1. When you’re old, would you rather die before or after your significant other?

I usually would say before, because I don’t like the thought of being without him. But given how much older he is than me, I hope I outlive him!

2. Would you rather live at the top of a tall apartment building, in your favorite city, or at the top of a mountain?

Apartment building. 100%. I love the city.

3. Would you rather have to sew all your clothes or grow your own food?

Sew my clothes. I would literally starve if I had to grow my own food.

4. Would you rather have your debt forgiven or have guaranteed good health for a decade?

Oh that is tough, but given recent health issues, as tempting as the former is, I would go with the good health!

5. Would you rather take a bubble bath with your boss or fuck your neighbor?

Um. Both would be very weird. I guess fucking my neighbor since that’s less intimate than a bubbly bath.

Bonus: Would you rather have the details of your financial life or your love life be made public?

Financial life. Revealing my love life to the public might land me in some trouble professionally. Being bisexual, poly, and into bdsm… Not everyone accepts that.

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1. Any sport, any athlete, who would you want to practice with?

I’m not a big sports person, but probably someone awesome and strong, like Serena Williams.

2. List the top 3 pieces of lingerie you like to see on women?

Thong, bra (so fun to have breasts spill out of them when you take it off), and thigh highs.

3. Do you pick up on subtle hints?

Usually. At least, I think so. Are you hinting at something…?

4. Are you seriously expecting an honest reply to “does this make me look fat?”

If I ask my husband, yes! I need to know before I leave the house!

5. How offended would you be if someone called your eyebrows ugly?

Considering I do absolutely nothing to them, eh. Whatever.

Bonus: Is there ever a good time to send a dick pic?

Only when requested!

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1. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Why?
Sex is a difficult topic for partners to discuss, yet sex can draw couples closer together.

Agree – It’s funny that I’m an erotica writer, but I have a difficult time verbalizing things about sex in person with my partners, even long, long time partners. But I love sex and the connection it brings. I’m getting better.

2. Who did you first come out to and why did you chose that person?

Outside of the people who I was dating or interested in dating, I came out to my best friend since elementary school. I knew she would be supportive of me, and she always has been.

3. Has someone come out to you? What was your reaction?

Yes! I am honored when someone is comfortable enough to come out to me. I try to be open about my life and the fact that anyone can tell me things and I won’t judge them.

4. Recent studies show that smartphones are causing decreased intimacy among partners. In your relationship is the smartphone a saboteur or helping hand?

It’s a balance. We have to make time for each other, but we do it because our relationship is important. That said, bonding over memes can be lots of fun.

5. Tell us something that you do that could cause someone to say “What Will the Neighbors Think?”.

Walk someone on a leash around the yard.

6. What was your most recent motivation for masturbation?

I was so horny and I was alone.

Bonus: Do you regularly view porn? What’s regular?

Not regularly, but occasionally. I love group scenes and in particular scenes that involve public displays.

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1. Do you or did you have an “our song” with a current or past significant other? What is the song?

I have had many, many “our song”s. Music has impacted my life quite a bit. “Collide” is one with my current partner – most interesting because there are multiple interpretations of the song.

2. What is your most annoying habit?

Maybe you should ask my partner? Haha.

Personally, I think my ability to attach to someone emotionally too quickly is my most annoying habit. I have great intentions of casual friendships, but then I get attached. That’s not to say I’m clingy, but the thought of them leaving my life for any reason is terrifying.

3. You have been offered free plastic surgery for one part of your body, what will you fix?

Easy. Can they make my thighs not touch? That chafing sucks!

4. A meteor is headed for your house. You have saved family, pets, your computer, and smart phone. You have time to save one more item, what will you save?

A cross stitch I did. I’m not even sure which one, haha, but definitely one of them.

5. Would you reveal a deep dark, shameful or embarrassing secret about your partner for one million dollars?

About my partner? No way. Not worth it.

Bonus: Which one of these do you have the most of: a sense of humor, sense of time, sense of direction, sense of adventure?

A sense of direction. I am always on the go. I always have a direction I’m moving and I get focused on it. The problem is I’m often pulled in multiple directions at once.

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The Dating Game

1. Consider your current lover and your relationship as it stands. If this person were on a dating app would you swipe left or swipe right?

I’m sure I would. He’s still as sarcastic and funny as the day we met. Of course, I met him thanks to a completely random and anonymous yahoo messenger message.

2. Have you ever done speed dating? Did you like it? Did you get a real or full date out of it?

I haven’t, and I don’t know that I would like it.

3. If your date texts during a date, do you find it annoying? If yes, do you say something about it?

Eh. As long as it isn’t obsessive.

4. How do you like to arrange dates–with an actual phone call or all via text messages?

Text messages, usually, but if I really like someone, I can talk on the phone for hours.

5. For a first date, which do you prefer–drink date or dinner date?

Breakfast, actually. It can be a quick meal, but doesn’t have to be if the date is going well.

