We did this long ago, but we decided to bring back and a once-a-month chance to share what’s going well in our lives, and welcome you to share what’s good in your lives! Please comment below and let us know what’s good! Feel free to be vague or specific. We’re just happy to share good things!
What’s good!?
Camping season is almost upon us! We’re SO excited to get into our new (to us) RV. We’re very excited to be able to sleep there, spend time with our friends, and get settled into our home-away-from-home! Pictures to come once we get settled!
We did this long ago, but we decided to bring back and a once-a-month chance to share what’s going well in our lives, and welcome you to share what’s good in your lives! Please comment below and let us know what’s good! Feel free to be vague or specific. We’re just happy to share good things!
This drink:
Richard took me to Plaza Azteca where I discovered this drink called Bonita Azul: Hornitos Tequila, Peach schnapps, Blue Curacao, and House Margarita Mix. It’s a drink literally made for me.
So we’ll sit and eat yummy food and read and toast to another good month full of love and laughter.
Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the latest question in our Bloganuary series!
Write a short story or poem about rain.
Jayden:
The rain wouldn’t stop pouring outside. It had been days and days and days. All anyone wanted was a break from the rain. But mother nature didn’t comply. “Master?” I said, kneeling at my Dom’s feet.
“Yes, pet?”
“I want to be able to go outside again.”
“I know, pet,” he said, and he scritched me behind the ear.
My favorite thing to do was for Master to take me outside on my leash, sometimes making me pee outside. I loved the feeling of the cool grass on my legs and hands, tickling me as I crawled around. I loved feeling the cool breeze across my naked body. But when it rained, cool became cold and exhilarating became uncomfortable.
“Maybe I’ll make you go outside anyway, pet.”
I whimpered, but even as I protested, my pussy dripped with arousal at the thought of being forced by my Master.
Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the second question in our Bloganuary series!
What brings you joy in life?
Jayden: Doing things for others. I like being able to help other people. It’s almost a curse. All I want is a thank you, and I’m happy to do almost anything. (That might be why I lean so heavily submissive…)
Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the second question in our Bloganuary series!
What is a treasure that’s been lost?
Jayden: My mom lost my grandmother’s diamond engagement ring. She inherited it when my grandmother passed away. She was devastated. I assured her that it wasn’t a big deal (it wasn’t valuable, just sentimental) and that we had our pictures and memories that were more important. That was almost a decade ago and it chokes me up when I think about it, but I won’t tell my mom because it will just upset her.
Richard: The ability to take Swiss Army Knives on a plane.
Hello readers! We’re here with the answer to the second question in our Bloganuary series!
What is the earliest memory you have?
Jayden: I have a very vague memory of my mom’s best friend’s house that she sold when I was 3 or 4. Other than that, I remember watching TV with my parents and playing school in Kindergarten. Nothing particularly crazy.
Richard: My mom yelling at me for brushing my teeth wrong. Like, I spit and it got on her toothbrush or something. I was 2? 3?
Hello readers! Jayden here with the answer to the second question in our Bloganuary series!
How are you brave?
Jayden: I have an intense dislike of change. My therapist and I have spoken about it at length. And yet, I took a huge step ~2 years ago and ended my 12+ year marriage. It was a super difficult thing to do, but it was the right thing to do for myself. It took a lot of bravery to take that step, but I am much happier now, and I’m glad I did it.
Hello readers! We’re here today to bring you the first in a returning series: Bloganuary! Honestly, we totally forgot about this until the email popped up from them today. Whoops! So, surprise, you get a little tidbit from (at least) one of us every day in January to kick off the year! But don’t worry, our other plans haven’t changed at all.
Bloganuary is a challenge to blog every day in January with a prompt from WordPress. The prompts don’t come out until almost the day of, so we have to write every day for it to work.
44% of the time, we had only one sexual encounter per day.
One time, we had seven in a day. Twice we had six in a day. Seven times we had five in a day.
Of those seven times, three of them were the last three days of the year.
In the last week of 2021, we had sex 29 times. 19 of those were on our elope-moon.
In 2021, there was only one week we went down to less than four days.
There were only three weeks we had five or less sexes in a week. The lowest was four, and it was one week.
