Human Furniture

We’re a little bit late with our post for today, and it’s not a continuation of our previous Sunday story. So to make up for it, you get this fun standalone piece Richard wrote for Kinktober. The prompt was human furniture, and I think he takes a fun and sexy take on it. Enjoy!


“Welcome to SUBKEA. What can we get for you today?” the salessub asked. He had a ballgag dangling around his neck. You could tell he really wanted to put it on, but that’s how working retail is–can’t dress how you want. The rest of his outfit was black leather (spill-resistant, I would later learn) save for the glass tabletop on his back.

“We’re looking for a new chair,” I said, nodding towards you. “This one is getting a little worn out.”

It was true; your upholstery was worn through on your ass. “And I want to treat her to something nice for our anniversary.”

“Aww, congratulations!” he said, “Did you want to stick with the fabric or switch to leather?”

“You can pick, sweetie. It’s your present after all.”

“What do you recommend?” you asked him. “I want to be nice and cozy. I’m helping him decorate a new reading nook for his present.”

It was a good thing he didn’t have the ballgag in; I’m pretty sure he threw up in his mouth a little.

“Oh, definitely leather then. We can set it up like a cute little study. Do you smoke?” he asked me. “We’ve got some great new stuff that you can put a cigar out on and barely mark it up at all.”

“I don’t,” I said. “But I could definitely start.”

“Mmm, let’s get you a tweed jacket. You can be my professor anytime, Daddy.” My chair wrapped her arms around mine, looking up and winking at me. The salesub lead us towards the back of the store. I got a sharp elbow to the ribs, followed by a little pout when I looked at a pair of chubby subs for a little too long, their Master and Mistress able to use them together as a love seat.

“So, this is our best-seller, DEVOTION. It comes in two pieces, like most of our armchairs. The frame is oak, good and solid, ergonomically designed to put minimal pressure on the sub, just enough to give you that safe feeling. We start with a frame size, you’re probably a medium, and then custom cut it to you.”

He slid onto the floor, effortlessly contorting himself around, back resting on the curved bottom of the frame, legs back with his knees over his head. They were bent at a ninety-degree angle to form the back while he brought his arms up, forming a perfect cupholder. He was very good at his job.

“Then you have the seat and back cushion. This suit is a little leaner than we’d recommend. Did you want to try the frame first? You’re both welcome to sit on me, or she can hop in.”

My chair strutted over, plopping down on him with a little hmph. “You just want to feel my stud sitting on you, perv.” You rock back a bit, the curved bottom of the chair going with you, “Oh my god, it’s a rocker! You always said you wanted me to be a rocker! It’s ok, though. I like to be more of a cherry girl for you.”

I walked over, smiling and leaning down to peck you on the cheek, “That’s true. Do you have it in cherry?” I asked.

The salessub shifted his cupholder into a thumbs up. “We do,” he said from his place just below your ass.

I reached down, pulling you off him and sitting down myself. “Definitely need a little more padding on the suit,” I said, giving a few experimental rolls on the rockers. “But I do like that it’s a rocker.”

I stepped up, giving him a minute to untangle himself. “If you’re going with the cherry, I’d recommend a dark brown. It’ll go with the theme, and once the wood darkens and ages a bit, it goes nicely. Basic black is fine, too, though.

“The brown,” you said before I could answer. “He’d get everything in dreary black if he could, but it’s my present, so I get to pick this time.” Little brat.

We walked back towards the fitting area, where he took some measurements of you. He slipped into the back for a few minutes to get everything ready.

“Going to come into the changing room and help me get set up?” you asked, pressing against me. “Or going to behave and let me surprise you.”

I laughed, snapping at your nose, “I never behave. That’s why I’m the Dom. I’d get punished even worse than you if I was the sub.”

You giggle and squeeze my ass, “Such a brat, Daddy.”

A few minutes later, the salessub came back out, “Alright, everything is set up in dressing room two. Would you like any help?”

“We’ll call if we want you,” you said, grabbing my collar and yanking me inside. The room was hexagon-shaped, with mirrors on all the walls. “Oh, this’ll be fun,” you said. You started to lick your lips but moaned instead when I grabbed your throat and shoved you against the back wall.

“Maybe we should get a bed instead,” I growled, leaning in to bite your bottom lip and pull it out a little. “If it were up to you, we’d never make it out anyway.”

“Not true,” you said after I released, leaving your lip out to pout. “I love making out. Besides, only fucking in bed is boring. I want you to read some hot erotica in your new chair, then hop up and fuck her.”

I crushed against you, my lips finding yours, swapping spit and moans for a full minute before I broke the kiss. “Let’s get you out of this and into the new one,” I said, slowly sliding the zipper down your neck, trailing kisses just behind it.

“Mmmm, it’s going to take forever to try it on at this rate.”

“I’m sure they’re used to it,” I said as your breasts slid free. I let go of the zipper, reaching up and cupping them, softly rolling your nipples between my thumb and fingers.

“Hmmm, maybe we should get something with peakaboos instead.”

I gave them a little pinch and a twist, “No. You said you wanted to be part of a cozy reading nook, not a sex piece.”

“I’m always a sex piece!” you said as the suit slipped off your hips and onto the ground. 

I grabbed the new leather one, unfolding it. “This feels nice,” I said, holding it up for you.

“It does. Thick enough to be comfy for you and soft and smooth for me.”

“Oh, and all those zippers,” I said, jingling it. “I know how much you love zippers.”

“Oh my god, I’m getting so wet. Shake them harder, baby!”

I laughed, tilting it around a few times. I grabbed the instruction sheet, a very curvy androgenous sub joyfully slipping into the suit. You just held out a hand, easily slipping into it, periodically pointing to where you needed me.

“I can put a normal catsuit on you just fine, but when you start bending and twisting around, my brain does the same.”

“It’s all the blood going somewhere else,” you said before pulling the hood on loosely, leaving it unzipped.

You crawled into the frame, not quite as easily as the sales sub, “Alright, seal the hood up, and have a seat.”

I did, grinning as the leather squeaked and gave just the right amount before rocking a little. I looked down, noticing a zipper between my legs. “Hey, did you see this zipper down here?” I asked, hopping back up. You wave your hands horizontally in a negative gesture.

I hopped up, unzipping it with a smile.

“If you test that one, you have to buy it!” the salessub calls from outside. I grabbed my wallet out of my pants and tossed it over the top of the door.

An hour later, we were signing up for position training classes. You were pretty good self-taught, but it was our tenth anniversary. It was worth it to splurge and make sure our gift was perfect.

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