Bonus: Have you ever been a cockblocker? Why did you do this?

I haven’t been intentionally. If I have, I’m not aware of it.

1. When you have experienced sexual difficulty, how did you overcome it?

With the support of my partner(s) and occasionally my awesome OBGYN.

2. How do you like to reconnect with your significant other?

Sex! Hot, kinky sex, or sometimes love making. Cuddling and touching, for sure.

3. “It isn’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it.” How do you like to be done?

Oh baby! I love touch. Hugs, caresses, cuddles. Soft and gentle usually.

4. If you are married, were you ready for marriage?

Hell yeah! I tried to move the wedding up a year, but hubby wouldn’t let me. I was glad we waited and had the time to fully plan the wedding of my dreams. It was definitely one of the top ten days in my life!

Bonus: “It’s complicated.” In what way does this describes your current (or most recent) relationship?

Ha! Well we’re poly, but we only date together. We prefer the connection it gives us to each other and to the other person/people we’re with. It’s unique and a lot of people don’t get it. Poly people sometimes tell us we’re doing it wrong, swingers tell us we want something too serious, and monogamous people don’t get us at all. But we’re happy, so… whatever! Live and let live.

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1. What curse word do you use the most?

Son of a bitch. All the time. I’ve had to curb that habit at work, but I often say, “Son of a… gun.” Whoops!

2. Would you rather take a picture or be in a picture?

Take a picture, but I don’t think I’m very good at it.

3. Has anyone ever called you lazy? Why did they say that?

I don’t think so. I’m pretty decidedly not lazy.

4. Have you ever dated or slept with a neighbor? How did things turn out?

Yes! I dated (and slept with) a neighbor for years, but I was a teenager, so, not well! But our breakup had nothing to do with the fact that we lived across the street and we stayed friends even afterward.

5. Have you ever broken up with a significant other then “cheated” with that same person while they were in a relationship with someone else?

Nope. I was given that opportunity and turned it down. No thanks. Too much drama.

Bonus: Tell us something good.

This reminds me of the end of the Good Place The Podcast. I love that show and the Podcast that goes with it. I highly recommend it. Funny, poignant, all around a great show.

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Well this is quite the open ended one…

Complete each sentence with an anecdote of sexual adventure or misadventure:

1. The first time I had sex, I was wayyyyy too young. I don’t regret it because I don’t believe in regrets, but I definitely recommend waiting! I don’t urge my kids to wait until marriage, but at least wait until they understand the possible ramifications.

2. The last time I had a sex dream, I woke up and pounced my husband. He wasn’t disappointed!

3. The only time I was in a position to have five people for group sex (an orgy!) one person wasn’t feeling well so it didn’t happen. We never did have another opportunity with that group, but oh well. It shall remain fantasy!

4. My best sexual encounters are ones with people I really care about.

5. My worst sexual encounters are ones with people I don’t care for. For a long time years ago, I had a guy in my life who I hated. We would have sex and then be fighting within an hour. The sex was good! But we weren’t suited for each other. I realized as I matured that I could find partners who were good in bed AND good outside of it. I definitely prefer the latter.

BONUS: Everyone, no matter how much experienced, still has some unfulfilled desires. What is at the top of your yet-to-do list?

I definitely would love to have a true orgy, but I don’t like casual sex. So it would need to be a group of people I knew and trusted. Not an easy task!

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1. What was your favorite part of yesterday? Spending time with my husband and boyfriend. My day started out with the three of us cuddling and ended with the three of us cuddling.

2. If you could make your own porn movie, what would you call it? Would you write it, direct and/or star in the movie? I don’t think I would have the nerve to star in a porn movie, but I would love to. I’m a bit of an exhibitionist. Outdoor stuff, in particular makes me wild.

3. What do you like the least about sex? Cleaning up. I don’t want to get up and shower and wash the toys, etc. I just want to cuddle and nap.

4. So, now what are you planning to do? I’m working on a novel that I want to edit. I wrote a novel and a half in November, and I would like to continue writing, but first I need to edit.

5. If you were a box of cereal, what would you be and why? Cinnamon Toast Crunch, because it’s the perfect blend of crunchy and sweet. 😉

Bonus: If you could shrink down to ant-sized, what would you do? I do like the thought of being like Ant Man. But if there were no other super powers, I would clean all the hard to reach places in my house. (Boring, I know.)

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Whoops… I forgot that it’s Wednesday and Tuesday was yesterday, but what the hell. Here are my answers!

1. If you had three wishes that would come true, what would they be?

This is the hardest question. I actually skipped it at first, but now I’m back to it.

The scope of this question is so broad – I could go political, world peace, curing cancer, and so on and so on.

But I don’t think that’s the spirit of the question.

So I’m going to focus on things I wish related to my writing (since that’s what this blog is about): a) That my writing/blog will help or entertain someone else; b) That I’ll publish another novel this month; c) That I’ll be able to financially support myself with my writing.

