Richard: My favorite thing to make for breakfast is a curry hash. If I don’t have time to make it myself, it’s usually just a granola bar, piece of fruit, etc.
Jayden: “If I don’t have time to make it myself…” meaning whatever I put in his lunchbox. 😉
If I have time, I love to eat a bowl of cereal. Cinnamon Toast Crunch is my favorite. Otherwise, I love omelets and hash browns and bacon.
2. Three words you don’t want to hear during sex.
Richard: Is it in?
Jayden: Is that blood?
3. Stupid shit you shouldn’t do but do anyway. List two.
Richard: Throw things off the loft, and eat too close to bed.
Jayden: Eat when I’m not hungry and spend money when I shouldn’t.
4. One thing you love to hate.
Richard: The Bachelor
Jayden: I like to say I hate exercise, but honestly, it feels good.
Richard here with an update on some of our ongoing goals:
1. National Novel Writing Month
Jayden and I will both be leading our writing group in Nano again this year. Jayden is writing some kind of futuristic Jeff Goldblum dinosaur smut,
Jayden: That is such a misleading tag for what I’m writing. I have no idea what it’ll be, but it sounds like there will be a Jeff Goldblum as Ian Malcom clone…or something.
and I’m working on a GSM super hero story. We need to hit 100K+ each in order to have any chance at making…
2. One Million Words
Currently, we’re at around 555K. We’re behind (but not completely out of it) on our goal of ~70K each for October. Not counting whatever else we write this month, we need to average a little over 100K each of the remaining two months (if we can make it to around 70K this month, we drop to about the same for December) to hit our goal. That’d be extremely difficult, but not impossible. SEND PROMPTS!
As you can see, April and July are our best months, and in July we almost hit that 200k mark. So fingers crossed!
3. 524 Sexes
On a better note, we’ve cleared the “one to one” threshold on our goal of 524 sexes! With 69 (nice!) days to go, we only need 67 more sexes. I’m hoping to get one more in tonight, depending on how Jayden and I are feeling, but either way it’s a relief. While having a ridiculous amount of sex is fun, at this quantity it starts to feel kind of chorish/check boxy sometimes. I think we’ll shoot for a nice, reasonable, 400 or so next year.
Welcome back for some more Kinktober! Today, I have a story that I wrote back in the early 2000s that I rewrote for Kinktober. I had thought about just editing it, but…no dice. I’m still not sure I’m happy with it, but… here we are!
Before I had come over for the day, we had made a plan. The plan was to have a quickie and then get our work done. But when he touched me, and when he kissed me, I stopped caring about being productive. I just wanted to be with him.
“I’m going to drink the rest of this iced tea, and then we can go in the bedroom,” he said.
I was jittery. So jittery. “That sounds good,” I said. I wasn’t sure what else to say. Despite the fact that I write about sex all the time and we had been roleplaying sexual encounters online for a week, I was embarrassed to talk dirty to him. Super embarrassed to say anything, to call him Sir out loud, even though I had done it once or twice on the phone already, and I did it in text all the time.
But could I do it in person?
I was about to find out.
Waiting for him to finish his drink was torture. Watching him sip at it slowly, talking about completely normal things. I wanted him to hurry up and finish the drink, but I was so nervous. We had talked about so many things, so many options. The thing that stuck out the most to me was that he wanted to fuck my ass. It was the first thing he wanted from me.
And here’s the thing. It had been a really long time since someone had been in my ass. Once upon a time, I had been using plugs to keep my ass nice and ready, but that time had long passed. My husband Nick and I had previously agreed no one else could fuck my ass, which was fine with me because I didn’t really like it anyway. It was hot in theory, but I didn’t love it in practice.
And Nick hadn’t shown any particular interest, so I was sure my ass was going to be very tight. On top of that, I had a feeling that Richard could last a long time. And then what? Would it hurt a lot? Would it just get worse and worse as time went on?
I had spent the previous 24 hours trying to stretch my ass out for him, fingering it, even using a small plug, but I knew that it would all pale in comparison to Richard actually fucking my ass. I’ve always said that size isn’t as important as society would want us to believe, but Richard was a fair amount bigger than Nick. And when it came to anal, that size seemed…substantial. I just sat there, equal parts excited and worried. It was intoxicating.