What did we learn from all of this?
Tracking how often we have sex is hard. We probably missed a few numbers in there because we thought it was once or twice, so we went with once.
Tracking how often we have sex makes it sometimes feel like a chore. “Oh, we’re falling behind, we should have an extra today,” or “Let’s just do this quick so we can put a number on the spreadsheet.” (That’s not to say that we don’t have a very active sex life naturally, but there are times when we are exhausted!)
We are glad that we tracked it, and we had a good time doing it, but we’re glad that it’s over. We’ll probably keep track in 2022, but just for curiosity’s sake.
Apparently we have a much more active sex life than most? Feel free to tell us we’re wrong and that you’re just as active!
Thanks for following along on our sex journey from 2021! We hope you had all got to have some lovely sex of your own!
Before I had come over for the day, we had made a plan. The plan was to have a quickie and then get our work done. But when he touched me, and when he kissed me, I stopped caring about being productive. I just wanted to be with him.
“I’m going to drink the rest of this iced tea, and then we can go in the bedroom,” he said.
I was jittery. So jittery. “That sounds good,” I said. I wasn’t sure what else to say. Despite the fact that I write about sex all the time and we had been roleplaying sexual encounters online for a week, I was embarrassed to talk dirty to him. Super embarrassed to say anything, to call him Sir out loud, even though I had done it once or twice on the phone already, and I did it in text all the time.
But could I do it in person?
I was about to find out.
Waiting for him to finish his drink was torture. Watching him sip at it slowly, talking about completely normal things. I wanted him to hurry up and finish the drink, but I was so nervous. We had talked about so many things, so many options. The thing that stuck out the most to me was that he wanted to fuck my ass. It was the first thing he wanted from me.
And here’s the thing. It had been a really long time since someone had been in my ass. Once upon a time, I had been using plugs to keep my ass nice and ready, but that time had long passed. My husband Nick and I had previously agreed no one else could fuck my ass, which was fine with me because I didn’t really like it anyway. It was hot in theory, but I didn’t love it in practice.
And Nick hadn’t shown any particular interest, so I was sure my ass was going to be very tight. On top of that, I had a feeling that Richard could last a long time. And then what? Would it hurt a lot? Would it just get worse and worse as time went on?
I had spent the previous 24 hours trying to stretch my ass out for him, fingering it, even using a small plug, but I knew that it would all pale in comparison to Richard actually fucking my ass. I’ve always said that size isn’t as important as society would want us to believe, but Richard was a fair amount bigger than Nick. And when it came to anal, that size seemed…substantial. I just sat there, equal parts excited and worried. It was intoxicating.
He finished his drink and put the cup on the table. “Let’s go in the bedroom.”
Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?
Richard: I don’t think so. Since I default to being a Dom, it’s not really a problem.
Jayden: I’m not sure that I’ve been without a dominant partner, since I understood that I was submissive. There have definitely been lulls over the years where my partner wasn’t feeling particularly dominant, and then I did a lot of fantasizing about submission. I give myself tasks to do (which of course is not nearly as much fun), but I definitely missed it when it wasn’t there.
Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
Richard: I don’t like overly dependent subs. There’s a line between playing needy, pathetic, little, etc. and legit being unable to function, and it’s not sexy when it gets crossed.
Jayden: Within myself, I can’t think of anything. Sometimes I get a little embarrassed thinking about the degrading stuff I do that I love. But then the embarrassment turns me on, so… In others, as Richard said, there’s a line there. Bedroom submission is great, but when someone is dependent on me for literally everything, it’s a big turn off.
Can you feel dominant without a submissive partner? If so, how does your dominance express itself? If not, how do you handle your dominance or dominance feelings?
Richard: I’ve often compared the feeling I get from a good scene to when everything clicks in writing, or when I do well in a difficult game, solve a difficult problem, etc. I don’t know if it’s just all happy chemicals, if it’s all similar from a planning/control perspective, or what. When I don’t have a “real” sub I tend to spend a lot more time on chat sites and the like.
Jayden: I can’t. I lean so far submissive naturally that it takes the right partner to bring out the Domme in me.
