On Tuesday, I answered the TMI Tuesday questions, as I do (mostly) every week they’re posted. For some reason, I had a lot to say this week. So much, in fact, that I’m making a SECOND post. So here we go… The question was a simple one. Favorite quote. I realized that I didn’t have a favorite quote. Though, if I’m being honest, I have trouble choosing a favorite anything. I can’t give you a favorite song, but can I share a playlist? I might be able to give you a favorite book, maybe, but… ahh… yes, I can give you one, but there are SO many others that come close. I can’t give you a favorite movie. How about a marathon?
Listen, I’ve already acknowledged (at least to myself) that I like WAY TOO MANY THINGS.
I’m bisexual (though…that might need some exploration).
I’m a switch.
If you google those three keywords, you get the addendum of “I’m not indecisive, I’m just greedy.” Well then. There was an alternate, “I’m not greedy, I know what I want.” ~Brenda Howard.” I like that better. I’m not greedy. I know how to share. I just like it all.
This is a problem in my writing. I don’t want to write a novel that’s FemDom or MaleDom. I want one of each. Some of both. Switch it up. Why not? And there have to be readers who want that, too! So that’s what I write the majority of the time.
I got off track. Whoops.
The quote from Tuesday that I chose (ha) was, “I choose you. And I’ll choose you, over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you.”
Here’s the thing about being poly. There are so many things that assume a couple is just a couple and can’t be more. Greeting cards, marriage ceremonies (you better believe I wrote my own), quotes, romantic comedies, even romance novels, and so on. And most them presume that there’s one person and often this idea of a soul mate. Listen, I love a good romance novel. I love a good romantic comedy. But in my real life, I don’t believe any of that bull shit. I have found (currently) FOUR amazing people who I love deeply. FOUR! And they love me back! (How the hell could I be this lucky? I don’t know. It’s unfair.)
But here’s the thing that makes me angry about those greeting cards and quotes that assume there’s ONE person for everyone. (And this isn’t about being poly, because this applies to *everyone*.) If, god forbid, something happens to me, I want all four of my partners to move on with their lives and be happy. Date someone else (most of them already are), get married (in the case of the person I’m married to), have kids (if that makes you happy, most of them are beyond wanting them), DO WHATEVER IT IS THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY WHEN IT COMES TO RELATIONSHIPS! I don’t want any of them to sit around missing me! In the words of Tony Stark, “Don’t feel bad about this. I mean, if you grovel for a couple of weeks, and then move on with enormous guilt.” It was kind of a tongue-in-cheek line, in my opinion, but I would hope that they would move on should something happen to me. (And let’s face it, in this world, the odds are increasingly likely we aren’t all going to make it.)
Ah shit, I wanted this to be an escape from reality, but here we are. Sigh. I tried.
So my point is that I hope none of you buy into the BS about one right person, even if you are monogamous (which is totally cool). Be open to love. There’s not enough love in the world.
Ah shit. (Hey, I just said that.) I know my favorite quote now. My mom always says:
Love freely, because there isn’t enough love in this world.
She’s been saying that for decades. And it’s even more fucking true now than it was then. Go out (not literally, fucking pandemic) and spread some love today.