He finished his drink and put the cup on the table. “Let’s go in the bedroom.”
Hey, hey, hey, hey…Time to get random again on TMI Tuesday. Why? Because it is fun to know random stuff about you; it can reveal a lot about your personality.
1. Tell us about your sluttiest act ever.
Jayden: Oh jeeze. That’s tough. Maybe sex on the bridge overlooking a highway.
Richard: I went to the park and stomped around in the volleyball sand just so I could send a guy feet pics once. I don’t know if that’s actually that slutty, but it’s interesting at least.
2. Have you ever played air-guitar. . .naked?
Jayden: I don’t know if I’ve ever played air-guitar clothed, so, probably not.
Richard: Probably. I’ve played air-guitar lots of times, and been naked lots of times. I assume there’s some overlap there.
3. To what song do you most like to play air-guitar either clothed or naked?
Jayden: I’m more apt to play air drums. Sorry!
Richard: Don’t Stop Believin’ by Journey
4. Are you good in bed? Why?
Jayden: I don’t know? Richard would have to tell you. I’ve had a fair number of partners and none of them have complained, so I guess I’m decent.
Richard: I think so. Mostly because I give fabulous snuggles.
5. What FEELS Sexy to you–tactile sensation? (Leave sight and taste out of this)
Jayden: Touching my nipples.
Richard: Almost anything touching my thighs. Mmmmm.
Bonus: Write a six word autobiography.
Jayden: I did too much. I’m tired.
Richard: I used my Swiss Army Knife.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!
I wrote this post five years ago to commemorate this day, and I don’t think I can say it any better than I did then. So, here you go. ~Jayden
National Coming Out Day
I have lots of feelings about National Coming Out Day. My personal Facebook page is currently flooded with posts from friends proclaiming who they are: bisexual, pansexual, gay, lesbian, polyamorous, kinky, and on and on. It’s wonderful to see so many friends who are comfortable enough with themselves to share it with the world. One friend remarked, “In case you didn’t know…” I smiled, because I know that she is very out about her relationships. Very Out. And I am happy for her that she can be. I know so many people who are afraid to be out to their coworkers, to their family, to their friends. I know so many people who were disowned from their families because of their sexuality or gender.
So on National Coming Out Day, I applaud those who can be open about who they are and those who are supportive of those around them. I feel empathy for those who can’t be out for whatever reason. There are many parts of myself that I have to hide because of my day job. I put up with it because I love my job, but I sometimes live in fear of being outed: outed as polyamorous, outed as kinky, outed as an erotic fiction writer. So I hide parts of myself being a pen name, but to you – my friends and (hopefully) fans, I can be true to myself: I am polyamorous, bisexual, kinky, and I write erotic fiction.
I leave you with a paraphrase of a well known quote: Be kind to everyone you meet. You never know what battles they are fighting.
Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?
Richard: I don’t think so. Since I default to being a Dom, it’s not really a problem.
Jayden: I’m not sure that I’ve been without a dominant partner, since I understood that I was submissive. There have definitely been lulls over the years where my partner wasn’t feeling particularly dominant, and then I did a lot of fantasizing about submission. I give myself tasks to do (which of course is not nearly as much fun), but I definitely missed it when it wasn’t there.
Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
Richard: I don’t like overly dependent subs. There’s a line between playing needy, pathetic, little, etc. and legit being unable to function, and it’s not sexy when it gets crossed.
Jayden: Within myself, I can’t think of anything. Sometimes I get a little embarrassed thinking about the degrading stuff I do that I love. But then the embarrassment turns me on, so… In others, as Richard said, there’s a line there. Bedroom submission is great, but when someone is dependent on me for literally everything, it’s a big turn off.
Can you feel dominant without a submissive partner? If so, how does your dominance express itself? If not, how do you handle your dominance or dominance feelings?
