Welcome to another TMI Tuesday blog.

1. In a D/s relationship (dominance and submission) , what do you enjoy most?

I am a switch, so this is a very difficult question. I really like it all. I’m bi, poly, and a switch. But I can say that when things get tough and I crave something, it’s being submissive. Nothing centers me like serving someone else.

2. What do you want people to know most about D/s relationships?

I want people to know that no two D/s relationships look the same and THAT’S OKAY! As long as everyone involved are consenting adults, you can make your relationship look however you want to. Don’t get bogged down in what it “should” be, or what someone else is doing. Do what feels right to you and your partner(s).

3. For you, does D/s need to have a sadist and masochist component?

Maybe a little. But I love to write about Doms who are more caring than harsh. Impact play is fun, for sure. I’m not sure I could do without it in my primary relationship at this point. But it doesn’t exist in all of my other relationships.

4. For you, does BDSM have to involve sex?

It is sexual for me, but it doesn’t have to be for everyone. Many of the BDSM things I enjoy are very sexual/sensual.

5. If you are in a D/s relationship, why do you need it?

I need to feel grounded. I keep coming back to this idea that it centers me to serve someone else, but it really does. It’s an important part of who I am.

6. If you are not in a D/s relationship, would you like to be? Why?

So, obviously, I am. But I miss having a sub of my own. Even just a sub to play with occasionally. Having a Dom is wonderful. I couldn’t live without it. But it’s been a while since I’ve had a sub, and I would love to have one again. Someone who can serve and respect us both. Maybe someday soon.

Bonus:   What is the relationship between trust and vulnerability?

I can’t be vulnerable without trust. I trust easily. Too easily sometimes. And sometimes I’m too vulnerable because of it. But usually, the vulnerability comes after the trust has been earned for my husband, too, and that takes longer. He’s a really good judge of people.

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Make TMI Tuesday a part of your life. Play it, live life. 😉

1. What makes you dislike life?

Monotony. I like routine, but not monotony.

2. When has a mundane occurrence or chance completely changed the course of your life?

I met my husband by a random instant message because we both happened to be online at the same time.

3. What has taken up too much of your life?

Social media. For sure.

4. What is the most ridiculous rule you have to follow?

I have to keep a lot of my life a secret because of closed minded people.

5. What does the voice in your head say?

Feeeeeed me!

Bonus: What’s better than great sex?

Delicious food.

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1.Would you rather have one nipple or two belly buttons?

Two belly buttons. I love my nipples. I’d take three, haha. Okay, maybe not, but it’s better than the alternative.

2. Would you rather always feel like someone is following you, but no one is, or always feel like someone is watching you, even though no one is?

I would rather feel like someone is watching me. I might like that. 😉

3. Would you rather have sex in a cave frequented by tourists or sex in a tree house in your parents’ backyard?

A cave frequented by tourists. Dangerous! Exciting! Sexy!

4. Would you rather be unable to use search engines or unable to use social media?

Search engines. I might be a tad addicted to social media. Plus, it’s fun to try to use our memories to figure out things of the past.

5. Would you rather get one free round trip international plane ticket every year or be able to fly domestic anytime for free?

One free round trip. I wouldn’t have the time for all that domestic travel anyway. Although, I do have a lot of friends spread out over the country and I would love to come visit.

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1. What is the most useless thing you know how to do?

I can wiggle my ears? That’s the best I can come up with.

2. Do you use sex to relieve stress? How?

Oh definitely. Being submissive, and getting a good beating is a HUGE stress reliever. I posted about that not too long ago, in fact.

3. What sex act or position did not thrill you until you tried it?

Golden showers. I definitely was not interested. And then I did a challenge on Fetlife (and I’m not one to back down from a challenge), and it turns out, I really like it.

4. What is the most unusual but fun sexual encounter you have had?

“Unusual” is difficult for me. I mean, the fact that my husband and I sleep with with other people on a regular basis is pretty unusual for most people I know, but probably not very unusual for most of my blog readers!

5. What is something that can happen in the middle of sex that will make you put on your clothes and walk out

Political talk. Specifically in support of a certain person who shall not be named.

Bonus: What was a random compliment that someone gave you that really stuck in your memory?

My smile lights up the room, like sunshine!

