Jayden found this list of prompts/questions for 30 Days of Submission. While we like the idea, posting the answers to those questions daily AND all of our other posts is a lot. So we’ve decided to answer a couple of questions a week. However, as we started going through the questions, we realized that some of them just aren’t suited for Richard to answer as a Dom-leaning-switch. So we decided to answer them from both perspectives since Jayden is a sub-leaning-switch.
Does your Submission– either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
Richard: The last time I subbed with Jayden and our ex, I was super bratty. I think I probably generally lean that way as a sub. I love pushing buttons “in real life” and it gives me a fun excuse to do it in play.
Jayden: Richard and I are in a relatively new relationship, so we’re still figuring things out. That said, my first published novel (currently off the market) is titled Slave and is all about a Master/slave relationship. So I do think that that’s where I lean. I’m also open to owner/pet, and I get very turned on when Richard reminds me that he owns me during play. But we’ve both agreed that we’re not into puppy play or pony play. More of a generic ‘pet’.
Describe who you might submit to and how. Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you submissive only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you submissive to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?
Richard: Sexually, I submit only occasionally, and in the bedroom. I don’t think there’s a particular type of partner that makes me more or less likely to submit. Some of my favorite times submitting were switching off with partners who were usually very subby. Generally, I’m only subby with established/serious partners, not first time/casual ones.
Non-sexually, I have very little desire to submit. It’s fun to bring my Dom a snack or something, but I think that’s mostly tongue in cheek, and I do it as a Dom too. In situations where I don’t have a lot of say in what’s going on, I’m more of a “keep your head down and just get shit done” kind of person.
Jayden: I am most likely to submit to someone who shows that I can trust them. I will say that I am generally very subby, so it’s relatively easy for me to play at submission with someone or to have a scene with them. But for true submission, I need that trust and intimacy.
Outside the bedroom, I’m not particularly submissive. I’m not at all submissive in my work-life. But I do take joy in serving Richard as my Master at home. Although we have a pretty 50/50 balance of chores around home, I’ll often go out of my way to do little things for him, but he does the same for me.
Does your dominance– either what you practice or what you strive for – have a label? Do you view your dominance as Taken in Hand, domestic discipline, top/bottom, dominant/submissive, master/slave, owner/pet, or some other description or combination? If you do not use a label, why?
Richard: My relationship with Jayden, and our D/s dynamic, is still evolving. In general, I think I lean towards Master/slave setups. I’ve certainly had relationships with pets, littles, etc. in the past.
Jayden: I rarely want to be dominant with a partner, but I do like titles like Miss, Mistress, Goddess (though that one has become a submissive term with a lowercase g sometimes).
Describe who you might dominate and how. Are you exclusively dominant in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you dominant only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you dominant to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?
Richard: I think I default to being dominant most of the time. I like to describe myself as a 23/6 Dominant. I definitely enjoy being dominant outside the bedroom, but not all the time about every little thing. I think I actually tend to be more dominant with more casual partners. It’s easier to slap someone around and piss in their coffee if you don’t have to go pick out a couch with them the next day.
Jayden: I am only dominant in the bedroom, and rarely at that. I have had long term submissive partners before and it’s too much for me. I get burned out on it pretty quickly. But I can’t deny (and don’t know why I would) that I’ve enjoyed the occasional scene as a dominant. I’m excited to see what it’s like to co-Dom with Richard.
One thought on “30 Days of Submission and Domination”
I really enjoyed your answers to these questions, and I think that I (we?) relate to your feelings towards mixing kink and vanilla life as well, and getting burned out with being Dom for too long. That burned out feeling was what put me off of switching too, I was in control in the day to day, and then i had a partner who wanted me to do it in the evening, I just had nothing in me to give. I definitely enjoy some Dominant things (I love tickle torture for one!) but I couldn’t do it for hours at a time. I’ve got a post coming up probably next week now about 24/7 D/s, so I hope to talk about what it looks like, and how it works for us. Unfortunately, the past few days have been a bit yucky, so I’m a bit behind on where I wanted to be.
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