Richard: I’ve often compared the feeling I get from a good scene to when everything clicks in writing, or when I do well in a difficult game, solve a difficult problem, etc. I don’t know if it’s just all happy chemicals, if it’s all similar from a planning/control perspective, or what. When I don’t have a “real” sub I tend to spend a lot more time on chat sites and the like.
Jayden: I can’t. I lean so far submissive naturally that it takes the right partner to bring out the Domme in me.
Is there anything about dominance (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own dominant feelings?
Richard: Just the general use of dominance for cover for assholish or abusive behavior. There were definitely times when I felt guilty about being a Dom when I was much younger, like sixteen or seventeen, but I think that’s the only time.
Jayden: Exactly what Richard said. There are so many abusive “doms” who either use it as a cover or just don’t understand the difference. I remember when a friend was looking for a Dom, she had a hell of a time with it.
We’d love to hear your answers! Feel free to answer some/all in the comments or give us links to your blog if you answered them there!
It could have been our only day. At the time, I didn’t want it to be our only day together, but it could have been. It could have been the worst decision I’ve ever made or the best decision of my life. I feel like there’s no in-between.
I got in the car first thing in the morning, and I knew that I had about 15 minutes to decide. I could change my mind now, and nothing would happen. But I knew for myself that if I drove in that direction, my course was set. But then again, if I hadn’t been sure about it, I wouldn’t have made the plan or gotten in the car. But I did.
I just had to hope that I wasn’t going to regret it.
Welcome to our first traditional Kinktober post. Jayden and I divvied up the list, so you should be getting at least one post from each day. I tend to write fairly short pieces for Kinktober, so I’ll be doubling up some nights so we can finish by the end of the month. Enjoy tonight’s Degradation and Dirty Talk/Elevator sex prompts!
We’re back for a 7th month of The Insecure Writer’s Support Group, and we’re right on time!
If you’d like to chime in and let us know your answers to the questions or drop a link to your post if you’re participating, please do so in the comments! And check out the IWSG website for more answers!
October 6 question – In your writing, where do you draw the line, with either topics or language?
Jayden: If the sex weren’t good and everything else was. Or if the sex doesn’t stay good. (I don’t see that happening, but you never know.)
Richard: Sure, we already go to a couple’s therapist.
3. How do you break up with a friend?
Jayden: The same way you break up with a partner, I suppose. I guess I haven’t really had to do a lot of that. I just let things fade. If I don’t pursue the friendship and neither do they, then I guess that’s the answer…
Richard: I don’t think I ever have. I’ve stopped being friends with people, but I don’t remember ever having a specific conversation about it.
4. Give us a tip to turn a bad day around.
Jayden: I like to listen to some upbeat music. That can often put me in a better headspace.
Richard: Go for a walk.
Bonus: Do you feel drowned by social media?
Jayden: Yes. There’s so much of it. It’s impossible to keep up with everything, and I hate to miss what’s going on in my friends’ lives, but I can’t possibly read everyone’s posts.
Richard: Not really. The only one I really use is FB, and I have few enough friends that I can get through most of their posts in like 10 minutes a day.
Kinktober day 2: Crossdressing. I get the sense that, even in a world teeming with toxic masculinity, Maurice wouldn’t be averse to playing at being a girl. Cathy would happily switch genders – she’s into performance arts, and she’s not very attached to her own identity. I wouldn’t say she’s nonbinary; more like… flexible. I thought it would be fun to emphasize the clothes here as they let their regular identities fade into the background.
Kinktober day 1. Prompt: train molester. Cathy molests her own husband on a train. Is she creepy? Maybe. Maybe she just needed something to hold onto and the ceiling straps were out of reach.
How socially connected is your submission? Do you look for others to talk to about your submission for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Richard: I have a fair number of D/s friends (and a few mostly vanilla ones that I talk kink with.) I’ve used a variety of kink and kink-adjacent websites, chat rooms etc., and have made some lasting friends there. I’ve been to munches, etc. in the past, and would like to start going again.
