1. The best part of your job is _____ .

Ack! See, I don’t want to talk about my day job here! (Actually, more on that tomorrow.) So, let’s pretend that writing is my full time job (Ha!). The best part is getting feedback and knowing that I brought joy to someone’s life.

2. My favorite quote is _____ .

Uh. I don’t know that I’ve ever had one. I’ll have to put some thought into it…

Okay, I did some googling and thinking and I picked one (author unknown): I choose you. And I’ll choose you, over and over and over. Without pause, without a doubt, in a heartbeat. I’ll keep choosing you.

Love is forefront on my mind lately (that’s what happens when you fall rapidly in love). But so many quotes and thoughts about love center around that ONE person who “completes” you and other such BS. I have one person who I’ve been in love with for over 15 years. I choose him every day, and I will continue to choose him. But I also choose several other partners who enrich our lives. We choose those partners together. Anyway, that’s what I like about this quote–it doesn’t suppose that there’s only one person involved. (Uh oh, I feel a rant coming on… Maybe I should save that for another blog post… stay tuned. Maybe Thursday.)

3. The best part of my day is _____ .

The best part of my day is usually bedtime. It’s the time I get to spend with the person/people I love. Being cuddled and touched (often not sexually) is the best feeling in the world for me. And I am lucky enough to have several partners who offer me that. Very, very lucky. Lucky enough that I often worry no one deserves this much love.

4. What is the hardest part of your job? How do you deal with it?

The hardest part of writing is fact checking. Cross checking details, “Was she wearing pink or green?” I once had a main character change hair color halfway through the book. It wasn’t even remotely intentional. Whoops! The problem for me is that I tend to write more about feelings and emotions than about physical appearance. On one hand, I like that because it offers the reader the opportunity to put themselves in the shoes of the main character. The moment I’ve described her as a brunette, my blonde readers aren’t picturing themselves anymore. I don’t know if it’s “right” or “wrong” in terms of writing, but it’s the way I like to write.

So how do I deal with it? Well, for starters, I stopped caring what other people think. Maybe that’s stupid. I want people to buy my books (obviously). But I also like the advice to write what you want to read. So I do. And if it doesn’t fit with what publishers want (Hint: It doesn’t), then I’ll publish it myself (I do).

In terms of fact checking myself, I keep a side by side view document where I keep detailed notes on my character’s physical and mental characteristics, their life experiences, etc. I also keep an outline of what’s happening in each chapter. And when I wrote my first choose your own adventure, I kept a literal note card (3×5) for each chapter. Let me tell you how much fun that way! (A lot of fun, actually…)

5. You must write a “how to guide” about something for which you have expertise. What is this guide about or tell us the title?

Ack. I don’t know that I feel like an expert on much. Not much I would talk about here. I think I would probably write a how to guide titled, “How to be uniquely yourself when the world wants to put labels on you.” How’s that?

Bonus: What would you name your boat?

The Sea Rose

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1. How replaceable are you?

How replaceable am I, or how replaceable do I feel? Those are two totally different answers. I am one of a kind. I’m unique. I’m special. But most of the time, I feel like there’s someone better out there. Lots of someones, in fact. When will that friend/partner find someone better and move on? I try to push those thoughts aside and my current partners are excellent at reassuring me. But I often feel replaceable.

2. Does jealously have value in driving humans to improve themselves or is it a purely negative emotion?

I don’t know if it’s purely negative. I think it depends on what you do with it. If you feel jealous that someone accomplished something and you didn’t, maybe it will drive you to try harder and put forth more effort. If it makes you angry and you give up or treat someone else badly because of it, then it’s not positive. As with most things, it’s what you do with the emotion that makes the difference.

3. A section of your life’s memories needs to be erased, which era will you elect to have erased?
a. childhood memories – age 3 to 12
b. teen and young adult years – age 13 to 23
c. adult – age 24 to 35

Well. If I could break up (b) a little more, I would go with that. But I met my husband in that range. I got engaged and married. I wouldn’t want to erase those memories. And I’m not 35 yet. So, I guess (a) then.