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Woah boy, it’s been a while. Sorry about that… Anywhoooo:

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1. Christmas music is everywhere. It has been on the radio in my area since mid-November! If you had to listen to Christmas music, from one artist, non-stop during December who would be crooning those holiday tunes? (must pick one). Why did you make that choice?
a. Harry Connick Jr.
b. Mariah Carey – I might actually really like her over-played songs. Go ahead. Judge me.

2. In 2019, in the bedroom, were you mostly naughty or nice?

3. In your next sexcapade, who will be joining you (must pick one)? Why is that your choice?
a. Mr and Mrs Santa Claus
b. Grinch
c. Frosty the snowman
d. 4 of Santa’s elves – a gang bang has always been on my bucket list…

4. Do you celebrate any holidays in December? If yes, what?

I do! Christmas most specifically, but also New Year’s.

5. How will you be spreading holiday cheer in 2019?

I am a pretty cheerful person all the time, so I’m not much different, but I LOVE giving gifts. Love, love, love.

Bonus: What Netflix holiday movie do you recommend we watch? I actually have never watched any. I know, that’s a surprise. But, I really like The Holiday with Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet which is on Hulu.

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From http://propertyofpotter.com :
1. What strange areas of your body are ticklish?

Every part of my body is ticklish. I wish I were kidding, but I’m not. Every. Part.

From https://scarletrosevixen.wordpress.com :
2. What is something you are interested in sexually, but only on a purely fantasy level? Something that you think about but could never fully act on.

Being a 24/7 submissive. I love the idea of being a slave, I even wrote a book about it. It was my first published novel.

From http://truepleasuresreviews.com :
3. If you could have a week of the best sex ever in human history but you had to have a fish head as your head for the rest of your life, after that week, would you do it?

Uh, I don’t think so. Having a fish head sounds fun and all, but…

From http://sexualitysanctuary.blogspot.ca :
4. What do you consider taboo and have you ever ventured into this territory? Was it a great, good, bad or horrific experience?

There are a lot of taboo fetishes that I have been interested in. (In fact, some of them are featured in the book I referenced above.) I have ventured into some of them, and I have had really good experiences over all. It helps having a very non-judgy partner.

From http://www.shadowedseductress.com :
5. What part of your body do you consider the most unusual that you enjoy being stimulated?

Most unusual… Hm. The parts that I like being stimulated are having my hair played with, my feet rubbed, my back rubbed (touched, whatever)… Oh, I know! I like it when someone gently caresses the line where my bra goes under my breasts and the crease where my thighs meet my pubic area. Those areas get really sore sometimes, and it feels nice to have them stimulated.

Bonus:

From http://herprivateisland.com :
If you could make a porn film/video with any celebrity, who would it be and why?

Angelina Jolie. I have been enamored with her for as long as I can remember. She’s so beautiful.

Check out other TMI Tuesday Blogs here! (Also check out why each question came from a different place!)

1. What makes you insecure?

Anything where I don’t know what to expect. If I have been somewhere before, or have someone with me who has, I am much less insecure.

2. What do you expect from a romantic love relationship?

Openness, honesty, communication.

3. What do you expect from a friendship?

Openness, honesty, communication. The only difference is that we don’t have romance/love.

4. What do you expect from a Friends-with-Benefits situation?

Openness, honesty, communication. Actually, I’m not sure I can do Friends-with-Benefits. I get too attached, fall too hard, or however you want to think of it. I much prefer a relationship.

5. What expectations do you have for yourself?

Always do better than the last time. Do my best, all the time. Sometimes, that’s a tall order.

Bonus:   Post one picture (art, photograph, drawing) that depicts how you feel today.

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1. Which of these do you do the most with your significant other? List in order of frequency from done the most to performed less frequently. If you don’t engage in any of this with your significant other write N/A (not applicable)
a. Eat meals with your significant other without smartphones, tablets, TV or any device.
c. Share a morning kiss that lasts longer than six seconds.
b. Exercise together

We are big on our smartphones, but we connect in other ways. 😉
Morning sex is the best, and usually starts with a backrub and kisses.
We need to do this more…

2. Briefly tell us about a time when things felt helpless but you knew you would pull through.

When someone in my family passed away suddenly. It was really hard on all of us. I knew we would rally, but it was tough.

3. Would you rather have sex in a posh romantic hotel suite, on a secluded tropical beach or in your own bedroom? Why?

Posh romantic hotel suite, all the way! In suite hot tub, please!