Jayden: And hey, we did that! We went to one munch so far in our local area, and we’ll probably go to more. I am excited because I have now met another submissive who I have formed a good friendship with. It’s so, so nice to be able to talk about kinky things and not have people look at you strangely. When you say things like, “He choked me last and it was so fucking hot!” or “Look at this bruise!” We were just remarking the other day at a dinner party that it was fun to be at a dinner party where it was totally acceptable for me to whip out my chest to show off a bruise.
In general, my submission had a behind-closed-doors feel to it, but I am really glad to say that that is no longer the case. I am excited to be more social about it and connect with other kinky people.
Is there a physical position that makes you feel most submissive?
Richard: Being tied up makes me squirmy and bratty.
Jayden: Kneeling is generally a good one. Anything that puts me physically below my Dom (though I’m short, so that’s most of the time anyway). And, as Richard said, tie me up!
How socially connected is your dominance? Do you look for others to talk to about your dominance for support or networking? Do you go to events or connect through another sort of social grouping either in person or online?
Richard: It comes and goes. I like to have kinky friends to talk about these sorts of things with. I have a handful of good friends who are generally involved in kink, so I usually have at least a few to talk to. One of our friends recently got involved in a new relationship that’s significantly kinkier than most of his prior ones, so it’s nice to talk to him and his new partner about it. I don’t really like to go to kink events solo, but if I have a partner it’s fun to go out. More rarely I’ll go with a friend.
Jayden: I haven’t been dominant enough to have any kind of support or networking. I guess you could say that for a brief time, I was being dominant in text with a sub and Richard was coaching me through it. That was definitely helpful.
Is there a physical position that makes you feel most dominant?
Richard: Putting my sub in a face down-ass up position is good. And of course, you can’t beat having someone kneeling at your feet.
Jayden: (For the record, I didn’t read Richard’s dominant responses before I wrote my own submissive ones. Yeah, we’re on the same page almost all the time…) As a Domme, having someone kneel at my feet, especially someone who is usually taller than me is hot. I like it when they have that pleading look in their eye. It makes me feel powerful.
We’d love to hear your answers! Feel free to answer some/all in the comments or give us links to your blog if you answered them there!
Hello! We have a brand new feature for this year’s Kinktober! A friend of mine was looking for somewhere to share their kinky art, and I offered to host it here on my blog. We’ll keep going with some of our regular posts (TMI Tuesday and Eventually Ever After) and you should get some Kinktober posts from Richard and I as well. So buckle up! After being sporadic with our posts in September, we’ll be making multiple posts some days!
~Jayden
I’m GS and I make a webcomic called Alien Romance. It’s about two people – Maurice and Cathy – with almost nothing in common, not even a language, who decide to make a go of it. This Kinktober, I’m letting my characters explore their sexual options, mostly with each other, although there are some supporting characters who may also appear.
Usually my scenes are 1-5 full pages long, but this time I plan to do just one or two panels per prompt, and they will be cute.
But please note that my characters are in their mid-20’s. They look a lot younger, but that’s on purpose. I’ve lived for three years in Vietnam, and 4 years in China, and the men here run the gamut from sweet femme bois to hardened bodybuilders. But they are very rarely large people – most of them, by Western standards, are quite diminutive. Immigrants may arrive from these areas and discover that they can’t compete with the social standards of physical appearance in their new communities. In fact, the idea that East Asian men have racial features that are not sexually appealing enough is an ugly trope.
Maurice is a Vietnamese American who grew up in the homogeneous heartland. Cathy is French, and should have enjoyed a life of privilege, but some invisible disabilities and serendipitous misfortunes have landed her in the United States. It’s a story celebrating nonstandard beauty, reclaiming your desirability when it’s been taken away from you, and the joys of being an alien.
We spent the next week trying to figure out what the hell we were going to do about everything. We were developing feelings for each other, and now that we had acknowledged that, they were moving quickly. But we hadn’t had sex yet. And that was driving me crazy.
One of the days Richard came over to my house, he said, “You know, I think we should wait until after Thanksgiving to have sex.”
I wanted to be okay with it, but… He whispered to me so that no one else could hear, “You aren’t used to being told no, are you?”
I shook my head. I wasn’t. I generally got what I wanted, and I liked it that way. Richard was going to be an interesting challenge.
J R Vincente 