4. With no laws or rules to influence your behavior, how do you think you would behave?

Absolutely. I might have some public sex though. Okay, I definitely would have some public sex. (Don’t worry, I’d make sure it was in an area with no kids!) I would also shout from the rooftops about the people I love. But since I’m married, I can’t do that.

5. Does anonymity encourage people to misbehave or does it reveal how people would choose to act all the time if they could?

I think it’s the latter. If people are willing to misbehave because of the anonymity, then that’s who they truly are.

Bonus: In the time of coronavirus pandemic, what are you rocking–homemade face covering or manufactured mask?

I’m working with manufactured until my homemade ones come in from a family member.

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1. Do you have a strong imagination? Why do you think this?

I do! It’s why I’m a writer. I can’t shut off the stories. On the down side, I often imagine the abso-fucking-lutely worst case scenario. Every. Fucking. Time.

2. Are you confident?

In some things. I’m confident in my writing abilities. I’m not very confident in my musical abilities (which is silly, because I am pretty good).

3. Do you consider yourself to be sensual?
a. You bet I am!
b. Eek, no way.
c. In the right moments, I can be.

a – all the way! I love touching, cuddling, caressing, scritches. Love, love, love.

4. When was the last time you dressed provocatively to entice flirting or attention?

Um. I don’t know. I don’t often dress provocatively. It’s not worth it just to take the damn clothes off. I guess if one of my partners really wanted it, I’d certainly be game.

5. How often do you think about sex?

A lot. A lot a lot. Like, constantly. Or, almost constantly. I’m good at compartmentalizing when I do my day job, usually, but this working from home thing has even that fucked up. Focus is not easy.

6. If someone called you ‘sexy,’ what would you do?

Blush, and disagree.

7. Are you comfortable with your body?

Not particularly. Okay, not at all. I’ve been losing weight, and I’m super excited about that. But I still weigh a lot.

Bonus: Are you good at getting what you want?

Yeah, kinda. If it’s something I want, I’ve learned to go for it, but I won’t manipulate to get it. And actually, I guess that’s been something I’ve been good at for a long time. Someone I was friends with in HS (I graduated 16ish years ago) recently said to me that she was always envious of me in high school because I always knew how to get what I wanted. It was an interesting perception of me.

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1. As the world deals with covid-19, are you masturbating more?

Nope. I’m locked in with multiple partners, so I have no need.

2. With stay-at-home orders and lock-downs, are you able to have more kinky fun at home?

Yes. Lots more. It’s wonderful. One bright spot.

3. Do you think you are watching more porn since you are home more?

Not really. A little bit because we’re kinkier.

4. Fill in the blank. “I am so sick of _____ .”

Not being able to go out and see my friends! I miss them terribly.

5. If this is your first time having an outside job with which you are now working from home, do you think you are more productive now versus when you were at the office?

Definitely less productive at home. I’m more distracted, and it’s not nearly as effective.

Bonus: Would you rather know when you are going to die or how you are going to die? (You can’t change the time or method of your death.)

When. If I knew how, I would be constantly worried about it. If I knew when, I would be able to really live life to the fullest (and spend that retirement savings early, haha!)

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1. If you are self-isolating, under lockdown orders, or quarantined, what is your main daily activity?

Working. I’m working from home now, which sucks. I am also gaming a lot with friends digitally.

2. Would you rather be alone for the rest of your life or always be surrounded by annoying people?

Be surrounded. I don’t do well alone.

3. Would you rather never use social media sites/apps again or never watch another movie or TV show?

Uhh… This is a tough one. I think I would have to keep social media/apps over movies and TV. I do watch them, but not that often.

4. Would you rather live in a utopia as a normal person or in a dystopia but you are the supreme ruler?

I would like to be a normal person anywhere, thanks. No leadership positions for me thank you.

5. Are humans better at creation or destruction?

Destruction. Way better. It’s sad, really.

Bonus: Would you rather find your true love or a suitcase with five million dollars inside?

Can I cheat and say that I already found my true love, so I’ll take the suitcase? Oh wait… that sounds like it would have a monkey’s paw kind of twist. I’d lose my true love when I found the suitcase or something. If that’s the case, I’ll keep my true love, thanks. He’s worth wayyyy more than five million dollars to me.