Is there anything about dominance (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own dominant feelings?
Richard: Just the general use of dominance for cover for assholish or abusive behavior. There were definitely times when I felt guilty about being a Dom when I was much younger, like sixteen or seventeen, but I think that’s the only time.
Jayden: Exactly what Richard said. There are so many abusive “doms” who either use it as a cover or just don’t understand the difference. I remember when a friend was looking for a Dom, she had a hell of a time with it.
We’d love to hear your answers! Feel free to answer some/all in the comments or give us links to your blog if you answered them there!
It could have been our only day. At the time, I didn’t want it to be our only day together, but it could have been. It could have been the worst decision I’ve ever made or the best decision of my life. I feel like there’s no in-between.
I got in the car first thing in the morning, and I knew that I had about 15 minutes to decide. I could change my mind now, and nothing would happen. But I knew for myself that if I drove in that direction, my course was set. But then again, if I hadn’t been sure about it, I wouldn’t have made the plan or gotten in the car. But I did.
I just had to hope that I wasn’t going to regret it.
How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Richard: I have a fair number of D/s friends (and a few mostly vanilla ones that I talk kink with.) I’ve used a variety of kink and kink-adjacent websites, chat rooms etc., and have made some lasting friends there. I’ve been to munches, etc. in the past, and would like to start going again.
Jayden: And hey, we did that! We went to one munch so far in our local area, and we’ll probably go to more. I am excited because I have now met another submissive who I have formed a good friendship with. It’s so, so nice to be able to talk about kinky things and not have people look at you strangely. When you say things like, “He choked me last and it was so fucking hot!” or “Look at this bruise!” We were just remarking the other day at a dinner party that it was fun to be at a dinner party where it was totally acceptable for me to whip out my chest to show off a bruise.
In general, my submission had a behind-closed-doors feel to it, but I am really glad to say that that is no longer the case. I am excited to be more social about it and connect with other kinky people.
Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?
Richard: Being tied up makes me squirmy and bratty.
Jayden: Kneeling is generally a good one. Anything that puts me physically below my Dom (though I’m short, so that’s most of the time anyway). And, as Richard said, tie me up!
How socially connected is your dominance? Do you look for others to talk to about your dominance for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Richard: It comes and goes. I like to have kinky friends to talk about these sorts of things with. I have a handful of good friends who are generally involved in kink, so I usually have at least a few to talk to. One of our friends recently got involved in a new relationship that’s significantly kinkier than most of his prior ones, so it’s nice to talk to him and his new partner about it. I don’t really like to go to kink events solo, but if I have a partner it’s fun to go out. More rarely I’ll go with a friend.
Jayden: I haven’t been dominant enough to have any kind of support or networking. I guess you could say that for a brief time, I was being dominant in text with a sub and Richard was coaching me through it. That was definitely helpful.
Is there a physical position that makes you feel most dominant?
Richard: Putting my sub in a face down-ass up position is good. And of course, you can’t beat having someone kneeling at your feet.
Jayden: (For the record, I didn’t read Richard’s dominant responses before I wrote my own submissive ones. Yeah, we’re on the same page almost all the time…) As a Domme, having someone kneel at my feet, especially someone who is usually taller than me is hot. I like it when they have that pleading look in their eye. It makes me feel powerful.
We’d love to hear your answers! Feel free to answer some/all in the comments or give us links to your blog if you answered them there!
We spent the next week trying to figure out what the hell we were going to do about everything. We were developing feelings for each other, and now that we had acknowledged that, they were moving quickly. But we hadn’t had sex yet. And that was driving me crazy.
One of the days Richard came over to my house, he said, “You know, I think we should wait until after Thanksgiving to have sex.”
I wanted to be okay with it, but… He whispered to me so that no one else could hear, “You aren’t used to being told no, are you?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t. I generally got what I wanted, and I liked it that way. Richard was going to be an interesting challenge.
What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?
Richard: Trusting my Dominant to set up a scene that we can both enjoy, be safe, etc.
Jayden: Being able to let go and trust in my Dominant is most of what makes it alluring to me. Knowing that he (or she) will take care of me, push me right to the edge, and be there to hold me when it’s over is the deepest trust.
Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Richard: I’m a very chatty sub, I think it’s nervous energy. I’m perfectly willing to beg and whine for what I want/need. If I don’t get it, sometimes I switch back into Dom space and take it anyway.
Jayden: When I get into that submissive headspace, I find it very hard to have an opinion. I just want to please my Dom. I don’t care about anything else. I get off on his pleasure. So it’s hard to express anything for me. If I need to, I will. And often Richard asks what I want. Usually my answer is something along the lines of, “Whatever you want, Sir.” And I mean that. 100%.
What does trust mean to you in the context of domination?
Richard: That I’ll take care of my submissive and make sure they’re safe, limits are respected, that sort of thing.
Jayden: Having someone put their trust in me to protect them and respect their limits in a kinky scene is a lot of responsibility. It’s also the reason I am not great at taking on long-term submissives.
Very often the stereotype of dominance is that the dominant person gets anything they want, without regard for the sub. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your dominance and how do you communicate with your sub?
Richard: Jayden and I both like doing questionnaires, checklists, etc. so we’ve done quite a few of those to help get a feel for where we both feel on certain kinks. We try to pick a few kinks, questions, etc. and talk about them when we go for a walk, drive, etc. Sometimes, we both write out our answers ahead of time and swap them to help make sure we’re giving an honest one.
Jayden: As a Domme, I love the questionnaires and checklists Richard mentioned. And although I like being dominant from time to time, I’m usually doing it to fulfil someone else’s desires. That’s the core of all of my kink. So finding out what they are interested in ahead of time is crucial for me.
We’d love to hear your answers! Feel free to answer some/all in the comments or give us links to your blog if you answered them there!
After our kiss, okay, several kisses, we got back to work. At least, for a little while.
“May I please go pee, Sir?” I asked. I had been asking him for permission to pee for… I don’t know how long. A few weeks, I think. It was another thing with us that I don’t know how it happened, but it did. I suppose it was probably in response to some kind of fiction I wrote and a text conversation we had. Nick wasn’t into water sports, so I had no one to play with, and Richard was. Richard was happy to give me permission (or not) to pee. It was hot.
“You may,” he said.
I groaned.
“What’s wrong?”
“My pants are soaked through,” I said. “Putting them back on is going to be gross.”
“Do you want another pair of pants?” he asked.
“Oh, maybe,” I said.
“You can let yours dry out before you have to go. Let me see what I have.”
He rummaged around in his drawers and came up with a pair of pants that had Batman logos on them. I went into the bathroom, did my thing, and put them on. There was no full-length mirror in there, but I put them on and looked down, and all I could think was that they made my thighs look massive.
I was very insecure about my body. I rarely, if ever, felt attractive. One of my biggest concerns with meeting Richard the way I had was that he hadn’t really seen me in person much. What if he didn’t like the way I looked when he saw me naked? What if he didn’t like my thighs and ass?
I almost took the pants off and put my wet ones back on, but then I decided…fuck it. He hadn’t seen me naked yet, but if he didn’t like me in the pants, he definitely wasn’t going to like me naked.
We came across this set of questions that we thought we would answer for you in the absence of the Erotic Journal Challenge. Though, for us, this set of questions was very tame, haha. But here are my answers, and next week, Richard will answer them! Feel free to play along and answer the questions in a comment or drop the link to your blog where you answered the questions!
1. Have you ever had sex in three or more positions in one session?
Oh yeah, absolutely. Fun times. 🙂
2. Have you ever had sex continuously for 1 hour or more?
Intercourse? I don’t think so. But a sexual scene, absolutely.
3. Have you ever devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating, etc)?
Yes! Richard and I did that just recently, in fact.
4. Have you ever been so loud having sex that housemates/neighbors commented or complained?
Yeah, I’ve been heard before. I can get quite loud.
5. Have you ever had your sexual technique/style/skill openly praised by someone?
Yes. I like getting compliments. I work hard for them.
6. Have you ever written an explicitly erotic story?
We thought that we would take an opportunity on Wednesdays to share what’s good in our lives and welcome you to share what’s good in your lives! Please comment below and let us know what’s good! Feel free to be vague or specific. We’re just happy to share good things!
