We’re continuing answering the questions from our list. Check last time’s if you missed them!
Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?
Richard: I don’t think so. Since I default to being a Dom, it’s not really a problem.
Jayden: I’m not sure that I’ve been without a dominant partner, since I understood that I was submissive. There have definitely been lulls over the years where my partner wasn’t feeling particularly dominant, and then I did a lot of fantasizing about submission. I give myself tasks to do (which of course is not nearly as much fun), but I definitely missed it when it wasn’t there.
Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
Richard: I don’t like overly dependent subs. There’s a line between playing needy, pathetic, little, etc. and legit being unable to function, and it’s not sexy when it gets crossed.
Jayden: Within myself, I can’t think of anything. Sometimes I get a little embarrassed thinking about the degrading stuff I do that I love. But then the embarrassment turns me on, so… In others, as Richard said, there’s a line there. Bedroom submission is great, but when someone is dependent on me for literally everything, it’s a big turn off.
Can you feel dominant without a submissive partner? If so, how does your dominance express itself? If not, how do you handle your dominance or dominance feelings?
Richard: I’ve often compared the feeling I get from a good scene to when everything clicks in writing, or when I do well in a difficult game, solve a difficult problem, etc. I don’t know if it’s just all happy chemicals, if it’s all similar from a planning/control perspective, or what. When I don’t have a “real” sub I tend to spend a lot more time on chat sites and the like.
Jayden: I can’t. I lean so far submissive naturally that it takes the right partner to bring out the Domme in me.
Is there anything about dominance (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own dominant feelings?
Richard: Just the general use of dominance for cover for assholish or abusive behavior. There were definitely times when I felt guilty about being a Dom when I was much younger, like sixteen or seventeen, but I think that’s the only time.
Jayden: Exactly what Richard said. There are so many abusive “doms” who either use it as a cover or just don’t understand the difference. I remember when a friend was looking for a Dom, she had a hell of a time with it.