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1. What is something new you’ve done because you are under coronavirus self-quarantine?

Realized how large my normal social circle is. Otherwise, I’m doing more of the things I love: write, edit, watch TV, movies, crochet,…

2. What three habits have improved your life?

Writing (especially trying to write 1,000,000 words in a year), singing (never underestimate the value of loud music alone in a car), and getting up and getting dressed most days.

3. What really makes you angry?

This FUCKING VIRUS. And the way it was handled. Because, OMG incompetence. Anyway. I literally raged about it one day recently, and it felt really fucking good.

4. What is the craziest thing you’ve seen somebody do in the workplace?

Uh… I’m not sure. Play games instead of work and then get annoyed when someone pointed out that they had down time.

5. What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?

Working out, haha. I know I look stupid, and so do most people.

Bonus: If you were in a band, what kind of music would you play?

Pop music, probably. I have a very pop-style voice.

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1. Who are you really?

I wish I could tell you, I really do. But at my heart, I’m someone who is compassionate, who always wants to help others, who will do almost anything to bring a smile to someone’s face.

2. Are you better at starting or destroying relationships? Why do you think this?

Starting. I love meeting new people. I love talking to new people. I love connecting with new people. Sometimes they stick around and we form great relationships (not necessarily physical/sexual/romantic).

3. What is the biggest doubt you have?

That we’re going to make it through this mess. And that’s all I’m going to say about that.

4. Tell us the name of 3 best programs (TV, movie) that you have watched since being side-lined due to coronavirus lock-downs, quarantines, etc.

I haven’t been watching a lot, honestly, but let’s see… Survivor (trying to catch up on this season), Frozen 2 (which I missed in theaters), and Lord of the Rings.

5. What product do you think the world could do without?

Social media, haha. They are some great connection tools with friends, but some of the political stuff is too much, and all the posts about corona is overwhelming. (Not that I’m downplaying the seriousness of the situation. I just need a break sometimes.)

Bonus: If you died today, how would you be remembered?

What a great question. Um. I feel like this is a question that my friends would have to answer. 😉

But, I’m a mom, a writer, and a whole bunch of other things that I would likely be remembered for.

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1. Assume that in the future there will be huge leaps in human augmentation. Given a scale from completely human to completely machine, how far would you choose to augment yourself with robotics? What parts would you augment and why?

If there’s some augmentation that would give me better working feet, I’d take it. I’d also like to be able to sleep less. So, ultimately, sleep less, move faster, be more efficient. #Goals

2. In your community, are events, school, and large gatherings forbidden or cancelled due to COVID-19?

Yep. Everything’s cancelled. I get it. I support it. I hate it.

3. Has your work schedule changed due to COVID-19–i.e., onsite work changed to teleworking or shortened shifts or no work at all?

Yep. My work is closed for two weeks, minimum.

4. What gets too much attention in the news?

Oh lots of things. I’m sick of hearing about COVID-19 for one. I get it. I’m just…so exhausted by it. I wish it weren’t necessary to convince people that it’s a serious issue.

5. How do you get your news?

Social media, I’m afraid to say.

Bonus: Do you celebrate St. Patrick’s Day? This year how will you celebrate?

Sometimes? Last year we were at a bar with live music. This year… well, there isn’t anything happening this year.

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1. What word is a lot of fun to say? Can I go with a phrase? Son of a bitch!

2. What is your go to euphemism for sexual intercourse? Fuck! Let’s fuck. Wanna fuck? Can we fuck?

3. What current trend do you hope will go away very soon?
Saying “my person” for finding love. (Bonus points if you know what show that’s a catch phrase on.)

4. If you could hack into any one computer, which computer would you choose? One that allows me to change my years of service so I can suddenly retire magically!

5. Would you rather never be stuck in traffic again or never get another cold? Why?
Never get another cold. Ever. I’ve been sick for weeks. I really, really want to never have that again.

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Hello. Welcome. Do tell because it is TMI Tuesday!