Jayden: We got a couch! It’s very comfy, we didn’t have to put it together, and it comes with storage!
OpenClosedStorage!Kitty approved!
Richard has also been making me lots of delicious food this week since he isn’t working. He keeps telling me that he would make a great stay-at-home-husband, if only I made enough $$$!
Over easy eggs with homemade sourdough biscuit.Leftover Chinese food with eggs cracked on top baked in the oven in cast iron skillet.
Richard: I’m available if anyone is looking for a kept man. Besides being Jayden’s Master, I’m also the snack master. I promise I make stuff without eggs too, she just doesn’t take pictures of them.
Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
Richard: I do not. No Dom I’ve been with has ever asked for it, and I don’t think I’m particularly interested in doing it anyway. In general, I think it’s a rather dangerous kink, though obviously not in the traditional way. Realistically, a lot of relationships already have financial dynamics that may or may not be sexual. If it’s okay to pay for sex, or to rely on your partner financially, I don’t think making a kink out of it necessarily does any harm.
Jayden: I haven’t, and I don’t think I would. I don’t have a lot of extra money, so I don’t know how it would be helpful. And, as much as I enjoy depending on my Dom for lots of things, finances isn’t one of them. I like knowing that I can stand on my own and take care of myself.
Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?
Richard: It’s not, but I think I could enjoy it. Because I only sub sporadically and for short time periods, it doesn’t really come up. I’d be interested in it. I think it’d be fun, and I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, which could play into it. Don’t get me fired. That’s definitely a limit.
Jayden: Yes, absolutely. In fact, the more I feel like he’s using me for his pleasure, the more I like it.
Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit? If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?
Richard: It doesn’t. My religious background is pretty sex-negative. I do have a Domme friend who does some religious play, and it’s never really interested me. Overall, I’d say more similar than non, it’s just another “flavor.”
Jayden: Nope. It’s just not a thing for me. I do like that Richard calls me goddess sometimes (note the lowercase g!) but that’s not based in religion. I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who had that particular kink, but as Richard said, it’s similar to other types of kink, especially ‘taboo’ ones.
Do you include financial domination within the definition of your own dominance and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial domination? Do you have an opinion about financial domination in general?
Richard: I’d love to have a pay pig, sugar daddy/mommy slut, whatever. Who doesn’t want some extra spending money, or someone to buy me fun toys (which I can then use on other subs for extra fun)? Jayden and I sort of played around with this before we left her other partner. Another partner I had had a toy that an ex Dom had bought for her, that she “wasn’t supposed” to use with anyone else. That added a fun little twist to using it. I’m more comfortable doing fin Dom as a Dom than as a sub.
Jayden: As a Domme, I’m not sure I could do it. It sounds fun, and like Richard said, it would be fun to have a little extra from time to time, but I think I would feel bad about it.
Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your dominance? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?
Richard: For me, some degree of availability or free use is a basic part of sexual submission. For Jayden, this is more or less literally true, I can do what I want, when I want, no questions asked. For other subs, this was more of a role play affectations. Generally, I try to be flexible about using it in compromising or public situations, though they’re also one of my favorite times to use it. As I remind Jayden, “what’s the point of having a slave if you have to ask?”
Jayden: I think it is to an extent, but as Richard said with submission, I’m mostly a sub, so as a Domme, I don’t know if it works quite the same way. That being said, if I want my sub, I want them on my time.
Does religion have any bearing on your decision to dominate? If not, are you familiar with religious based dominance and do you view it as similar to other types of dominance or dissimilar?
Richard: I’ve done some religious play with some subs, but it’s not one of my primary dynamics. Jayden calls me the God of Rape sometimes. If it’s literally religious based, as opposed to just a roleplay scenario or something, it sounds pretty ripe for abuse.
Jayden: Nope, not at all. I’ve never even attempted it, and I don’t know that I would. It’s one thing to be (as Richard said) the God or Goddess of something, but I don’t think that’s exactly what we’re talking about here.
We’d love to hear your answers! Feel free to answer some/all in the comments or give us links to your blog if you answered them there!
J R Vincente 