We’re continuing answering the questions from our list. Check last week’s if you missed them!
Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
Richard: I do not. No Dom I’ve been with has ever asked for it, and I don’t think I’m particularly interested in doing it anyway. In general, I think it’s a rather dangerous kink, though obviously not in the traditional way. Realistically, a lot of relationships already have financial dynamics that may or may not be sexual. If it’s okay to pay for sex, or to rely on your partner financially, I don’t think making a kink out of it necessarily does any harm.
Jayden: I haven’t, and I don’t think I would. I don’t have a lot of extra money, so I don’t know how it would be helpful. And, as much as I enjoy depending on my Dom for lots of things, finances isn’t one of them. I like knowing that I can stand on my own and take care of myself.
Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?
Richard: It’s not, but I think I could enjoy it. Because I only sub sporadically and for short time periods, it doesn’t really come up. I’d be interested in it. I think it’d be fun, and I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak, which could play into it. Don’t get me fired. That’s definitely a limit.
Jayden: Yes, absolutely. In fact, the more I feel like he’s using me for his pleasure, the more I like it.
Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit? If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar?
Richard: It doesn’t. My religious background is pretty sex-negative. I do have a Domme friend who does some religious play, and it’s never really interested me. Overall, I’d say more similar than non, it’s just another “flavor.”
Jayden: Nope. It’s just not a thing for me. I do like that Richard calls me goddess sometimes (note the lowercase g!) but that’s not based in religion. I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who had that particular kink, but as Richard said, it’s similar to other types of kink, especially ‘taboo’ ones.
Do you include financial domination within the definition of your own dominance and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial domination? Do you have an opinion about financial domination in general?
Richard: I’d love to have a pay pig, sugar daddy/mommy slut, whatever. Who doesn’t want some extra spending money, or someone to buy me fun toys (which I can then use on other subs for extra fun)? Jayden and I sort of played around with this before we left her other partner. Another partner I had had a toy that an ex Dom had bought for her, that she “wasn’t supposed” to use with anyone else. That added a fun little twist to using it. I’m more comfortable doing fin Dom as a Dom than as a sub.
Jayden: As a Domme, I’m not sure I could do it. It sounds fun, and like Richard said, it would be fun to have a little extra from time to time, but I think I would feel bad about it.
Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your dominance? Why or why not? Are there limits to this?
Richard: For me, some degree of availability or free use is a basic part of sexual submission. For Jayden, this is more or less literally true, I can do what I want, when I want, no questions asked. For other subs, this was more of a role play affectations. Generally, I try to be flexible about using it in compromising or public situations, though they’re also one of my favorite times to use it. As I remind Jayden, “what’s the point of having a slave if you have to ask?”
Jayden: I think it is to an extent, but as Richard said with submission, I’m mostly a sub, so as a Domme, I don’t know if it works quite the same way. That being said, if I want my sub, I want them on my time.
Does religion have any bearing on your decision to dominate? If not, are you familiar with religious based dominance and do you view it as similar to other types of dominance or dissimilar?
Richard: I’ve done some religious play with some subs, but it’s not one of my primary dynamics. Jayden calls me the God of Rape sometimes. If it’s literally religious based, as opposed to just a roleplay scenario or something, it sounds pretty ripe for abuse.
Jayden: Nope, not at all. I’ve never even attempted it, and I don’t know that I would. It’s one thing to be (as Richard said) the God or Goddess of something, but I don’t think that’s exactly what we’re talking about here.