1. What time of the day do you feel the most energetic and what do you usually do in those moments?

I often feel the most energetic mid-morning. I like to lay around leisurely for a little while, but then get I want to get moving! When I have the urge, I’ll clean or write or do some organizing.

2. What’s the coolest thing about your life?

The people. My friends make my life so full. I have so many friends from so many areas of my life, and all of them are amazing people. ❤

3. When are you most yourself?

When I’m at home, with my friends and family.

4. Would you rather be an ugly genius or a hot moron?

Hot moron. It’s not being ugly that bothers me. It’s that being a genius when there are SO many morons just sounds like a curse.

5. Would you abandon your phone, internet, family, and friends for three months for a prize of 1 million dollars?

No. Phone and internet, maybe. Friends and family, no way. (Doesn’t this sound kind of like Survivor?)

Bonus: If you could wave a magic wand right now and have your life be perfect, what would that new life look like?

The people in my life who are suffering would no longer be suffering. And that annoying budget I do every week would be unnecessary due to abundance. Other than that, I wouldn’t change a whole lot. (Unless we’re talking that I can change things on a global scale, because then I’d be overhauling the world.)

On that note, my current WIP (Work In Progress) is a novel in a world that is nearly perfect for me. It’s a futuristic world that you can learn all about in April for my A to Z Blog Challenge!

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1. In the bedroom, what makes you insecure?

Being with someone new. Someone who doesn’t know me, who doesn’t yet understand what I like and what I don’t like and vice versa.

2. In the bedroom, what makes you a champion?

When I see that look in someone’s eye that I know I’ve hit the right spot, done the right thing.

3. When it comes to sexy time, I earn a gold medal _____ .

Uh… I’m not a super confident person, so that makes this hard. Creativity? I do write lots of fun sex things.

4. At the sexolympics, in which sport will you compete?
a. Artistic, synchronized water sex in the pool
b. Freestyle naked wrestling
c. Artistic naked gymnastics

5. Your significant other’s ex is coming to town and he/she wants to go out to dinner with them alone. How do you react?
a. It’s okay, no problem.
b. Not thrilled, but go ahead.
c. Not just no… HELL no!

Bonus: What kind of fidelity (being faithful) is more important to you?
a. Physical/Sexual.
b. Mental/Emotional.
c. Neither is important.
d. Both are equally important

That said, I’m poly. So, I’m not inherently that jealous. It also depends a lot on circumstances. #5 has happened before, but they have kids together, so…

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1. If you had to wear a t-shirt with just one word on it for an entire year, what would it say?

Mom. Being a mom often consumes my life. Plus, it would explain away bad hair days and sweat pants.

2. What movie did your parents let you watch as a kid that they definitely should not have?

Jerry Maguire. It came out when I was 10. We watched it at home, so it was on VHS, but I was probably 11 or 12.

3. What are your hopes for this day?

That I will write lots of words! Tuesday is my writing day!

4. What is holding you back from going after what you want?

Society. I wish that I could be more honest about what I write and my relationships, but with my job, I can’t. 😦

5. If you could make a rule for a day and everyone had to follow it, what would it be?

Be kind.

Bonus: What is one thing you refuse to share? Why?

My toothbrush. Yuck!

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Welcome to another TMI Tuesday blog.

1. In a D/s relationship (dominance and submission) , what do you enjoy most?

I am a switch, so this is a very difficult question. I really like it all. I’m bi, poly, and a switch. But I can say that when things get tough and I crave something, it’s being submissive. Nothing centers me like serving someone else.

2. What do you want people to know most about D/s relationships?

I want people to know that no two D/s relationships look the same and THAT’S OKAY! As long as everyone involved are consenting adults, you can make your relationship look however you want to. Don’t get bogged down in what it “should” be, or what someone else is doing. Do what feels right to you and your partner(s).

3. For you, does D/s need to have a sadist and masochist component?

Maybe a little. But I love to write about Doms who are more caring than harsh. Impact play is fun, for sure. I’m not sure I could do without it in my primary relationship at this point. But it doesn’t exist in all of my other relationships.