2. What are your favorite things to spend money on?

Food and entertainment! I love to get enjoyment out of the money I have.

3. If you could write a song about your life, what type of music would you use?

It would definitely be pop. Something catching and upbeat, with a slower section.

4. If you could choose your partner again, would you choose the same person?

I have multiple partners, but YES, 1000 times yes! Particularly my husband. For all the tough times we’ve been through, I have never loved him more than I do now.

5. When it comes to discussing your sex life, who do you confide in more than anyone else?

I have a couple of friends who I know I can tell everything to. No judgement. No bull shit. Just lots of love (platonic!).

Bonus: What’s your definition of cheating? Is there really such a thing?

Doing things that aren’t agreed to in your relationship. For me, I negotiate the terms and expectations in a relationship, and if someone violates that, it’s cheating.

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1. Which animal listed below represents your true sexual self?
a. Chipmunk – cute and cuddly
b. Monkey – all about being mischievousness
c. Tiger – I’ve earned my stripes

a) Definitely. I am the epitome of cute and cuddly. My partners often remark at how cute I am, and I am cuddly with literally everyone if I don’t hold myself back.

2. Your partner is in the mood for sexy fun and you are tired – what do you do?
a. Start snoring. There is no way I’m giving it up tonight.
b. Trade. You give me a massage… and we will see…
c. That would never happen!

It depends. It doesn’t happen often anymore, so I would lean toward C, but B is often the case as well. I love being woken up on a weekend by a nice massage… that leads to more.

3. Which of these sexual descriptive labels closely matches you?
a. Dominant
b. Submissive
c. Top
d. Bottom
e. Switch
f. Kinkster

e) Switch – but I lean more submissive than Dominant.

4. Would you rather have your enemy eaten by a shark or die in an earthquake getting swallowed up by earth?

Either is fine. But I do like sharks, so probably the earthquake.

5. For the next year, would you rather be dressed like a mime every day OR look normal but not be allowed to talk?

Dress like a mime! I am a chatterbox. I can’t help it!

Bonus: What’s the most beautiful word in the world?

Love. ❤

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1. What promises have you never carried through for yourself?

I played the piano as a child, and I have wanted to get back into it for years. I promised myself I would, and yet I don’t work toward the goal.

2. If you could change one law of your country, what would it be?

Just one?

Listen, I try to stay out of politics as a writer because I feel like my expertise in this realm is erotic fiction, not politics.

But since you asked… If I could only pick one, it would probably be something to do with limiting the guns that shoot many, many rounds in a second. (Not the ones for personal protection, not the ones for hunting, but the ones that kill lots of people when used improperly. I don’t want to debate it, I just don’t think they’re necessary for average citizen use.)

3. Are you a starter or a finisher?

I’m a starter, I’m sad to say. I want to finish more, but I’m really good at starting!

4. How do Mondays feel for you? What about Tuesdays?

Mondays are… Okay. There are some positives about them. I generally like my job, and my favorite TV show is on Monday nights.

Tuesdays are better though. There are times with friends after work on Tuesdays that make life great.

5. What scares you about your future?

Oh relationships scare the crap out of me. Start new ones, old ones ending, whatever the case is. I know that it’s all worth it, and I am very happy with the way I’m living my life with my husband, but the uncertainly of being poly scares me. I wouldn’t change it though, and I have given it *lots* of thought.

Bonus: What do you wish you cared less about?

Perfection. I am constantly taking time to do more to make things just right, things that aren’t worth the time I’m investing. Maybe someday I’ll care less. I’m actively working on letting go of some of those things though.

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1. Is falling in love effortless?
Unfortunately, I think it’s a lot more effortless for me than it should be. I fall hard and fast and easy, and that is not good combined with emotionally attaching to people. And honestly, it doesn’t even have to be someone I’m in a relationship with. I attach to friends as well and don’t want to give them up. I do like to share though, in more ways than one, but people find their way into my heart easily.

2. Is your significant other most like your mom or your dad?
At first I was like, “Whaaaat?” and then I remembered just how much my husband is like my father. They have a lot of the same tastes in movies and music and, to no surprise, they get along well.

3. Which parent do you identify with most?
I am very close to my mom, but my dad and I have more in common in more ways than I care to admit.

4. What one thing are you lacking that you believe will make your life run smoother?
Does time count? How about $1,000,000?

Honestly, my life runs pretty smoothly most of the time. I invest a lot of time in schedules and patterns, and that helps. Plus I have the best husband EVAR. (Fight me.)

5. Which is sexier: constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?

Oh I love pushing boundaries, especially my own. I like saying, “Okay, here’s the limit, now bend it.” This is particularly fun with caning and paddles and other implements of pleasurable pain.

Bonus: Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?

I think that open and honest communication make a relationship stronger. But if there have been secrets, that’s probably not good. But sometimes we bottle things up and lie to ourselves just to keep sane, and eventually that comes out. And when it does, if you work on it together, it can be stronger.

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