4. Have you practiced orgasm denial? Did you like it? Would you do it again?

Not enough. Please, please?

5. Finish this line: I doubt I will ever tell you _____ .

About my “real” life. Being a bisexual, poly, kinky, bdsm author would not fly in my daily life.

Bonus: Would you pay good money to have the kind of sex you want, when you want?

Yeah, if I had the disposable income, I totally would.

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1. When you’re old, would you rather die before or after your significant other?

I usually would say before, because I don’t like the thought of being without him. But given how much older he is than me, I hope I outlive him!

2. Would you rather live at the top of a tall apartment building, in your favorite city, or at the top of a mountain?

Apartment building. 100%. I love the city.

3. Would you rather have to sew all your clothes or grow your own food?

Sew my clothes. I would literally starve if I had to grow my own food.

4. Would you rather have your debt forgiven or have guaranteed good health for a decade?

Oh that is tough, but given recent health issues, as tempting as the former is, I would go with the good health!

5. Would you rather take a bubble bath with your boss or fuck your neighbor?

Um. Both would be very weird. I guess fucking my neighbor since that’s less intimate than a bubbly bath.

Bonus: Would you rather have the details of your financial life or your love life be made public?

Financial life. Revealing my love life to the public might land me in some trouble professionally. Being bisexual, poly, and into bdsm… Not everyone accepts that.

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1. Any sport, any athlete, who would you want to practice with?

I’m not a big sports person, but probably someone awesome and strong, like Serena Williams.

2. List the top 3 pieces of lingerie you like to see on women?

Thong, bra (so fun to have breasts spill out of them when you take it off), and thigh highs.

3. Do you pick up on subtle hints?

Usually. At least, I think so. Are you hinting at something…?

4. Are you seriously expecting an honest reply to “does this make me look fat?”

If I ask my husband, yes! I need to know before I leave the house!

5. How offended would you be if someone called your eyebrows ugly?

Considering I do absolutely nothing to them, eh. Whatever.

Bonus: Is there ever a good time to send a dick pic?

Only when requested!

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1. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Why?
Sex is a difficult topic for partners to discuss, yet sex can draw couples closer together.

Agree – It’s funny that I’m an erotica writer, but I have a difficult time verbalizing things about sex in person with my partners, even long, long time partners. But I love sex and the connection it brings. I’m getting better.

2. Who did you first come out to and why did you chose that person?

Outside of the people who I was dating or interested in dating, I came out to my best friend since elementary school. I knew she would be supportive of me, and she always has been.

3. Has someone come out to you? What was your reaction?

Yes! I am honored when someone is comfortable enough to come out to me. I try to be open about my life and the fact that anyone can tell me things and I won’t judge them.

4. Recent studies show that smartphones are causing decreased intimacy among partners. In your relationship is the smartphone a saboteur or helping hand?

It’s a balance. We have to make time for each other, but we do it because our relationship is important. That said, bonding over memes can be lots of fun.

5. Tell us something that you do that could cause someone to say “What Will the Neighbors Think?”.

Walk someone on a leash around the yard.

6. What was your most recent motivation for masturbation?

I was so horny and I was alone.

Bonus: Do you regularly view porn? What’s regular?

Not regularly, but occasionally. I love group scenes and in particular scenes that involve public displays.

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1. Do you or did you have an “our song” with a current or past significant other? What is the song?

I have had many, many “our song”s. Music has impacted my life quite a bit. “Collide” is one with my current partner – most interesting because there are multiple interpretations of the song.

2. What is your most annoying habit?

Maybe you should ask my partner? Haha.

Personally, I think my ability to attach to someone emotionally too quickly is my most annoying habit. I have great intentions of casual friendships, but then I get attached. That’s not to say I’m clingy, but the thought of them leaving my life for any reason is terrifying.

3. You have been offered free plastic surgery for one part of your body, what will you fix?

Easy. Can they make my thighs not touch? That chafing sucks!

4. A meteor is headed for your house. You have saved family, pets, your computer, and smart phone. You have time to save one more item, what will you save?

A cross stitch I did. I’m not even sure which one, haha, but definitely one of them.

5. Would you reveal a deep dark, shameful or embarrassing secret about your partner for one million dollars?

About my partner? No way. Not worth it.

Bonus: Which one of these do you have the most of: a sense of humor, sense of time, sense of direction, sense of adventure?