4. For you, does BDSM have to involve sex?

It is sexual for me, but it doesn’t have to be for everyone. Many of the BDSM things I enjoy are very sexual/sensual.

5. If you are in a D/s relationship, why do you need it?

I need to feel grounded. I keep coming back to this idea that it centers me to serve someone else, but it really does. It’s an important part of who I am.

6. If you are not in a D/s relationship, would you like to be? Why?

So, obviously, I am. But I miss having a sub of my own. Even just a sub to play with occasionally. Having a Dom is wonderful. I couldn’t live without it. But it’s been a while since I’ve had a sub, and I would love to have one again. Someone who can serve and respect us both. Maybe someday soon.

Bonus:   What is the relationship between trust and vulnerability?

I can’t be vulnerable without trust. I trust easily. Too easily sometimes. And sometimes I’m too vulnerable because of it. But usually, the vulnerability comes after the trust has been earned for my husband, too, and that takes longer. He’s a really good judge of people.

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Make TMI Tuesday a part of your life. Play it, live life. 😉

1. What makes you dislike life?

Monotony. I like routine, but not monotony.

2. When has a mundane occurrence or chance completely changed the course of your life?

I met my husband by a random instant message because we both happened to be online at the same time.

3. What has taken up too much of your life?

Social media. For sure.

4. What is the most ridiculous rule you have to follow?

I have to keep a lot of my life a secret because of closed minded people.

5. What does the voice in your head say?

Feeeeeed me!

Bonus: What’s better than great sex?

Delicious food.

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1.Would you rather have one nipple or two belly buttons?

Two belly buttons. I love my nipples. I’d take three, haha. Okay, maybe not, but it’s better than the alternative.

2. Would you rather always feel like someone is following you, but no one is, or always feel like someone is watching you, even though no one is?

I would rather feel like someone is watching me. I might like that. 😉

3. Would you rather have sex in a cave frequented by tourists or sex in a tree house in your parents’ backyard?

A cave frequented by tourists. Dangerous! Exciting! Sexy!

4. Would you rather be unable to use search engines or unable to use social media?

Search engines. I might be a tad addicted to social media. Plus, it’s fun to try to use our memories to figure out things of the past.

5. Would you rather get one free round trip international plane ticket every year or be able to fly domestic anytime for free?

One free round trip. I wouldn’t have the time for all that domestic travel anyway. Although, I do have a lot of friends spread out over the country and I would love to come visit.

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1. What is the most useless thing you know how to do?

I can wiggle my ears? That’s the best I can come up with.

2. Do you use sex to relieve stress? How?

Oh definitely. Being submissive, and getting a good beating is a HUGE stress reliever. I posted about that not too long ago, in fact.

3. What sex act or position did not thrill you until you tried it?

Golden showers. I definitely was not interested. And then I did a challenge on Fetlife (and I’m not one to back down from a challenge), and it turns out, I really like it.

4. What is the most unusual but fun sexual encounter you have had?

“Unusual” is difficult for me. I mean, the fact that my husband and I sleep with with other people on a regular basis is pretty unusual for most people I know, but probably not very unusual for most of my blog readers!

5. What is something that can happen in the middle of sex that will make you put on your clothes and walk out

Political talk. Specifically in support of a certain person who shall not be named.

Bonus: What was a random compliment that someone gave you that really stuck in your memory?

My smile lights up the room, like sunshine!

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Woah boy, it’s been a while. Sorry about that… Anywhoooo:

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1. Christmas music is everywhere. It has been on the radio in my area since mid-November! If you had to listen to Christmas music, from one artist, non-stop during December who would be crooning those holiday tunes? (must pick one). Why did you make that choice?
a. Harry Connick Jr.
b. Mariah Carey – I might actually really like her over-played songs. Go ahead. Judge me.

2. In 2019, in the bedroom, were you mostly naughty or nice?

3. In your next sexcapade, who will be joining you (must pick one)? Why is that your choice?
a. Mr and Mrs Santa Claus
b. Grinch
c. Frosty the snowman
d. 4 of Santa’s elves – a gang bang has always been on my bucket list…

4. Do you celebrate any holidays in December? If yes, what?

I do! Christmas most specifically, but also New Year’s.

