensual.

5. If you are in a D/s relationship, why do you need it?

I need to feel grounded. I keep coming back to this idea that it centers me to serve someone else, but it really does. It’s an important part of who I am.

6. If you are not in a D/s relationship, would you like to be? Why?

So, obviously, I am. But I miss having a sub of my own. Even just a sub to play with occasionally. Having a Dom is wonderful. I couldn’t live without it. But it’s been a while since I’ve had a sub, and I would love to have one again. Someone who can serve and respect us both. Maybe someday soon.

Bonus:   What is the relationship between trust and vulnerability?

I can’t be vulnerable without trust. I trust easily. Too easily sometimes. And sometimes I’m too vulnerable because of it. But usually, the vulnerability comes after the trust has been earned for my husband, too, and that takes longer. He’s a really good judge of people.

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