A sense of direction. I am always on the go. I always have a direction I’m moving and I get focused on it. The problem is I’m often pulled in multiple directions at once.

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The Dating Game

1. Consider your current lover and your relationship as it stands. If this person were on a dating app would you swipe left or swipe right?

I’m sure I would. He’s still as sarcastic and funny as the day we met. Of course, I met him thanks to a completely random and anonymous yahoo messenger message.

2. Have you ever done speed dating? Did you like it? Did you get a real or full date out of it?

I haven’t, and I don’t know that I would like it.

3. If your date texts during a date, do you find it annoying? If yes, do you say something about it?

Eh. As long as it isn’t obsessive.

4. How do you like to arrange dates–with an actual phone call or all via text messages?

Text messages, usually, but if I really like someone, I can talk on the phone for hours.

5. For a first date, which do you prefer–drink date or dinner date?

Breakfast, actually. It can be a quick meal, but doesn’t have to be if the date is going well.

Bonus: Have you ever been a cockblocker? Why did you do this?

I haven’t been intentionally. If I have, I’m not aware of it.

1. When you have experienced sexual difficulty, how did you overcome it?

With the support of my partner(s) and occasionally my awesome OBGYN.

2. How do you like to reconnect with your significant other?

Sex! Hot, kinky sex, or sometimes love making. Cuddling and touching, for sure.

3. “It isn’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it.” How do you like to be done?

Oh baby! I love touch. Hugs, caresses, cuddles. Soft and gentle usually.

4. If you are married, were you ready for marriage?

Hell yeah! I tried to move the wedding up a year, but hubby wouldn’t let me. I was glad we waited and had the time to fully plan the wedding of my dreams. It was definitely one of the top ten days in my life!

Bonus: “It’s complicated.” In what way does this describes your current (or most recent) relationship?

Ha! Well we’re poly, but we only date together. We prefer the connection it gives us to each other and to the other person/people we’re with. It’s unique and a lot of people don’t get it. Poly people sometimes tell us we’re doing it wrong, swingers tell us we want something too serious, and monogamous people don’t get us at all. But we’re happy, so… whatever! Live and let live.

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1. What curse word do you use the most?

Son of a bitch. All the time. I’ve had to curb that habit at work, but I often say, “Son of a… gun.” Whoops!

2. Would you rather take a picture or be in a picture?

Take a picture, but I don’t think I’m very good at it.

3. Has anyone ever called you lazy? Why did they say that?

I don’t think so. I’m pretty decidedly not lazy.

4. Have you ever dated or slept with a neighbor? How did things turn out?

Yes! I dated (and slept with) a neighbor for years, but I was a teenager, so, not well! But our breakup had nothing to do with the fact that we lived across the street and we stayed friends even afterward.

5. Have you ever broken up with a significant other then “cheated” with that same person while they were in a relationship with someone else?

Nope. I was given that opportunity and turned it down. No thanks. Too much drama.

Bonus: Tell us something good.

This reminds me of the end of the Good Place The Podcast. I love that show and the Podcast that goes with it. I highly recommend it. Funny, poignant, all around a great show.

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Well this is quite the open ended one…

Complete each sentence with an anecdote of sexual adventure or misadventure:

1. The first time I had sex, I was wayyyyy too young. I don’t regret it because I don’t believe in regrets, but I definitely recommend waiting! I don’t urge my kids to wait until marriage, but at least wait until they understand the possible ramifications.

2. The last time I had a sex dream, I woke up and pounced my husband. He wasn’t disappointed!

3. The only time I was in a position to have five people for group sex (an orgy!) one person wasn’t feeling well so it didn’t happen. We never did have another opportunity with that group, but oh well. It shall remain fantasy!

4. My best sexual encounters are ones with people I really care about.

5. My worst sexual encounters are ones with people I don’t care for. For a long time years ago, I had a guy in my life who I hated. We would have sex and then be fighting within an hour. The sex was good! But we weren’t suited for each other. I realized as I matured that I could find partners who were good in bed AND good outside of it. I definitely prefer the latter.

BONUS: Everyone, no matter how much experienced, still has some unfulfilled desires. What is at the top of your yet-to-do list?

I definitely would love to have a true orgy, but I don’t like casual sex. So it would need to be a group of people I knew and trusted. Not an easy task!

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