5. How will you be spreading holiday cheer in 2019?

I am a pretty cheerful person all the time, so I’m not much different, but I LOVE giving gifts. Love, love, love.

Bonus: What Netflix holiday movie do you recommend we watch? I actually have never watched any. I know, that’s a surprise. But, I really like The Holiday with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet which is on Hulu.

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From http://propertyofpotter.com :
1. What strange areas of your body are ticklish?

Every part of my body is ticklish. I wish I were kidding, but I’m not. Every. Part.

From https://scarletrosevixen.wordpress.com :
2. What is something you are interested in sexually, but only on a purely fantasy level? Something that you think about but could never fully act on.

Being a 24/7 submissive. I love the idea of being a slave, I even wrote a book about it. It was my first published novel.

From http://truepleasuresreviews.com :
3. If you could have a week of the best sex ever in human history but you had to have a fish head as your head for the rest of your life, after that week, would you do it?

Uh, I don’t think so. Having a fish head sounds fun and all, but…

From http://sexualitysanctuary.blogspot.ca :
4. What do you consider taboo and have you ever ventured into this territory? Was it a great, good, bad or horrific experience?

There are a lot of taboo fetishes that I have been interested in. (In fact, some of them are featured in the book I referenced above.) I have ventured into some of them, and I have had really good experiences over all. It helps having a very non-judgy partner.

From http://www.shadowedseductress.com :
5. What part of your body do you consider the most unusual that you enjoy being stimulated?

Most unusual… Hm. The parts that I like being stimulated are having my hair played with, my feet rubbed, my back rubbed (touched, whatever)… Oh, I know! I like it when someone gently caresses the line where my bra goes under my breasts and the crease where my thighs meet my pubic area. Those areas get really sore sometimes, and it feels nice to have them stimulated.

Bonus:

From http://herprivateisland.com :
If you could make a porn film/video with any celebrity, who would it be and why?

Angelina Jolie. I have been enamored with her for as long as I can remember. She’s so beautiful.

Check out other TMI Tuesday Blogs here! (Also check out why each question came from a different place!)

1. What makes you insecure?

Anything where I don’t know what to expect. If I have been somewhere before, or have someone with me who has, I am much less insecure.

2. What do you expect from a romantic love relationship?

Openness, honesty, communication.

3. What do you expect from a friendship?

Openness, honesty, communication. The only difference is that we don’t have romance/love.

4. What do you expect from a Friends-with-Benefits situation?

Openness, honesty, communication. Actually, I’m not sure I can do Friends-with-Benefits. I get too attached, fall too hard, or however you want to think of it. I much prefer a relationship.

5. What expectations do you have for yourself?

Always do better than the last time. Do my best, all the time. Sometimes, that’s a tall order.

Bonus:   Post one picture (art, photograph, drawing) that depicts how you feel today.

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1. Which of these do you do the most with your significant other? List in order of frequency from done the most to performed less frequently. If you don’t engage in any of this with your significant other write N/A (not applicable)
a. Eat meals with your significant other without smartphones, tablets, TV or any device.
c. Share a morning kiss that lasts longer than six seconds.
b. Exercise together

We are big on our smartphones, but we connect in other ways. 😉
Morning sex is the best, and usually starts with a backrub and kisses.
We need to do this more…

2. Briefly tell us about a time when things felt helpless but you knew you would pull through.

When someone in my family passed away suddenly. It was really hard on all of us. I knew we would rally, but it was tough.

3. Would you rather have sex in a posh romantic hotel suite, on a secluded tropical beach or in your own bedroom? Why?

Posh romantic hotel suite, all the way! In suite hot tub, please!

4. Have you practiced orgasm denial? Did you like it? Would you do it again?

Not enough. Please, please?

5. Finish this line: I doubt I will ever tell you _____ .

About my “real” life. Being a bisexual, poly, kinky, bdsm author would not fly in my daily life.

Bonus: Would you pay good money to have the kind of sex you want, when you want?

Yeah, if I had the disposable income, I totally would.

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