We’re continuing answering the questions from our list. Check last week’s if you missed them!
What does trust mean to you in the context of submission?
Richard: Trusting my Dominant to set up a scene that we can both enjoy, be safe, etc.
Jayden: Being able to let go and trust in my Dominant is most of what makes it alluring to me. Knowing that he (or she) will take care of me, push me right to the edge, and be there to hold me when it’s over is the deepest trust.
Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Richard: I’m a very chatty sub, I think it’s nervous energy. I’m perfectly willing to beg and whine for what I want/need. If I don’t get it, sometimes I switch back into Dom space and take it anyway.
Jayden: When I get into that submissive headspace, I find it very hard to have an opinion. I just want to please my Dom. I don’t care about anything else. I get off on his pleasure. So it’s hard to express anything for me. If I need to, I will. And often Richard asks what I want. Usually my answer is something along the lines of, “Whatever you want, Sir.” And I mean that. 100%.
What does trust mean to you in the context of domination?
Richard: That I’ll take care of my submissive and make sure they’re safe, limits are respected, that sort of thing.
Jayden: Having someone put their trust in me to protect them and respect their limits in a kinky scene is a lot of responsibility. It’s also the reason I am not great at taking on long-term submissives.
Very often the stereotype of dominance is that the dominant person gets anything they want, without regard for the sub. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your dominance and how do you communicate with your sub?
Richard: Jayden and I both like doing questionnaires, checklists, etc. so we’ve done quite a few of those to help get a feel for where we both feel on certain kinks. We try to pick a few kinks, questions, etc. and talk about them when we go for a walk, drive, etc. Sometimes, we both write out our answers ahead of time and swap them to help make sure we’re giving an honest one.
Jayden: As a Domme, I love the questionnaires and checklists Richard mentioned. And although I like being dominant from time to time, I’m usually doing it to fulfil someone else’s desires. That’s the core of all of my kink. So finding out what they are interested in ahead of time is crucial for me.